Re: Boys Getting Married Young
**why should men provide for their family? isn't the girls working and going to college earning money? Why can't they pitch in?
Or do are we going back to the 'islamic' and 'traditional' role for a man to be the provider.........**but the women to be free of any responsibility.........just because its convenient in this case?
Err the early posts were mentioning the religious requirements..
Re: Boys Getting Married Young
If only Allah can save you from zina, then the timing of your marriage should not matter?
Re: Boys Getting Married Young
Good parenting prevents Zina, not getting young men married off an an age when they cannot afford to provide for their family.
Once a family friend of ours was telling my parents why he got his 23 yr old son married before he sent him to US. "Bahar jaanay say pehle bachon ki shaadi zaroor kar deni chahiye, udhar mahol boht kharab hai, zina waghera say bachta hai"
And I thought to myself that this mediocre looking scrawny dork couldn't get a gf in Pakistan to save his life (let alone get laid); wahan ja kay kausna teer mar lay ga!
sigh wishful thinking of desi parents. They think gori's would be lined up there to spoil their sons.
Re: Boys Getting Married Young
^ lmao
We have a family friend, now they're both old, but wife is gori and guy is Pakistani. She makes fun of him saying that when he got off the plane, he was so excited looking around, expecting to get mauled by gori larkian, and then to his dismay found that no one talked to him.
Re: Boys Getting Married Young
Once a family friend of ours was telling my parents why he got his 23 yr old son married before he sent him to US. "Bahar jaanay say pehle bachon ki shaadi zaroor kar deni chahiye, udhar mahol boht kharab hai, zina waghera say bachta hai"
And I thought to myself that this mediocre looking scrawny dork couldn't get a gf in Pakistan to save his life (let alone get laid); wahan ja kay kausna teer mar lay ga!
sigh wishful thinking of desi parents. They think gori's would be lined up there to spoil their sons.
Are you really that naive. Pakistan and USA are worlds apart when it comes to dating and being able to get laid without marriage. Now this doesn't mean he'd be pulling girls left and right. But he does have potential doesn't he? He made it to college after all. Does that not make up for the scrawnyness?
That said, how will having a wife in Pakistan prevent zina. He'd still be alone over there. He'd still be vulnerable to the cultural influences in the US. What if he finds somebody there and divorces the wife back home. It is kinda stupid. You don't know how US is going to affect him until he gets there.
Re: Boys Getting Married Young
If only Allah can save you from zina, then the timing of your marriage should not matter?
I'm not advocating early marriages. I said ppl should marry when they wanna marry. It shouldnt be a problem whether they do it to avoid zina or not.
But yes, of course. when you put it that way. Adultery happens all the time. That is also zina.
Re: Boys Getting Married Young
^ lmao
We have a family friend, now they're both old, but wife is gori and guy is Pakistani. She makes fun of him saying that when he got off the plane, he was so excited looking around, expecting to get mauled by gori larkian, and then to his dismay found that no one talked to him.
Of course you gotta have game, a plan and low standards. You just practice and work your way up. Just guessing here, success not guaranteed.
Re: Boys Getting Married Young
Saeed, tell us about your game with the gori larkian of America. listening intently
Re: Boys Getting Married Young
Are you really that naive.** Pakistan and USA are worlds apart when it comes to dating and being able to get laid** without marriage. Now this doesn't mean he'd be pulling girls left and right. But he does have potential doesn't he? He made it to college after all. Does that not make up for the scrawnyness?
That said, how will having a wife in Pakistan prevent zina. He'd still be alone over there. He'd still be vulnerable to the cultural influences in the US. What if he finds somebody there and divorces the wife back home. It is kinda stupid. You don't know how US is going to affect him until he gets there.
If a guy is attractive enough to, say, pick up women in bars and clubs in the US; he can also get laid in Pakistan.
Re: Boys Getting Married Young
I don't think the American dating culture is for me. If I did think it was for me, my game would be hitting on everything that moves. Does not matter if she's a 1 or a 10. You can't lose as long as you use protection and avoid getting attached to girls. You're eventually gonna develop a better game or will just settle down.
And you don't have to go after just goris, there are other races too. If sleeping around is all you're after, finding girls shouldn't be tough.
Re: Boys Getting Married Young
If a guy is attractive enough to, say, pick up women in bars and clubs in the US; he can also get laid in Pakistan.
O so the cultural differences matter for nothing. Picking women at bars isn't about being attractive; it's about confidence and going for easy targets.
Re: Boys Getting Married Young
I don't think the American dating culture is for me. If I did think it was for me, my game would be hitting on everything that moves. Does not matter if she's a 1 or a 10. You can't lose as long as you use protection and avoid getting attached to girls. You're eventually gonna develop a better game or will just settle down.
And you don't have to go after just goris, there are other races too. If sleeping around is all you're after, finding girls shouldn't be tough.
:o
Woah
Re: Boys Getting Married Young
Once a family friend of ours was telling my parents why he got his 23 yr old son married before he sent him to US. "Bahar jaanay say pehle bachon ki shaadi zaroor kar deni chahiye, udhar mahol boht kharab hai, zina waghera say bachta hai"
And I thought to myself that this mediocre looking scrawny dork couldn't get a gf in Pakistan to save his life (let alone get laid); wahan ja kay kausna teer mar lay ga!
sigh wishful thinking of desi parents. They think gori's would be lined up there to spoil their sons.
