no no i think its totally normal for one person to develop feelings for there friend, but i say its messed up cuz if the other person doesnt feel the same way u lose a freind (cuz they act diff afterwards) and u also lost the hope that that person feels the same way
:) hmm well if they're mature about it, hopefully they wont lose the friendship.. maybe it'll be more solid than before after being able to discuss such a sensitive topic..
it depends on age and level or maturity... it can be dealt with in a sensitive manner
Re: Boy and Girl Friendship....can you stay true friends or does it become love?
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*Originally posted by Pyaari83: *
kabhi eik larkha aur larkhi doost ban sakthay hai? Chahay wo ajnabee ho ya cousin... This is my question...(for non-urdu ppl: can a guy and girl ever be friends)...Doesn't friendship in most cases lead to other things, such as love...especially at a certain age and for people who do not date as our religion has prohibited.
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aik na mehram larkee aur aik na mehram larkay k durmaiN jo teesra hota hay woh SHIATAN hay...yeh haqeeqat hay ab iss ko chahye jo rung day dalaiN zamanay walay......BUT it is a fact....besides DOSTI Shuru hee muhabbat say hotee hay , app kisi aisay shuks say dostin nahi kertay jis say aap ko nafrat ho......ab pata nahi log Muhabbat ko physical relationship say confuse Kyon kertay hain....aur haqeeqat main muhabbat k baraye main jo misconception haiN woh sirf issi confusion kee waja say hee hay.........
(edited)
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*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
^ i hope u mean that khoobsoorti is way more than just ur physical appearance.. is that what ur trying to say?
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:( ji kuch aesa hee hay
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*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
ok... just one question..
is it really wrong that one persno (be it the girl or guy) develops feelings for the other? we're all human... if the two of them get along well, why is it so wrong for one (or both) to develop feelings..
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AGAIn the question is abt pure feelings......nuthing is wrong as far as purity is there...BUT again kia hum itnay pure ho saktay hain...aik general baat hay.....
yeah its possible to have pure feelings :k:
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
:) hmm well if they're mature about it, hopefully they wont lose the friendship.. maybe it'll be more solid than before after being able to discuss such a sensitive topic..
it depends on age and level or maturity... it can be dealt with in a sensitive manner
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maturity isnt the main concern i guess......MAsla yeh hay k aik shaks jo after exclaiming his/her feelings to the other Invests the most precious thing he/she have ....ab jub dossra fareeq ussay saaf saaf inkaar ker day to kia aik AMM(common, in general) admi k liye yeh berdasht ker aasaan ho ga ??? aur kia woh Muhabbat k switch ko On and off ker sakta hay itni aasaani say....maturity k saath saath toa ANA bhee aa jatee hay insaan main and in cases main seedhay ANA per zurb lagtee hay/.......so jo log yeh claim kertay hain k day still r good frnds after dis all messup toa woh JHOOT bol rahe hotay hain..........again AIK general baat hay
Pure feelings ka maltalab selflessness isnt it …agar aesa koi hay toa phir woh MALANG HAY :k:
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by show_sha: *
maturity isnt the main concern i guess......MAsla yeh hay k aik shaks jo after exclaiming his/her feelings to the other Invests the most precious thing he/she have ....ab jub dossra fareeq ussay saaf saaf inkaar ker day to kia aik AMM(common, in general) admi k liye yeh berdasht ker aasaan ho ga ??? aur kia woh Muhabbat k switch ko On and off ker sakta hay itni aasaani say....maturity k saath saath toa ANA bhee aa jatee hay insaan main and in cases main seedhay ANA per zurb lagtee hay/.......so jo log yeh claim kertay hain k day still r good frnds after dis all messup toa woh JHOOT bol rahe hotay hain..........again AIK general baat hay
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yehi tho main keh rahi hoon... agar banda anaa ko hatta kar feelings confess kar hi raha then they should respect the other persons feelings.. u cant expect the other person to say "haan" .. gotta think of the worst yeah?
which comes to ur second point about purity.. agar u geniuinely like/love the person conditionless.. then u will continue to be their friends even after they've said no...
if ur intentions for friendship from the beginning were to "get with the person" then yeah, it'd prob be hard to stay friends.... but otherwise, im sure wounds can heal...
