Boys profiles : rishta hunt

[Aaze]

Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt

@PyariCgudia

If religion means something to someone, they will tend to marry within their own religion. Exceptions exist, but that’s the reality around us.

Because muslim guys are increasingly disconnected from their religion and faith - common to see guys being raised without being taught Urdu, and with different rules like different curfews, able to hang out with “friends” etc, they’re dating. **Believe it or not, most desi guys out there are dating. And while our girls are sitting at home being overprotected, those boys are dating, and eventually, many of them marry those girls. **

And then we wonder why a rishta aunty has 20 girls to 1 guy in her portfolio.

Haha right dating and desi girls. Never heard that one right

Desi girls are such angels na while the guys are devils.

I forgot.

Do continue.

[Sweetmoi]

Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt

@Aaze PCG has all the stat. Dont start another stat lecture now haha

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt

You kids can mock all you want. Facts are facts.

If everyone's bhai was an angel, the rosters in rishta aunties pockets wouldn't be mostly girls.

[MM]

Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt

@PyariCgudia

Believe it or not, the men who marry out of the religion…for them religion isn’t important in the first place, and more often than you think there never was a deal that the kids would be muslim. If mom never converts, and religion isn’t practiced in the home in the first place, the kids often do not end up muslim or are muslim just by name and are non-practicing.

People think somehow that the western muslims who are marrying out of their culture into the local population somehow are following the Quran’s guidance, and everything is peachy and their kids are all hijabi’s and mullah’s in the end.

That’s not the reality. For some it might be but for many others, families are disconnected from Islam. In fact, the guys who are disconnected to begin with are often found marrying out.

Or they’re just over-eager immigrants who are now realizing daughter dearest is following mom’s example and boozing it up on weekends.

HO-LY-WOW… …
I’m not sure what world you live in. Sure, there are probabaly some people who fit the picture you’ve painted… but how do you just generalize EVERYONE and say they’re all like that?

I know loadssss of Pakistani MUSLIM guys who have married women of other faiths. Some of the women converted to Islam, some didn’t. From the ones who haven’t, their children have Muslim names, say salam, know how to pray, understand the basics about Islam and it’s teachings, and some even take the extra step in taking their children to classes at their local Masjids.
Sure their kids aren’t all “hijabis and mullahs”, but they know who they are.

I’d go as far to say that some of the “non-traditional” families are more spiritual than the purebred Pakistani fam bams. yep. I went there. b-boy stance

Now, why am I bothered by your generalization? Because the people I’m referring to aren’t in just in one community. These people are spread between 5 different states.

I wish you didn’t let your emotions cloud your judgement as much as it does.

[Sweetmoi]

Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt

PCG: The fact tht u Think ur statements are facts says a lot abt u and how ur mind works. Period.

No one is mocking u. Stop playing the victim card all the time. It gets tiring.

[Mezhgan]

Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt

@PyariCgudia

You kids can mock all you want. Facts are facts.

If everyone’s bhai was an angel, the rosters in rishta aunties pockets wouldn’t be mostly girls.

Maybe they are finding spouses on their own and not through rishta aunties? I assume you’re in your late 20s, so I’m not certain why you have this antiquated idea that the only two ways to meet someone are through rishta aunties or partying it up at the pub.

There is quite a bit of room to meet people in between those two extremes. Most of the Pakistani guys I went to uni with, who are married or are now getting married, did not do the rishta aunty thing but were not partying it up at the pub every night either. Most of them found their spouses on their own, such as girls they went to school with, worked with, knew from other activities, or someone they met from their social circle.

[Sweetmoi]

Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt

@MM

I’d go as far to say that some of the “non-traditional” families are more spiritual than the purebred Pakistani fam bams. yep. I went there. b-boy stance

This.

[MM]

Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt

^

@Mezhgan

I assume you’re in your late 20s, so I’m not certain why you have this antiquated idea that the only two ways to meet someone are through rishta aunties or partying it up at the pub.

[Maula_Jatt]

@PyariCgudia:10071961

[quote="“Maula_Jatt, post:36, topic:317250"”]

I hope blaming everything but yourself and repeatedly making threads about it help you with your ultimate goal of securing a man. I mean how could they possibly not.