I totally agree. Don't know why desi parents have this over inflated image of their sons. Sure there are some charming and suave type like Imran Khan but the average, scrawny guy who does not talk to girls will not get looked at. Then desi guys complain white girls discriminate. Not really they just expect even white guys to hold a decent conversation, intellectually spar with them, to be interested in more than just their appearance, to not treat them like they are easy and show them you are more than just your identity of Pakistani. The ones with quality don't just have easy low standards or are not easy as popular stereotype goes. That is so disrespectful. The white girls I know are intelligent, caring and as professionals they have high standards.
Re: Boys Getting Married Young
If a guy is attractive enough to, say, pick up women in bars and clubs in the US; he can also get laid in Pakistan.
I agree if someone is attractive in US he will also be able to adjust himself in Pakistan if that is what he is after.
Re: Boys Getting Married Young
O so the cultural differences matter for nothing. Picking women at bars isn't about being attractive; it's about confidence and going for easy targets.
True but Pakistani society isn't that perfect either. Everything happens there it is just more underground and less open. I agree about confidence and going for "easy" people if that is what one is after. I doubt anyone here is after something like that though. There are many in the US who are also not after that they want to find a high quality relationship from dating
Re: Boys Getting Married Young
:o
Woah
Woah what? I didn't say I do this. I just said it can be done. Heck I'm considering bringing a girl over from Pakistan, it'd save me so much trouble. I won't have to think about all this no more.
This particular outlook does seem to be pretty popular opinion over here. Everything is okay until you get married. Or people just pretend that's how they roll. Am I being naive, probably. But I wouldn't get in trouble for trying this here, as long as I am smart enough to take a hint and move on when a girl is not interested.
The same can't be said for Pakistan. The dating culture in Pakistan is pretty hush hush, what if her brothers or dad find out. It's just a different culture.
Re: Boys Getting Married Young
Preventing Zina is not the most important reason to get married early. As MH mentioned earlier good parenting will do that too ... But getting ones offspring married early when one has done nothing to prepare them for responsibility that would be a mistake ... Prepare your kids to take responsibility early and then get them married early - you will have a better combination inshaAllah.
Getting offspring married early will focus them, increase your household's generation rate, strengthening them and you, optimises the gene pool, allows parents to be more youthful for their children and thing like that.
Re: Boys Getting Married Young
Uzair didn’t say anything about quality 
. I said easy because I assume a guy from Pakistan would have less experience when it comes to dating ( whatever you wanna call it ). So they’d need to practice their game on girls that are not that intimidating. Once they’ve learnt how things are done here, they can move up to the quality girls.
I hate it when people say Pakistani society isn’t perfect. I’m not talking about perfection. I’m saying dating is considered abnormal in Pakistan, whereas it is considered normal here. Middle class Pakistanis don’t date and even if they do they rarely get to sleep with each other until they get married. Is that difference not huge.
Re: Boys Getting Married Young
I totally agree. Don't know why desi parents have this over inflated image of their sons. Sure there are some charming and suave type like Imran Khan but the average, scrawny guy who does not talk to girls will not get looked at. Then desi guys complain white girls discriminate. Not really they just expect even white guys to hold a decent conversation, intellectually spar with them, to be interested in more than just their appearance, to not treat them like they are easy and show them you are more than just your identity of Pakistani. The ones with quality don't just have easy low standards or are not easy as popular stereotype goes. That is so disrespectful. The white girls I know are intelligent, caring and as professionals they have high standards.
Pakistani guys aren't really that bad. For a girl looking to settle down a guy fresh from Pakistan might seem like the perfect catch. He's got no family here, he has never been in a relationship before so he has no expectations, he's easy to please because he never got any attention from girls back home. Even if a girls talks to that poor fellow, it'd make his day. To top all of that he's going to college, so he has potential.
It might not be the best deal for the guy, but at least he got a girlfriend.
And what's with all the white girl talk. Don't you guys have other races where you live at.
Re: Boys Getting Married Young
I don't think the American dating culture is for me. If I did think it was for me, my game would be hitting on everything that moves. Does not matter if she's a 1 or a 10. You can't lose as long as you use protection and avoid getting attached to girls. You're eventually gonna develop a better game or will just settle down.
And you don't have to go after just goris, there are other races too. If sleeping around is all you're after, finding girls shouldn't be tough.
I agree there are other races as well not just goris but since they were specificially mentioned and they are the majority in most Western country i mentioned them. No one should go after a particular race but more after the other qualities.
I just think like arranged marriage culture American dating culture is not homogenous. It depends on the race of people involved in US, the type of place a date occurs (cinema/restaurant/film or literary festival vs seedy bar/club) and the values of people involved. I know lots of conservative white people or religious ones who have values similar to many desis. There are lots of conservative white american and religious ones. For them american dating culture would be different. It is probably different in Utah, Alabama or Tennesse compared to California.
Everyone is different and i am sure for some people dating culture is not about finding someone easy to sleep with. It's not about hitting on anything that move. If someone dates with that as their purpose then they should try other avenues. I think it is important to respect any person you go on date with and make sure that even if it doesn't mutually work out you left them better than you found them. They shouldn't feel like they lost something being with you. I dislike the double standard where some guys who have dated look down on
For any quality guy dating should be about getting to know a girl, seeing if their is compatibility in thought and knowing how to talk and make conversations with a girl. Getting to know her as a person. There does not have to be any physical involved.