bi-racial relationships

[Mamaof3]

Re: bi-racial relationships

bebo. we have such respect for each other just the way we are. I think my hubby will be very happy and proud when I get to the point of conversion yet he understands completely that I do not want to just "convert" and say "yeah yeah I do"...without the full understanding. He will be a bit sad I think, if I decide in the future, after I've read and learned, if I decided that its not for me. But accepting of it because he loves me the way I am yeah? And our boys are being raised Muslim to the best of our ability (granted that mine is rather limited) so he fills that in for us.

As far as the things that have "no compromise", I think we have those covered too. We have never had a serious issue over any of those issues. You work with what you have and when you love someone its so much easier to accept differences yeah?

[bebo]

Thats lovely MO3 and I agree that being married means you love and respect each other's choices.

[Anwer_Pasha]

Re: bi-racial relationships

We live in Pakistan but there is something intresting.
My grandson (Pota).You can see him in the picture sitting in with my PVS son Jawad Pasha(his uncle)
His grand father (dada) is Punjabi (me) .
His grand mother (dadi) is urdu speaking.
His grand father (nana) is Kashmiri.
His grand mother (nani) is pathan from Peshawar.
My son in law is of south Indian oregeon (Hydrabdi)
We all have no problem.
We enjoy this all.

[farrah]

Re: bi-racial relationships

^ That is really lovely. I just find multicultural families very exciting! I guess I should refer to you as uncle

I am in this kind of scenario:

i am pakistani, my fiance is dutch (native, not pakistani dutch)
his sister’s fiance is egyptian
his brother’s wife is south american

i asked my MIL to have another child, so he/she could get a partner from australia

when i was still in pakistan .. i felt so comfortable walking with my fiance … perhaps people thought he was a tourist, and bothered less … lol …
but eversince iv been in netherlands … it’s not been easy. i am relaxed about it now, but in the beginning it was very difficult. i came here for my masters, and because of the language gap, i really needed his help a lot. being a sucker for desi food, of course we needed to go into areas where you find desi shops. people didnt have to say anything, their piercing eyes were enough to make me uncomfortable. and this kept me away from the pakistani community for over a year! but u cant stay away from your roots for long, and i made the initiative to find nice people, and i have been successful in that Alhamdulliah.
But i guess i am a bit more sensitive to this issue, and i feel like completely shaking up any person who looks at me in the wrong way.
giggles, raised-eyebrows, smirks, whispers, stares … they really make me uncomfortable. i guess it’ll take a bit more time before i completely curb this issue of mine.

[Mehnaz]

Re: bi-racial relationships

^ how did you two meet?

[farrah]

Re: bi-racial relationships

^ one miserable day, with plans of running away, i signed up on a travelers forum
and amazingly enough, he had joined the same forum 2 days earlier. He was already interested in traveling to pakistan, as on one of his trips across asia (destination india) he missed pakistan because of his sissy friend (they already had visas though, but his travel buddy backed out) …
and one fine day he just sent me a query asking about travel through pakistan. and we talked for a few days with this in his mind that i am a boy (he thought women in pakistan dont have access to the internet and all wear a burqa)
and one day i had to tell him that i am a girl because he proposed that he could marry my sister, and i could marry his, and then we can travel in each others’ countries
he didn’t marry my sister, but he did come to pakistan

so that’s how we met

[Mehnaz]

Re: bi-racial relationships

^ That's so cute.

[Nosherwan]

Re: bi-racial relationships

I don't know if I get classed as mixed-race but I'm mixed ethnicity.

My paternal family are Pashtun whilst my maternal family are Punjabi.

A lot of my family and friends in Britain have married non-Pakistani people including indigneous White Muslims, Gujarati Muslims and Bengalis.

I married a Punjabi girl but when I was younger I always thought I'd end up marrying a Bengali or Gujarati, those girls are like Masha Allah!!!!

[Nosherwan]

Mo3 I hope you don't mind me asking this but have you or your hubby ever talk about the possibilty of you never converting. What if you never come around and Islam never make enough sense for you to convert. I guess if he is not bothered by it now he is not gona be bothered one way or the other. But I am curious though...You know there are certain things in Islam on which there is no compromise so how you guys negociate on these??

As long as the children are bought up Muslim, Islam allows Muslim men to marry women from the People of The Scripture (Christians and Jews) probably because their religions are similar to Islam, and the Koran and the Bible have so many values in common which would make martial life comfortable.

The Mufti (Deobandi Hanafi Sunni) of my village said Islam requires men who marry Jewish/Christian women to allow them the freedom to practice their religion and to go to the Church or the Temple (synagogue).

