I have two older brothers…but I find one of them very annoying…the eldest one who is in his 30s. he just acts too possessive and irritates me. I can even go as far as saying hes a control freak. I’ll give some examples by what I mean:
the other day, my 2 bros and father were all outside in the front of the house…doing sometihng with the car. I assumed it was only them 3 there…so I needed to ask dad something…so I opened the door and asked my younger bro where dad is. he said hes round the other side of the house. so i said ok. When i opened the door, i realised it wasnt just my 2 bros there, there was another guy there too who was standing on the side…they were doing sometihng to his car. anyways, all i asked was “where is dad?” after which i closed the door and came inside. later on i found dad, and by that time the other guy had gone. at that time I was going to go shops…and was about to walk out the house, when my eldest bro said “girl, dont come outside when theres another guy here” (i.e. why did u ask us where dad was)…I said to him i only asked cuz i needed to ask him where the keys were…and i also said “i see guys at uni anyway, and talk to them so whats the problem”…even my dad was there at that time and said i was right…there was nothing wrong at all.
yesterday one of his paindu friends came to our house…i was about to come downstairs when my bro said “you wait upstairs,…someones gonna come inside…let him come in then u can come down”…so i waited not to cause a fuss…anyway, then i came down and dad asked me wot my bro was saying. i told him and dad started laughing thinking how stupid my bro acts sometimes…then i was sitting in the living room with dad minding my own business…when my bro came in the living room and said to me “you’re not going to the kitchen now are you…cuz im taking my friend there now we’re going to drink tea in the kitchen”…i just said No…again my dad was with me and started laughing at how stupid and paindu my brother acts.
why does he do this? i find it really annoying. I see guys outside in the street etc too. sometimes the same guys he tells me to hide from i have already seen them in the streets or someone elses house!
1) he is just being an over protective big brother
2) he has a certain mentality which he assumes other guys do too and thus does not want you in sight.
3) he is hanging out with mullah crowd and this is just the begining
very immature of him to do that. If he feels so insecure that his friends will ooggle you or will make a pass at you, then maybe he should never bring them home or befriend them in the first place. It is your house and you live there then why should you hide in your bedroom hiding from strangers in your house. Maybe you should tell him not to bring home such perverts?
its not cute its very annoying…I dont say anything because I dont want to cause an argument…but i think im getting to the point where i will say something…
**I’m surprised you haven’t said anything so far. **
Have you ever talked to your mom and dad about this and told them how much this bothers you? Obviously your dad doesn’t have a problem with your behavior? Have you ever asked your dad to tell your brothers to back off?
You mentioned you’re in Uni. so I’m assuming you’re around 20. I would personally just completely ignore anything your brother says about your behavior. Just laugh at him like your dad does b/c your brother’s just being ridiculous.
If anyone came to me while I was sitting in my house and asked me anything like “You’re not going in the kitchen now are you…b/c my friend and I are going to drink tea there.”…my response would be “I don’t have a reason to go to the kitchen at this very moment, but if I need something from there, then yes, I might go in. If you don’t want to take the chance of seeing me, then you should drink tea with your friend in your bedroom with the door closed.”.
And if you brother ever confronts you about anything, just let him know that he’s NOT your dad or mom, and that if he has a problem with your behavior, he should talk to your mom and/or dad about it.
Don’t let him treat you like crap in your own house. Stand up for yourself. Respect is a 2 way street. If someone wants respect from you, they must give you respect to begin with.
BTW, I’m the oldest in my family so I don’t have a older sibling problem…but I’ve never seen any male member in my family treat a female member like this in my life…and I can also tell you no female member in my family will tolerate being treated like this…especially in their own house.
Guys need privacy, + they are very sensitive (eastern guys) towards sisters
keep in mind
it is not necessary that they bring only thier best friends to home, it could be some mechanic, collegue or neighboor or anyone so sisters bumping in at odd times is not very appropriate.
If he brings too many friends to house then he needs to change this practice. This is your house too and if he needs privacy than he should go to his own room and stay there it is quite dumb on his part to roam around the house with his firend and whatnot . Your father should talk to him and tell him to behave
ask your father to look into the matter - tell him politely that it bothers you while it amuses him.
or you can bring this up with your brother in front of your father, so that the matter gets spoken for finally. your dad will understand your POV if he finds your brother's behaviour funny and stupid. you can make it clear that you do not like him behaving this way especially in your own house.
Impulse tell your brother to get his own place if he wants his friends to be able to go where ever whenever. It is unfair of him to restrict you because of his friends. He should either keep his friends in his own room where u have no business to be or then hang out with them outdoors or then get his own place.
I had cousin who said he would kill his sisters(not sure if they really would) if he ever saw them in the terrace. From what I know of him I don;t think he was the type to ogle at girls or pass sick comments but other guys he hung out with did. He didn't want his sisters to be subject to the same. maybe your brother is in the same situation. Still that doesn't give him the license to boss you around, he should avoid bringing his friends home and especially letting them free to move around in the house.
so tell me what should i say next time he says something like this?
shall i say why do u bring your friends home anyway…you can talk to them outside. and I dont like you telling me what I should or shouldnt do…only dad can do that.
anything else I should say?
I personally think hes like this cuz of paindu friends he has…and he has lived in Pakistan for a few years in his 20s…but even guys living in Pakistan dont behave like this. I hate it …the way he trys to hide me.
I cant wait to get married…then I can do what i want cuz he cant say anything…and I will even talk to my hubbies friends IN FRONT OF MY BROTHER to try and annoy him:rolleyes:
Impulse tell him that he needs to control where his friends go not where you go. If he doesn;t listen then have your parents talk to him.
Guys in Pakistan can be like that too. I had a cousin who told his sisters that if he ever saw them on the terrace he would kill them I can’t completely blame him either. I doubt he was the sick obscene sort but Im sure he had heard enough guys passing lewd comments at girls going by and ogling at them which is why he was suffocatingly over-protective of his sisters.
maybe he finally realizes that men do look at you...lol
perhaps his friends tend to look at you or maybe he found out that one of them likes you. Im sure he has his reasons...why not ask him? I think that if he is so worried about it then he shouldnt be bringing his friends over to the house. Better yet....why not just look you up in your room til your an old maid :D
sorry sisters,but brothers have a lot of responsbilities and one of them is they have to protect you 4m evil eyes of men, yes you can argue it is discriminate but it will not change the fact that there are people who take advantage of poor helpless gals,brothers do it cuz they care for you ofcourse a good and loving brother will never invite someone in his home whos behaviour isn,t decent,don,t take it as insult to your ''independence''but rather as a way of his careniss and love for you.
I’ll definately do something about it next time he says anything.
my younger bros wife will be coming from pakistan soon…if my older brother behaves like that with her too…then I will definately tell him to take his friends in the outside shed…why should we all hide cuz of his friends. another thing about my brother is that hes really full of himself and always thinks his right. so annoying. I like my other brother though, he’s totally the opposite
its cute
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