It is brothers like these who will be there for you at every turn in your life and will answer immediately your call for help...Who needs apathetic family members? This is nothing more than his love for you...
I understand, living in the west and then being treated like this by your brother may seem claustrophobic...But remember, there are those people in the west who are rude to their parents, don't care about their siblings and are a shame for their families...
Be glad you are not part of such a family...If you listen to the advices of the gora asses in here, you will never realize that your brother is there for you...
However, FF's advice is correct too...He should take his friends to his room if he is so concerned about them seeing you in the house or something and not restrict your movements because of them...It's your house as much as his...Tell him to take his friends out of sight instead of keeping you out of sight...
Impulse, i agree it can be suffocating if he does that a lot. But try to see it from his POV. I agree with whoever said that he is a guy and he knows what kind of mentality some guys can have. He is just trying to be protective of you. Try to find out what his intentions are and i assure you, you wont feel as angry about it :) And unless he does it a lot, like refusing to let you go to work/school etc and mingle with friends, i think you can ignore it.
I think those gora wanna bes and asses have hit hard on his fake pride of hiding his sisters from his friends.
I mean if your friends are so evil who cant even spare your sisters the evil looks, etc, are those worth being ‘friends’ if you are that ‘decent’ of a brother??? Dosti nahi chorni aisay ganday logon say but sisters par rop jamana zaroori hai. Who are they after all?? Typical pakistani desi muslim men :yukh:
I mean if these ‘big brothers’ would not supress their women at home by telling them where to go/not to go, where to stay/not to stay in their own homes. Even being scolded only cz she comes out to ask where they daddy is, how will the outsiders/strange men be able to practise the same on those women? They know their women are supposed to be ‘used to’ that typical ‘jahil desi men’ treatment before they are handed over to someone else to teart them the same way
One thing that I wondered about while I was reading the other posts.......so many people saying that the older brother treats her like this b/c he cares about her, b/c he knows how guys think etc. etc. etc.
*Well, her father and other brother are also men and her family. They don't treat her like this. Does that mean that they don't care about her or don't care about her safety? Does her father, being a man himself, does not know how men think? Does her older brother know what's better for her more than their father do? *
What about her fiance? He's a man too and if they're engaged, I think it's a safe assumption that he cares about her, and wants the best for her since she'll be his future wife. Are you guys saying that her older brother who himself "hasn't been an angel in the past" according to Impulse, knows what's best for her better than her father, 2nd brother, and fiance? That he cares more about her than they do?
Impulse, I might have missed this but you still have not mentioned whether or not you spoke with your father about how your older brother's behavior bother you, and what you father's response to that was. Also, where is your mom in all this? Have you spoken to her about it at all?
*You said that your younger's brother's wife will be coming from Pakistan soon. Isn't your older brother married? He's in his 30's right? If so, does he treat his wife like this too? If he's not married, then why not? After all, you're engaged and your younger brother is already married....so what's holding up the oldest son?? *
*Well, her father and other brother are also men and her family. They don't treat her like this. Does that mean that they don't care about her or don't care about her safety? Does her father, being a man himself, does not know how men think? Does her older brother know what's better for her more than their father do? *
*What about her fiance? *
tell that to the mullah wannabes who think that repression and oppression is the way to show respect and care.
You are right…Just letting go and not caring what the other person does is a surefire way of telling someone how much you care for their well being…
Acts of concern show how much a person loves another person…If disconcern was an act of love then surely, the children abandoned on footsteps would be the most loved of all…
But then, according to you, concern for someone about how one dresses and behaves is construed as oppression and repression…
Acts of concern show how much a person loves another person...If disconcern was an act of love then surely, the children abandoned on footsteps would be the most loved of all...
But then, according to you, concern for someone about how one dresses and behaves is construed as oppression and repression...
It's all about what has influenced you more...
an act of concern would be not be-friending men that are prone to ogle your sister and then bringing them home.
an act of concern would be to set an example for your younger siblings by following an ideal.
doing what u wanted to do when you were young and then hiding your sister is not an act of concern it is a byproduct of the suspicious nature of seeing the "perverted" side of every situation. it IS about what has influenced u more.
Well, by ordering Impulse around the house, the brother is pretty much trying to override the father's authority.
Now I don't know anything about people being "mullsh wannabes", but all this talk about the brother caring about her, and also comments about showing respect for older siblings just got me thinking.....
*How much respect is the brother showing for their FATHER by ordering her around the house as to how to behave? Isn't the father the head of the household? Isn't it upto her father to decide how she should act while living under his roof? She's going to a mixed university so obviously the father and mother don't see anything wrong with her being seen by men or even interacting with men(even strange men!) b/c they trust her and know she won't do or tolerate anything inappropriate. *
*Now if her FATHER, being a man himself, is ok with her being around men....................... when the brother orders her to seclude herself while under the father's roof, how much respect is the brother showing for the father's authority as the head of the household? How much respect is her older brother showing for her father's judgement when it comes to his daughter? *
They are just trying to justify the unreasonable behaviour of these 'big brothers'. Maybe every one has got a brother of this kind in their houses. They do not know how to keep these little extremists at home in place so they are trying to justify their unfair acts only to feel better that it is all done in good taste. IT IS NOT.
Treating your sisters in such jahilana way in NO WAY is a sign of 'care and protecting' her. It is just a way of boasting the 'manliness' on the weak creatures who are actually their sisters.
You are a girl and a liberal minded at that…You can not imagine the concern that a brother has for his sister especially if it’s a younger one…I agree, to you it may be stifling, oppressive, repressive, restrictive and all that jizz that we are told through media…
But then, the media is made up of people who lead a lifestyle free from morality, have children out of wedlock which in most cases happen to be unplanned accidents or mistakes…No doubt, for them a caring brother would be oppressive and repressive…
What would they know of caring and protecting the family? They leave their old parents in nursing homes…
You are a girl and a liberal minded at that...You can not imagine the concern that a brother has for his sister especially if it's a younger one...I agree, to you it may be stifling, oppressive, repressive, restrictive and all that jizz that we are told through media...
But then, the media is made up of people who lead a lifestyle free from morality, have children out of wedlock which in most cases happen to be unplanned accidents or mistakes...No doubt, for them a caring brother would be oppressive and repressive...
I don't follow that ideology...
lajawab read posts by impulse...she mentions he was no angel either. that is how i know.
u seriously need to check on all the assumptions u make. its not jizz jazz we are told by the media. the only person jumping in the tread pointing fingers at us saying we are western influenced liberals is u.
i happen to have a brother. he prays five times and he loves me just as any brother would love his sister. he used to have friends that went clubbing and drank and gradually phased them out of his life because he decided this was not the lifestyle for him. but he has never rubbed his ideals on me. now dont u come up with your mullah rant sitting behind your PC telling me that shows he doesnt care about me. nor do i have to give u examples proving he DOES.
and your ideas on media made up of un-moral people just shows what u are influenced by. its useless to argue with u when u place the entire west into one wicked block. u think that it is impossible to be liberal and care about your brother or sister or mother/father at the same time. May God guide YOU. toodles.
mr la-jawab, it's like this when put very simply -
there's this kind of love and this kind of love.
one is wherein you love the person and believe that whatever you think for them is the best and right for them - thereby trying to impose it on them - without taking their thoughts and feelings into consideration.
the other is wherein you love the person, would do anything so that they stay out of harm's way - but at the same time love them enough to take their thoughts and feelings into consideration, letting them be their own person.