Marriage to Non-Abrahamic (Muslim, Christian, Jewish) women such as Hindus is not allowed in Islam and is considered invalid and void.

Muslim women can't marry non-Muslim men either even if they be People of the Scripture. It's not neccesary to understand the wisdom/hikmah behind Allah's rulings but I think some of the reasons might be that men are physically stronger and the head of the house so they might force/intimidate their wife into renouncing Islam, in most socities the wife usually goes to live with the husband and his people after marriage so in such a enviroment it might take the Muslim woman and her children away from Islam.

Marriages that are not allowed in Islam are null and void and those who practice them are comitting fornication as such a Nikaah is not valid even if it's performed a million times whether that's two males having a Nikaah performed or a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman.

[bebo]

^ I will not get into the whole debate about what, why and how ridiculous with you but your first paragraph is interesting.
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[QUOTE]
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**As long as the children are bought up Muslim, Islam allows Muslim men to marry women from the People of The Scripture (Christians and Jews) probably because their religions are similar to Islam, and the Koran and the Bible have so many values in common which would make martial life comfortable.

**
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[/QUOTE]
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You do know that good christan , church going families also enjoy eating pork tenderloin with Pinto noir. Christan women enjoy a good day at beach werning bikinis. Now what a good muslim husband to do in such situtions??? Plz no mutual understanding thing here beacuse mutual understanding can be achived with people from non theistic religions.

[Nosherwan]

@bebo

^ I will not get into the whole debate about what, why and how ridiculous with you but your first paragraph is interesting.

You do know that good christan , church going families also enjoy eating pork tenderloin with Pinto noir. Christan women enjoy a good day at beach werning bikinis. Now what a good muslim husband to do in such situtions??? Plz no mutual understanding thing here beacuse mutual understanding can be achived with people from non theistic religions.

I didn't make up the rules chick, Allah did.

Eating pork or wearing bikinis is not a religious requirement for the People of the Scripture.

The Bible also asks people to dress modestly, depictions of the Virgin Mary :Allaih: always show her wearing a Hijaab and Christian nuns also wear Hijaabs.

Eating pork, carrion and blood is also forbidden in the Bible.

Christian sects such as Seventh Day Adventists do not eat pork because the Old Testament forbids it because they believe that Jesus Christ came to fulfill the laws of the past Prophets and not to abolish them.

Obviously marriages are based on mutual consent and a Muslim man who wants his wife to dress modestly and let his children be brought up as Muslims will only marry the type of girl (Muslim or Christian) who will agree with his views.

Conservative Muslims and Conservative Christians have a lot more in common than they don't.

Conservative Christians are also against the glorification of immorality and sexual freedoms that weaken family life...

Eating pork is not a religious requirement or sacred duty for Christians, just as eating beef is not a religious requirement for us Muslims for which reason the Deoband Madrassah in India has issued a Fatwa asking Muslims to abstain from eating beef not because it's haraam but to avoid offending the sentiments of their Hindu neighbours.

[bebo]

Too bad nuns are celibet and do not marry. Most christan live by the new testament and defination of modesty differes from culture to culture.

[UZ]

boy sees girl

boy meets girl

boy is recent revert, girl is a lost soul

boy likes girl

girl likes boy

boy helps girl on the right path

girl marries boy

both are happy

End of story. :)

Mashallah se you are blessed :)

[farrah]

@Mehnaz

^ That’s so cute.

@Nosherwan

I married a Punjabi girl but when I was younger I always thought I’d end up marrying a Bengali or Gujarati, those girls are like Masha Allah!!!

is this said in a good way? i don’t get it …

@Nosherwan

I didn’t make up the rules chick, Allah did.

Eating pork or wearing bikinis is not a religious requirement for the People of the Scripture.

Eating pork, carrion and blood is also forbidden in the Bible.

Allah made the rules, but he did’nt forbid us to struggle to find out why a certain is, and what’s the hikmat behind it.
But i do agree with you that moderate dressing and exclusion of food material that applies to Islam as well is also there in the Bible. It’s not restricted to the old testament.

@bebo

Too bad nuns are celibet and do not marry. Most christan live by the new testament and defination of modesty differes from culture to culture.

the new testament isnt drastically different from the new one. I’ve seen like a million documentaries regarding Bible … and each of them is questioning the excluded gospels … that in itself poses a serious issue.

I am not sure if i am for or against the idea of an athiest … of what problems it poses … but i am also wondering if an increase in atheism is because of keeping the state(culture) separate from the church … and giving such an insane amount of freedom … and then in that case, it is quite absurd if modesty rules are dependent on culture … it’s only the loss of religion.

Recently in Italy the state said that the cross will be removed from some place in educational institutes .. and regardless of how religious or not the people were, there was an out roar … the cross has just become a cultural identity, and lost it’s value in it’s religious sense for them.