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
yehi tho main keh rahi hoon... agar banda anaa ko hatta kar feelings confess kar hi raha then they should respect the other persons feelings.. u cant expect the other person to say "haan" .. gotta think of the worst yeah?
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we always expect the worst but also fancy the best st the same time....besids may keh raha hon k frndshp main jo aik fareeq, the one who had to bear the prejudice in all dis mess up woh kbhee bhee pure nahee ho sakta after that i bet! coz iss say recover kerna her aik kee buss kee baat nahi hotee .....may phir kahon ga we r talking wid a generalised approach not for some one whoz an exception...
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which comes to ur second point about purity.. agar u geniuinely like/love the person conditionless.. then u will continue to be their friends even after they've said no...
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mazeed yeh k ana ko aik taraf rakh jo step lia gaya uss baad jo chot perti hay woh Insaan kokhatam ker deti hay feelings ko to rehnay do....
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
ok... just one question..
is it really wrong that one persno (be it the girl or guy) develops feelings for the other? we're all human... if the two of them get along well, why is it so wrong for one (or both) to develop feelings..
sure platonic relationships are great.. but if one person does eventually start liking the "friend" then why is it called messing it up.. the person should be flattered.
Afterall, dont u wish u end up marrying a person who happens to be ur closest friend? id certainly hope so...
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Yeah, I'd love for that to happen. There's nothing wrong with it if it's mutual.
If it's just one person who feels that way, then no it's not too good, coz it sucks. I don't care how damn flattered he or she is, it doesn't make things any easier.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
:) hmm well if they're mature about it, hopefully they wont lose the friendship.. maybe it'll be more solid than before after being able to discuss such a sensitive topic..
it depends on age and level or maturity... it can be dealt with in a sensitive manner
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But wat if you were hte one who liked the person, and then don't want to be friends with them anymore after knowing ur feelings weren't being returned? Does that make the person immature or insensitive?
^ it does happen :) if u make an effort, things can be good
Sara, again i say, ur really young. Go out and enjoy urself.. who cares if the guy doesnt like u.. dream about someone else.. isnt there some other cute guy at the busstop?
whatever anyone says...the plain truth is its not allowed in our religion...
and only your real brother is your brother. no one else is ur brother. sure, u might think of someone as ur brother but there's no guarantee he thinks of u as his sister, and vice versa. who r we kidding!
as someone pointed out, when there's a girl and guy who r na-mehrams alone [and this includes stuff like msn/fone coz in a way they r "alone"] then the third person with them IS shaitaan...
strictly limiting your interaction to very formal "kaam ki baatein" is okay...and that too preferably shud be done in a public place...but anyting more than that is NOT islamically persmissible...and thats a fact. we can go on denying the truth or making excuses but islamically things have been defined very clearly.
im not saying ive not been in this situation of being friendly with guys, or am never going to be in the future, but im jus trying to explain what i think is right. none of us are perfect Muslims and today's world is full of evils of all kinds. but Islam has made the guidelines crystal clear abt this matter.
Thanks Irem..your reply sums it up VERY well. As my point to begin with eik larkha aur larkhi kabhi dosth nahi ban sakthay! And your only brother is your real brother, not even your cousins. I know a lot of excuses arise once you get in a situation of having a friend of the opposite gender such as oh they are my bro/sis or we just talk about school. Once your attached phir samjo kay pus gay…
Thanks for everyone who replied this is actually a great debate…
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*Originally posted by lussi: *
i would do what shikra has done.
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Oh no! Two men not being pigs! What is the world coming to!?
irem jee, wah jee wah kya insightful reply hai...so do u just hide when u see a na-mehram man
lussi if you read my reply again you will see that i already mentioned that i am not claiming that i follow these rules but it cannot be denied that these are the rules that Islam had laid down for us…
Pyari :k:
well then what good are the rules if they cannot be followed?