My dad seems to think it’s weird that my best friend is a guy and said something along the lines of doesn’t my other half mind.. The person in question has always been loyal to me and really really supportive.. We bounce off each other and can literally say anything without the other getting upset so can’t imagine us not being close in the future..
Is it considered strange by desis even nowadays or not a big deal?
Re: Best friend of the opposite sex
If your other half has no problems with it , then more power to you.
Re: Best friend of the opposite sex
I dont think its desi thing deeba, I know lots of non desi men who had some form of jealousy against their other halves being best friends with a guy.
I think its more a 'man thing'
I think the reason being, the Male SO compares himself to the best friend and if he sees differences will feel insecure about them.
Re: Best friend of the opposite sex
My dad seems to think it's weird that my best friend is a guy and said something along the lines of doesn't my other half mind.. The person in question has always been loyal to me and really really supportive.. We bounce off each other and can literally say anything without the other getting upset so can't imagine us not being close in the future..
Is it considered strange by desis even nowadays or not a big deal?
Being a desi Muslim Married man I would mind if best friend of my wife is a male na mahram. And she has all the rights to be upset if my best friend is a na mahram woman.
It is not a societal taboo , it is Islamic dictate. Na mahram men and women are mandated to keep a certain distance specially the married ones.
Re: Best friend of the opposite sex
halal friend (mehram man) is ok.
Re: Best friend of the opposite sex
I think you dont need to rub it in your SO's face that your best friend is a guy if that is the case. Creates undue tension. And no two best friends from the opposite sex would have remained completely chaste in their thoughts or speech throughout. At some point, one or the other, however briefly would entertain the thought of how it would be if they ended up together. However innocently, the concept would be thought of. Hence the discomfort. Hence the disbelief.
Re: Best friend of the opposite sex
It's still frowned upon in general amongst desis imo, some desis accept it , most dont
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It’s not rubbed in his face at all and for the most part he is ok with it.. He’s told me the only thing that niggles at him a bit is that I tell him my innermost feelings.. He knows there is absolutely no attraction there from my side at all..
Tbh the two are like chalk and cheese in looks, personality, everything.. As an example my SO is quite guarded whilst best mate totally wears his heart on his sleeve so sometimes it’s just easier to tell best mate things, even moreso as I’ve known him a lot longer..
I had never even thought about the situation in this way till my dad brought it up 
Re: Best friend of the opposite sex
My dad seems to think it's weird that my best friend is a guy and said something along the lines of doesn't my other half mind.. The person in question has always been loyal to me and really really supportive.. We bounce off each other and can literally say anything without the other getting upset so can't imagine us not being close in the future..
Is it considered strange by desis even nowadays or not a big deal?
it used to be very uncommon a few decades ago but this trend is changing and such cases now exist even in Pakistan. I have got some very good female friends and my family knows about them. However, the fact stands that desi parents behave differently when it's a girl having friendship with boys.
As some one mentioned eariler, this thing is not typical to Desi families. I had a very good friend, she was Egyption christian and her parents moved to states back in 60ies. Her dad was ok but her mom had serious issues over her friendship with me and used to refer me as terrorist friend when speaking to her about me :)
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My dad was always ok with me being friends with him, even used to tell me to invite him round for dinner and so on.. Just he couldn't seem to get his head round the fact that being attached and serious I would carry on that close friendship..
One of my newly married aunties 'back home' has a guy best mate as well and he's literally round their house every day after breakfast (they do work together in fashion tho) and my dad made a similar remark about that as well.. I thought it strange as my dad's one of the most liberal ppl I know but then again there is still that generation gap..
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Her dad was ok but her mom had serious issues over her friendship with me and *used to refer me as terrorist friend when speaking to her about me *:)
God that's awful..
Re: Best friend of the opposite sex
It is not a societal taboo , it is Islamic dictate. Na mahram men and women are mandated to keep a certain distance specially the married ones.
^That.........if you want to follow islam......you shouldn't be having a na-mehram as your "best buddy"......that sort of close emotional relationship isn't right...
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^Yeah and like I said before you shouldn't be making your wife live with her inlaws (your fave subject) if you also follow Islam..
Worry about yourself rather than concerning yourself with my 'sins.' That's why I tend to like compromise and the attitude of 'live and let live.' Those in glass houses and all that..
(Btw didn't you once mention some girl having a Bollywood style crush on you, perhaps you should try taking your own advice concerning non mehrams)
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I don't think its a big deal if your spouse if comfortable with it. I have a few close guy friends, my husband has no issues with it - in fact he is friends with them too. Plus he is close friends with a few girls and I don't mind it at all. We end up having a great time with each other's friends whenever we meet.
It all boils down to trust.
Re: Best friend of the opposite sex
I don't think its a big deal if your spouse if comfortable with it. I have a few close guy friends, my husband has no issues with it - in fact he is friends with them too. Plus he is close friends with a few girls and I don't mind it at all. We end up having a great time with each other's friends whenever we meet. It all boils down to trust.
Yeah, my other half knows him too now, has his number etc. so it's not like he's in the dark about the guy or not knowing what's going on..
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One of my Bestie is a guy I have known from eons. My Dad doesn't like the fact that I hang out/talk to him so much..(I am not married so not sure how the other half would react) but ours has always been a comfortable, fun friendship with no romantic inclination whatsoever. I wouldn't want to lose this if couple of people talk behind our backs (Aka..aunties)..It doesnt bother me.
As far as my dad is concerened, I had a talk with him and he now understands that life long friendships are hard to come by and as long as your intentions are pure, it shouldn't matter. I am not sure if he fully understands even now but what comforts him, is that atleast I am hanging out with a childhood/family friend and not a stranger he doesn't know.
We did talk about how it would be if we ever dated after our friends started joking around and both of us hated that Idea. It takes a lot of explaining of how "we are just friends", everytime we meet common acquaintances but then at the end of the day it's worth it. I think I learned to become more Independent because it was always a competition between us whether it be sports or fixing the car up or doing things reserved for the guys in the family..(It didnt help either that I have no sisters and only brothers:-).
I can only hope this friendship is equally comfortable once our spouses come in picture.
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carry on
P.S…i love it how you are so interested in, and remember all my threads…makes me feel special 
Re: Best friend of the opposite sex
How can you have a 'male best friend'. I know girls discuss every and any thing with their best friends, including their crushes, their menstural problems, their choices in undergarments and all that.
do you discuss those with him? I hope not.
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^ are you judging her now TLK? haven’t you learnt your lesson from ‘parenting’ thread?? 
Re: Best friend of the opposite sex
I mean .. err ..
no. Please dont kill me 