Boys and girls playing together

Lifestyle Parenting, Household Affairs and Cuisine corner
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Re: Boys and girls playing together

niksik - we also have the bollywood type 6 year old boy that scares all the fathers

But seriously from a personal experience - it's all right for girls to have some exposure to boys. The more you try to restrict them - the more curious they are about the opposite sex.

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Personally I would like to be around my daughters and if I dun like/approve of something, I would let them know as soon as they start understanding that mommy means it! I wont have a problem with girls and boys playing together as long as I can supervise them.. I would prefer my girls to be comfortable around boys so they can speak and stand up for themselves in mixed gatherings or co education but I dun think I would allow any hugging or kissing. oh well, I am not a parent yet so I dunno how these things work but my friends think I will keep my children in a bubble and they would knock from inside asking,"mommy can we come out" and I would say no outside world is no good :D

and by the way, this is totally offtopic but I tried your alloo bhujia recipe from facebook and it turned out super yummy.. thanks soo much for sharing :-)

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Re: Boys and girls playing together

Sara and her recipes. That girl is a chef in the making.

But yes, I do agree, you don't want to completely isolate your kids. The best thing is to educate them so they can make good decisions.

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Re: Boys and girls playing together

This thread is so interesting, reading different perspectives from parents of girls and boys. I don't have anything to add, I think it's important to teach your kids right from wrong so they can interact together appropriately. When they're young it isn't such a problem but the teenage years are another story....

Now where is Sara's aloo bhujia recipe? I'd like to try it :D

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Re: Boys and girls playing together

my daugther is 3 and I get uncomfortable as she is the gentle type, will get uncomfortable with too much closeness, just yesterday she wanted to hug her Kindergarten friend goodbye, where as he wanted to give her kisses!! lol i freaked out, i told her to come to me as its time to go home. the other mom told her son to stop it, thank god.

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that's the whole idea man....lol

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I HATE HATE it when boys, whatever age take out their thing and start peeing, i have seen a boy with whom my daughter plays with do it, i am allways there, the mom was so proud that the boy is doing it on its own, where as i was feeling so yuck as even once my daughter was looking at him, while he was peeing, then she wanted to pee like a boy at home!! :smack: I told her u are a girl and u have to pee while sitting.

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Re: Boys and girls playing together

TLK, just another thought. When you allow your girls to mix with the opposite sex I think it makes them more comfortable and stronger when they become adults. Its tougher and more stressful to raise them this way since you have to put so much time into teaching your girls how to react in the best way to things like overly affectionate boys, boys who have no modesty when using the bathroom etc. It takes much effort and I'm sure it must be very stressful! But in the end, your daughters will be strong women, able to handle themselves in any situation, any career.

The younger years are tough with girls I'm sure!! But by keeping a vigilant eye on all they do, you'll be able to guide them and teach them the best ways to respond and react. It sounds like they're well on their way to being all they can be!!

saadi tankhaw badhao
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The martial arts thingy is actually back firing on us because my daughter did a kick and punch that went her sister flying. She also was teaching her grandma how to kick grandpa. :bummer: and ofcourse according to her you can’t do karate without your karate pajamas (attire is very important)

And guess what the ratio of the girls are in her karate class - 8 boys 2 girls.

No seriously - I think it is great for all the reasons that mama said. I think any type of sport will do that.

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I have boys as well, and the oldest is three, so I haven't even been thinking about this issue , but I guess I will be more careful as they grow up.
I don't think they even fully understand this whole concept of girls and boys yet, they can be more aware at 7, especially girls ( as I have a niece whose 7 and she's a total chalako-maasi). I agree with MO3 as well , girls are more aware of this difference than boys, they also mature sooner.
I don't think it's a good idea to try and isolate your kids so soon , and you don't have to worry , as soon as they hit their pre-teens, they'll automatically stay away from boys.
The pre-school that my son goes to encourages kids to ASK if they can hug or kiss you, and if they're told "no" , they stop.I think that's a good way to go.

btw this may be totally off-topic , but from what I have seen while growing up in a very conservative society, the stricter the parents were, the sneakier the girls turned out.They would be the most manipulative girls in our class , and would find really clever ways of going arounnd their parents backs. So...I guess you just need to relax :)

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I used to notice that as well. Parents need a balance.