Oh and if thats not enough try one of these;
-bring ur mum to all ur meets with a prospective groom; men like wondering “could I marry em both and make it work”
-make sure you become very bitter and shut down all social interactions with people; this lets guys know we can leave you alone at home and have peace of mind because no one else is gonna wanna talk to you
-consistently set standards ridiculously high; this is key. This will help you sift out all the crap and you will be left with nuggets of gold.
-always be more concerned with with your entitlements rather than your responsibilities; absolutely vital to a successful marriage, many claim this works just as well before marriage as it does after.

Hope this helps!

If my blogs bother you, you could just choose to not read them.
[/quote]

Pcg your blogs are an absolute delight. I have no quarrel with ur blogs. Its ur own business anyway.

My problem is with you blaming everyone under the sun for your problems (paki men, sahms, non muslim girls, muslim girls, mothers, rishta aunties, aunties, religious clerics, fundamental principles of islam, BILS, DILS, MILS, etc) excpet the ONE person whos fault it is; yourself.

Have u ever judged urself?
Ur attitude towards relationships?
Ur attitude towards men?

Just want to remind you that the men you (and women like you) love bashing, are the ones whos approval you are oh so desperately after.

[Maula_Jatt]

@PyariCgudia:10071960

[quote="“MM, post:12, topic:317103"”]

“Idea” LOL… this is not just an idea, dear PCG.
The Qur’an lays out clear guidelines for marriage. “One of the main traits you should look for in a potential spouse is a similarity in religious outlook. For the sake of compatibility, and the upbringing of future children, it is recommended for a Muslim to marry another Muslim. However, in some circumstances (i.e. males marrying women of other faith AS LONG AS the couple raise their children as Muslims) it is permissible for a Muslim to marry a non-Muslim.”
So yea… This is not just some made up Aunty rule…

Why would you have to force someone to convert?
I’ve always believed that if someone converts for marragie, their intentions are not in the right place… If one was to convert (to or from any other religion), it should be for God only.

Are there not other cultures other than Pakistanis that are Muslim? There are billions of people in the world… And of those billions, Muslims make up roughly 25% of the total population.

And for your point regarding the population of men vs women, I don’t disagree that in South Asia and the Middle East there are more dudes than gals… but over all, based on the statistics (link below), there are more women than men. And these stats are a tad more recent.

Population of Female (% of Total)

Believe it or not, the men who marry out of the religion…for them religion isn’t important in the first place, and more often than you think there never was a deal that the kids would be muslim. If mom never converts, and religion isn’t practiced in the home in the first place, the kids often do not end up muslim or are muslim just by name and are non-practicing.

People think somehow that the western muslims who are marrying out of their culture into the local population somehow are following the Quran’s guidance, and everything is peachy and their kids are all hijabi’s and mullah’s in the end.

That’s not the reality. For some it might be but for many others, families are disconnected from Islam. In fact, the guys who are disconnected to begin with are often found marrying out.

Or they’re just over-eager immigrants who are now realizing daughter dearest is following mom’s example and boozing it up on weekends.
[/quote]

Oh yeah. What gold!!

Believe it or not women who spew this kind of stuff suffer from a dangerous mix of jealousy and regret.

Regret because the time they should have spent developing bonds with people, they spent being a modern powerful independent woman.

Jealousy because they realised all the girls they were oh so smarter and more clever than, have now married and have kids yet here you are unable to cling onto ANY meaningful relationship in ur life.

I mean non muslim girls have NOTHING to do with the topic yet you unfairly use them to makw such absurd generalisations.

Why would anyone wanna marry someone that twisted? Hmmm?

[Maula_Jatt]

@Sweetmoi:10071993

@Aaze PCG has all the stat. Dont start another stat lecture now haha

Class is dismissed for the day

[redvelvet]

Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt

OMG PCG, please stop yourself. Those are such gross generalizations I don't even know where to begin. Stop judging people and generalizing about a wide population based on a few cases you have seen around. Your observations are not the facts. Just stop it.

So, I guess it's just me that doesn't think PCG is entirely wrong. Too much political correctness here sometimes. Sometimes I think we should stop that.

