Boy and Girl Friendship....can you stay true friends or does it become love?

kabhi eik larkha aur larkhi doost ban sakthay hai? Chahay wo ajnabee ho ya cousin… This is my question…(for non-urdu ppl: can a guy and girl ever be friends)…Doesn’t friendship in most cases lead to other things, such as love…especially at a certain age and for people who do not date as our religion has prohibited.

Salaam Pyaari.
Yea i think that a boy and a girl can be friends but
u have to know ur limits.
And yes sometimes it happends that u can fall in love wid ur friend
lekin yeh zaroori nahi hai.

N.

no, girls and boys can only be enemies....
there is nothing but animosity between the two - that is how it was from day zero and that is how it shall be when humanity comes to its end....

Hmm… aapke saath aise hongey na armughal :rotfl: :stuck_out_tongue:

a girl and a guy can be friends but once you share all your secrets and talk for hours at a time doesn't that usually lead to more than just friendship?

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*Originally posted by Pyaari83: *
a girl and a guy can be friends but once you share all your secrets and talk for hours at a time doesn't that usually lead to more than just friendship?
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Could be but it is not neccasary that it happens
it depends i think how u look up to him.

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Pyaari83: *
a girl and a guy can be friends but once you share all your secrets and talk for hours at a time doesn't that usually lead to more than just friendship?
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No I dont think so ..sometimes we talk with our gfs for like hours and share all secrets too .. thats what friends are for :)

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Pyaari83: *
a girl and a guy can be friends but once you share all your secrets and talk for hours at a time doesn't that usually lead to more than just friendship?
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yes

NO

unless they maintain a serious distance they can't be "jus friends"

they can talk about formal stuff like classes or office work but not start discussing their personal stuff with each other or interact too much

and btw, in Islam there's no concept of having friends from the opposite gender

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by irem: *
NO

unless they maintain a serious distance they can't be "jus friends"

they can talk about formal stuff like classes or office work but not start discussing their personal stuff with each other or interact too much

and btw, in Islam there's no concept of having friends from the opposite gender
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So how far do u think ur relationship with ur cousins can go (as far as opposite gender goes)? Talk online, hang out with one another, or be conservative (just talk to each other in front of the whole family, if that)?

There is nothing like friendship IMO b/w boy and Girl ... I mean I always thought that The Guys who have friendships with girls are Kindaaa Gay . . .. I mean for example you have some official business with the girl like in offices then that is fine ... Its a bull crap that one stranger can be a friend of an opposite sex stranger ....
Ligitimate Know how or Itsi Bitsis are not called the friend ships ......
I mean I never had any girl who was my true friend ...

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Pyaari83: *

So how far do u think ur relationship with ur cousins can go (as far as opposite gender goes)? Talk online, hang out with one another, or be conservative (just talk to each other in front of the whole family, if that)?
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i think

talking in front of family or going out in a big family group which has atleast one or two elders in it is okay.

as for talking in person, online or on the phone: i dont think thats right unless u keep ur convo formal and dont joke around or be too friendly or discuss personal stuff

[not saying i never done all this, in fact i was quite free with some of my cousins, but at the end of the day i dont think its right]

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by irem: *

i think

talking in front of family or going out in a big family group which has atleast one or two elders in it is okay.

as for talking in person, online or on the phone: i dont think thats right unless u keep ur convo formal and dont joke around or be too friendly or discuss personal stuff

[not saying i never done all this, in fact i was quite free with some of my cousins, but at the end of the day i dont think its right]
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Glad to know I am not the only somewhat conservative person...;)
But I was just curious about other people's opinion on this subject matter because you see this happening so much with the younger generation that sometimes I feel its getting out of control even though some people may not want it that way...

Maybe someone else has already brought this up, but I'm sure most of you know that there is no such thing as a "friendship" between men and women in Islam. Friendships (at least in my case) can lead to somewhat inappropriate feelings, and if they're not reciprocated there's a lot of hurt and pain there.

THat doesn't mean you have to be rude to every guy (or girl) who tries to talk to you, but you should maintain your distance.

Me personally I'm not close with any guy. If i hang out with any of them, it's with a group of girls and the girls end up outnumbering guys. Online, I'll say Salaam to someone I havne't spoken to for a while, but that's about it. And I'm not very comfortable talking on the phone with anyone--guy or girl. I'd rather speak face to face or online

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Pyaari83: *

Glad to know I am not the only somewhat conservative person...;)
But I was just curious about other people's opinion on this subject matter because you see this happening so much with the younger generation that sometimes I feel its getting out of control even though some people may not want it that way...
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All the girls I know who are friends with guys consider them like brothers, so I guess that helps them keep their distance, so to speak??

Uh, well, if the guy is speaking to you for hours on end - that means something usually. Guys usually dont waste their time on just any girl - although of course, there are exceptions.

I have lots of friends who are boys. Never really had problems with them. In fact, if I ever developed a crush for one of them, I'd just tell them. And then the moment I told them, I'd realize what a stupid idea it was - we'd both laugh and move on.

shrugs

Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes!

A girl and a boy can be friends, love doesn't jump in in every situation. I have some good female friends although some of them like me in the other way, but still, I consider them nothing more than friends. A guy jo har larki par dil dey bethey or vice versa, there's something wrong with that person.

Very intresting debate going on. I can assure you people that you are helping alot of teenagers.

I believe that if you want to have some sort of friendship with opposite gender people, than yes, keep some distance and dont start sharing your personal matters/secrects with him/her. And dont start chatting or talking on phone for hours. That will automatically urge you to think that ohh man…I am sharing this and that with her/him and she/he is so nice and polite (usually girls are too polite on phone/net that something starts happening in heart…:confused: ).

And a good advice to girls…don`t talk tooooooo politely…for the sake of people with kamzoor dills like me…:frowning:

And the other good thing you can do is to use “bhai”. that stops from thinking in that “frame of mind”…:blush:

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by PyariCgudia: *
Uh, well, if the guy is speaking to you for hours on end - that means something usually. Guys usually dont waste their time on just any girl - although of course, there are exceptions.

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ah yes i was the unfortunate "exception"

Yes they can. Tried and true. In my case it applies very easily. Love/physical attraction/sexual attraction and the concepts as defined in this thread are just the mis-givings of an over-active mind which has seen too many Bollywood movies.