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Re: Boys and girls playing together

I think the issue got mixed up again. I am not saying that I want to protect my daughters from boys. Older one is going to a normal public school that has both boys and girls in her class.

Because I dont have any son, I am asking the parents if they educate the boys same way about not to get too close to the girls as I teach my girls the same thing about boys.

And I dont believe that boys of younger than 7 dont know the difference between boys and girls. I have seen more boys of same age as my daughters, trying to hug and kiss my daughters than the girl frinds of same age of my daughtres.

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Re: Boys and girls playing together

There's a difference between being able to comfortably communicate with the opposite gender and unnecessary communication. As a parent there has to be a sensible way of making your child understand the differences. I think it is very important to watch the physicial interaction in little kids. Another example: there's this very nice 8 year old who comes to the Islamic school where my girls go as well. The cut off age for boys at the school is 8 and after that it's all girls. So this 8 year old loves to keep my 3 year old in his lap. Initially I didn't care because he's a real sweet child, extremely respectful and polite. However, I realized that he was getting obsessed with having her sit on his lap and one of the other teachers pointed out that I should get my girl off because he could be getting some kind of hidden pleasure, innocently.

That I think is unnecessary physicial interaction. So where does it start and stop? Why do it at all. I don't mind my girls playing with sons of our family friends under supervision, but I do not allow playdates with a boy. My daughters go to public school so I think the amount of interactation they need to develop a healthy communication is enough. At the end of the day, it is a parents responsibility to guide their children in the most appropriate fashion according to our religious requirements. The rebellions that we talk of come when there is a conflict of what's being taught and the actions.

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Re: Boys and girls playing together

TLK, I surely do educate and guide my boyz, teach them how to treat girls and each other. I had SUCH a nice complement from my middle sons teacher, there was a girl in his class who was scared of boys. So she had my boy play with her and now they're good friends and the girl overccame her fear of boys to a good degree.

But you're SO right to be concerned and watchful. The most popular kid in my middle son's class is the kid who educated my son ALLLL about where babies come from, he is fascinated with bathroom humor and his johnson is his favorite toy. Needless to say, parents of boys have to be really just as watchful as parents of gals....and my son no longer plays with that kid. But I didnt want to just plain tell him "no you can no longer play with him"....rather, I taught my son that this kids behavior was bad, it was a bad influence on him (my son) and its so much better to play with good kids. It was a really stressful time though, I had no control over what this kid was telling my son. But in the end, my son agreed that he isnt a good friend and so chose to seek friendship elsewhere. It came down to my son being sent to the principals office one day for giving in to this kid and his bad influence. That was the turning point...and it was SO hard to let him make his own mistakes, he was SOOOO upset about being sent to the office (he asked me "mama, am I going to be on the News tonight?"

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Why everyone sound so paranoid?

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Honestly , I don’t know.Maybe we’re not at that stage yet.
Right now all I teach him is to be gentle with every kid he’s playing with..

But I guess you would have to be more …um…watchful (for the lack of a better word) with girls.

Are you talking about your younger daughter? lol
See , I seriously think a 3 year old would hug any one if they feel like it , whether it’s a boy or a girl.That’s why I like the idea of making them ask first , if they want to kiss or hug any one else other than their parents.

But your a father of 2 daughters , and it’s very cute that you feel THIS protective :hehe:

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Because even little boys and girls like to experiment - good idea to be vigilent.

But to TLK original question - Typical fathers are definately more protective of girls and they would just laugh off incidents with boys. With girls it's not so funny.

I don't have boys either but there was certainly a difference in how we were told to act and how leinient my parents were with my brother.

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Re: Boys and girls playing together

Yes I dont think its paranoia cause you want to teach your kids from the youngest age possible to be good citizens, to be polite and well behaved in any situation and in any company. Kids dont know...they need to learn and be taught. They can stray SO easily that its really scary.

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:k: :k:

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I agree, Boys will be Boys could be a laughing conclusion for the father of boys, but its not funny for the father of girls.