[Anwer_Pasha]

Re: bi-racial relationships

Farrah.
When you come Pakistan must visit your uncle's home. We live very close to Islamabad Airport. But don't come alone. We want to see .....

[farrah]

@Anwer_Pasha

Farrah. When you come Pakistan must visit your uncle's home. We live very close to Islamabad Airport. But don't come alone. We want to see .....

hahaha ... that's so sweet anwar uncle! will do :D
do u live in the airport colony?

[Deeba1234]

@farrah

^ one miserable day, with plans of running away, i signed up on a travelers forum
and amazingly enough, he had joined the same forum 2 days earlier. He was already interested in traveling to pakistan, as on one of his trips across asia (destination india) he missed pakistan because of his sissy friend (they already had visas though, but his travel buddy backed out) …
and one fine day he just sent me a query asking about travel through pakistan. and we talked for a few days with this in his mind that i am a boy (he thought women in pakistan dont have access to the internet and all wear a burqa)
and one day i had to tell him that i am a girl because he proposed that he could marry my sister, and i could marry his, and then we can travel in each others’ countries
he didn’t marry my sister, but he did come to pakistan

so that’s how we met

Aww, that is such a sweet story.. what happened when u met in person for the first time?

[Deeba1234]

I've been hearing a lot of how open england is, and that most of such happenings happen in england. I hope things work out for you ... but if i may ask, why doesn't your brother agree to it? what's his argument?

My brother doesn't really have any practical or logic argument against me and my other half, he's just one of those hypocrites who think it's ok to have a relationship with a non-desi (if ur a male) but not marry one. That attitude is still pretty common amongst boys over here.. makes me sick.. He's a doctor as well so you'd think he might be a bit more enlightened but it's like he's still living in the dark ages..

[Nosherwan]

I'm in one, all of my family are ok with it except my brother.. Mixed couples are pretty common in London nowadays, living down here it's not generally seen as such a big deal as it would be in certain other parts of the country. One of my best friends is Egyptian/Malaysian and more than half the weddings we go to are mixed marriages, all sorts of unusual mixes, Bengali/Turkish, Pakistani/Libyan are two recent ones.. What u don't see nearly enough of tho is desis marrying black Muslims, I guess it's the last 'taboo', pretty sad when u think about it..

There are certain Pakistani communities that are a lot more conservative, it's defo easier in London and surrounding areas of the UK to 'marry out' than in places like Yorkshire or the Midlands where families generally tend to be more traditional..

What ethnicity did you marry and is he Muslim? If you don't mind me askin.

If your hubby is a Muslim then with all due respect to your brother he is being a retard.

Who cares about ethnicity and caste and crap? At the end of the day ethnicity just boils down to two differences, that's language and looks, it would be boring if we all spoke the same language and looked the same, Islam is all that matters.

Mxed race kids are gorgeous coz they inherit the prettiness of both races, like pretty features from one side and nice skin from the other.

It's like I'm Punjabi-Pashtun and I find Pashtuns have nice hair but Punjabis have sexier features.

I live in the north (though not a predominanatly Paki area) and mixed marriages are quite common up here.

I know a Pashtun girl married to a black brother, so it does happen.

The most mixed Paki marriages I've seen are Paki/Arab (north African).

Muslim Ummah is so kool, such a melting pot of different cultures.

[Nosherwan]

@bebo

Too bad nuns are celibet and do not marry. Most christan live by the new testament and defination of modesty differes from culture to culture.

You get differences amongst Muslims too.

My mums side who are Punjabi don't wear burqas or shawls, just normal salwar kamiz with a chunni/dupatta is considered modest enough...

I know some urban Punjabis wear burqa/chador but the rural Punjabis (who make up the vast majoirty of Punjab) do not.

Whilst in the region my Pathan paternal family come from wearing a burqa or chador (like big black Iranian shawls) is considered neccesary.

When my mum and paternal aunties visit my maternal family they just wear shalwar kameez but when my maternal family visit my paternal areas they wear chador.

Obviously it would inadvisable for a Muslim man to marry a woman who isn't going to accomodate slightly and allow for his kids to be brought up Muslim.

I wouldn't normally think it a good idea in a predominantly non-Muslim society for a Muslim man to marry to non-Muslim woman, even though it would be allowed by Islamic law, it would be inadvisable because if there's a divorce then the wife will have custody of the kids and she might take them away from the religion.

But not all non-Muslim women are like that, there' some who respect Pakistan/Islam more than Pakis/Muslims do, Mama is a great example, her posts are always so sweet and heartwarming, verizon is a lucky man.