If the wife converts to Islam and genuinely wants to follow the religion, great! If she doesn't convert and if she has no interest in Islam/religion and the guy knows that despite their compatibility in terms of personality, her lifestyle is not the same as his and not one that he wants his future kids to follow.....then he knows he's taking a risk. Although it's permissible to marry a Christian woman (for example), even if she's a practicing one.....he must know that her core beliefs (trinity) come into conflict with Islam's belief in only one God. He has to factor in all these risks/potential consequences if religion is his first priority. He may still care about his religion.....but I don't think it's unreasonable to question if religion is taking a backseat to his feelings for the woman. So, PCG has not said an abominable thing. Yes, we ALL know of exceptions of Muslim parents with messed up kids and non-Muslim parents whose kids find Islam. That's fine. But when a person has to make a life-decision, they have to see if they want to follow a route that maximizes their chances or take the path that may be more challenging and hope to become one of the positive exceptions. What PCG has said is not such an incredulous thing. It's a reasonable question to ponder upon. Seriously. Yes, seriously, Aaze. What you see as a gross and perhaps repugnant generalization.......I see it as a serious matter to reflect over.

Actually let's put the issue of marriage aside. Nobody likes to be accused of not caring about their religion. But there have been many times where many of us have skipped a prayer or few to watch a movie or hang out with friends or catch some more zzzz's, etc etc. Did the namaz not take a backseat to the worldly pleasures? It sure did. You may care about religion on the whole and believe in it with all your heart, but at that moment Allah's command and a fard obligation wasn't your top-most priority...it took a backseat to something else. So, why not be honest and apply the same principle to marriage.....which may be a bigger deal than salah....because it will impact your aanay waali nasal.

Sometimes it's like rather than take the time out to ponder over a person's angle....us k galay par jaatay hai ...even in Ramzan. Wow.

[KKF]

Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt

^ ganging up on someone is not appreciable, ramadhaan or no ramadhaan.

[shaasavera]

Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt

I think lot of guys are meeting people not only in class, through social activities/societies but also online on their own.
I'd say on GS there are lot of great guys with good qualities which may otherwise be hidden in real life. Sure online there are chances to come across creepy type guys on any site but the most progressive, open minded desi guy i chatted to was on GS.

[redvelvet]

Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt

.

[shaasavera]

Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt

Just be positive and open to appropriate possibilities.

So I went on this page and I see a lot of open minded young Pakistani people. Now they may not be searching rishtas but it just shows that people with similar views don’t have to live in the same country. Sometimes people who live abroad (Pakistan, UK, europe etc) may have more in common with us then we think and not all may be coming abroad for a green card etc

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?..1882654&type=1

I found these images to be particularly worthy to post because they show guys in Pakistan with diverse views. Maybe they too have a rishta profile somewhere

[Maula_Jatt]

....

[redvelvet]

Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt

Maula Jatt,

I did not read all of PCG's posts in this thread. I have read several of her posts in the past where she's made sweeping generalizations, so I'm not unaware of it. I addressed only one post in this thread because I could see that she has a point. I wouldn't say that it means one has no care/regard for their religion at all, but I do feel that one needs to question/reflect upon their priorities.

Also, my response to Aaza was still civil. I ended on a sarcastic note, which I admit to and I can see how the galay par jaanay wala comment may be perceived harshly...actually it is harsh. But I certainly didn't call anyone a hypocrite. Despite it being within all of us to make contradictions in our beliefs, I did not call anyone a hypocrite. Apart from the two exceptions I've mentioned, my post was overall a respectful one and did not warrant such a insulting response from you.

[Ethan_Hunt]

Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt

you people clearly have a lot of time on your hands.

[Theorist]

Re: Boys profiles : rishta hunt

@Maula_Jatt:

Look who is talking about insults and sweeping generalizations! I want to laugh but I can’t. -___-
I am really puzzled at your inability to spot hypocrisy in your own posts. Your posts have less substance and more insults, judging, and assumptions about the women you are replying to. From their personalities to their life to even their intelligence. You spare none! Have some decency. You sound like the kind of women you seem to hate.