[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by lussi: *
well then what good are the rules if they cannot be followed?
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It works like speed limits on roads. You should follow them, but most of the time you don't.
ok using that analogy..then why have unrealistic speed limits that no one can follow?
The restraints aren't unrealistic. All you need to do is want to follow them and you can any time you wish.
Alternatively, you have the free will to go beyond the limit, but you're aware that there may be consequences later on... it's not a risk-free proposition.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by lussi: *
well then what good are the rules if they cannot be followed?
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ofcourse they can be followed...just coz you and i dont doesnt mean they cant be. my point is Islam is a perfect religion and has given us these rules...but who among us is a perfect Muslim? but atleast we should keep these rules in mind and try to adhere to them as much as possible...i mean, atleast we should know what is right and what is wrong and even if we don't follow the rules we should have enough honesty to atleast admit our faults and acknowledge what the correct path is...
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*Originally posted by mAd_ScIeNtIsT: *
The restraints aren't unrealistic. All you need to do is want to follow them and you can any time you wish.
Alternatively, you have the free will to go beyond the limit, but you're aware that there may be consequences later on... it's not a risk-free proposition.
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Interesting analogy. :-)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by lussi: *
well then what good are the rules if they cannot be followed?
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that's the best part about rules, breaking em ;)
Pyaari do you fancy every guy you talk to? Or do you suppose that every guy you talk to (or could potentially talk to) would find you attractive?
I have many male friends, non of whom I find vaguely attractive. And no they are not ugly nor very short.
Depends how you've been brought up I supose. i.e. I think of my male friends more as my sisters than I think of my male cousins as my brothers.
sisters? 
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by hiccup: *
Pyaari do you fancy every guy you talk to? Or do you suppose that every guy you talk to (or could potentially talk to) would find you attractive?
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No I do not fancy every guy I talk to....first of all I don't talk to many guys...I try not to get too friendly with them because I don't feel very comfortable...although sometimes I find its better to have a guys opinion on some subject matters than girls...because girls in general seem to be the gossip type or some even tend to have a lot of jealousy. I opened this thread because some of my friends or people that I have known in the past have had this type of problem. Like a guy and girl become friends...they are bro/sis in Islam and even call each other bhai or baji....and 3 months later I find out they like each other. So this is why I try to limit my talking to guys and personall I don't find the need to talk to very many guys about personal issues or other various topics...
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*Originally posted by Pyaari83: *
a girl and a guy can be friends but once you share all your secrets and talk for hours at a time doesn't that usually lead to more than just friendship?
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A lot of girls do that with their female friends. It doesn't particularly mean that ghanton batain karna and sharing everything is something more than dosti. Sometimes it's just what you think and you could be wrong and sometimes it's love. But yeah...i think it depends on your mentality. A guy and a girl can be friends, yes.
^ right on :k:
After Shikra, it relates to me too. So I’ll answer as well.
Firstly, I get to hear from guys (a lot) that girls get too serious in relationships and dosti and other stuff. But whatever I’ve gone through in my past life I think most guys are like that as well.
Same thing happened with me. This guy i knew, who was my sister’s class mate and her bro-friend got serious about me. First I tried to ignore his feelings and then later I didn’t contact him at all so that he’d understand…although I did tell him what i felt coz we were friends too. Anyhow he still called me back after an year I think telling me that he wants to see my parents. I got mad and told him to put the phone down and write me an email about everything coz everyone was home and I didn’t want to talk to him. Well after so many months he finally got my point and told me that he won’t bother me again. Trust me, it was really hard to make him understand that I can’t marry him coz I already like someone else, which is a good enough reason.
So, the point is that dosti is quite possible but once one of the two gets serious, it’s really hard to handle the situation. So yeah, keeping some distance does play a big role.
:k:
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People who exclaim that it's not allowed in Islam. Well ehlaaq bhi koi cheez hoti hai. I mean, if someone is na-mehram and he tries to talk to you about some important things or feels like sharing something, can you go right on his face that "oh I'm sorry, you're na mehram I can't talk to you" ??
I also have an example here: You all might've heard/read about this old lady who used to throw trash at Mohammad (saw) right? Well, she used to do it everyday and Mohammad(saw) wouldn't mind anything...smile and just walk away. One day when she didn't do anything...he (saw) got worried and went upstairs to see what really had happened. Now...the thing is that he got worried..which means he cared. Does that mean he (saw) fell for the lady or something? She was na-mehram...wasn't she? Now most of you do think that when you start caring for someone and tell them everything and all that stuff always leads to love. Being friends with someone is just a part of your good ehlaaq and yes that does include sharing stuff. What's so wrong about it? Yeh aur baat hai when you cross certain limits, which is a differen't matter. But if someone is comfortable enough to share their stuff with you or you're comfortable enough to share yours with them, what is so bad in doing that? Again it depends on your zehniyat. If one of you has ghatiya brain and keep thinking that oh he shares everything because he's falling for me blah blah then that's your thinking but it's not meant to happen in every relationship.
My point here is that kuch cheezain tab tak buri nahi hoti jab tak woh aap ko ghalt rastay pe nahi daal deti hai. Now for example; you watch the movies and see all the half naked women running around. If you love the dress (no matter how it looks and doesn't cover your whole body) and want to get the same one and wear it out, that would be bad and not allowed in Islam. If you watch the movie and just take the story morally (that is IF it teaches some lesson) then it's good in a way. If you just watch it to pass some time and not be influenced by anything or other stuff well then...what are you worrying about? What bad have you done? It's just like how all those mullahs keep saying tv shouldn't be allowed...it's haram and blah blah. When the television is used for something educational (no matter what it is) along with islamic stuff then why is that bad? It depends how you use it and what you use it for. That is where the difference lies. You can't just stand up and say something is haram.
(this doesn't mean you pick on the fact that watching movies is haram too...it was just an example. I'm sure all of you watch movies)
destinee what do you think about nudist camps?
Destinee you have a really good point. I think that sometimes when a guy and a girl become friends they don't have self control....but that is not the case for everyone...some people can handle their emotions. I am not saying that I am an angel and don't talk to guys at all...Its almost impossible to go about on a daily basis and not talk with the opposite gender...school, work, etc...
This debate is really interesting and everyone's opinions are good. I just wanted to know what people thought about this subject because I see so many people in this situation.
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*Originally posted by ravage: *
destinee what do you think about nudist camps?
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As I said, I was just giving examples. And my points don't apply in every single crap out there. As about nudist camps...it's pretty much straight forward, and you know if it's good or bad to go for it.
unless you can explain why your reasoning applies to movies and not nudist camps i dont think you really have a point.
nevertheless, from a religious perspective, which was what you were addressing, things do have inherent good and bad value in addition to what your intention is when doing them.
i am having trouble understanding y one side ends up likeing the other while the other side wont. its so rubish 
^ aww im sure they like u too... maybe just not in the way u want them too
its all for the best. Leave it up to Allah Mian :) He knows what He's doing