Best friend of the opposite sex

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

:) hehe..TLK :) U remind me of the J cartoons I recently posted on my blog. :):)

22

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

So they are all family friends now. Best friends, close friends , family friends are different species of friends, I guess. :hmmm: If you and your friends are hanging around as a family that is different than if you hang around those guys with your husband not present or if he hangs around his female friends with you not being present.

:hmmm: I do not know man , a guy who is harmless best male friend of a na-mahram would be good for talking about those things too.

23

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

Yes, I usually remind people of cartoons ..

Nice cartoons btw :)

24

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

stop deceiving yourself khatoon, this friendship isnt righT

25

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

Yes, they have evolved from being “my/his friends” to “our friends”. However, both me and my husband travel quite a bit. If he happens to go to a city where his close pal (girl or guy) lives, I have no problem if they meet, even though I’m not present; and the same is true with him.
In fact I’d go a step further and say that such friendships have actually made our marriage stronger - we have a better understanding of the other’s perspective because we have friends of the opposite sex.

26

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

Good for you. You found a very good solution for rocky marriages I guess. :hmmm: Not that God forbid I am saying that your marriage is rocky , but what I am saying is that people who have rocky marriages should try this as a solution to make their marriages strong.

27

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

LoL Mirch, I'm not claiming this will work for everyone. It depends on the couple and how comfortable they are with each other. Also the comfort level evolves over time.. when you are newly married and don't know each other too well, being close friends with the opposite sex may lead to issues.
My point was having close friends of the opposite sex isn't always a bad thing.

28

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

best friends are best friends doesn't matter if they of opp gender...
sad thing is one day your other half may have a problem with your friendship seeing as he's a guy and all...crunch time will come when you guys are hitched, then you will find out...

29

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

I don't think my husband would ever approve of me having a male friend, and neither would I for him. Are you okay with your husband having a friend who is a girl that he shares everything with rather then you? Every couple is different, if your husband really is fine with it then thats upto him, but it is def. not the norm in a lot of culture.

30

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

ermm yeah if my wife had a best friend who was a guy I would have a problem. It doesn't even have to do anything with being Muslim, any gora would have a problem too. Your boyfriend is probably gay.

31

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

I was reading an article in some fashion magazine about how gay guys are fast becoming women's best friend, in fashion industry (Western) practically every female happens to have a gay friend that she also likes to call her best friend. I know a similar case in real life as well. Maybe OP's case is also similar.

32

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

And for God sake the world doesn't start and ends at 'desi's'. There's such thing called human nature!

In Western cultures these best friends of opp genders have been the cause of millions of relationship breakdowns! It might be easier to get hold of a best friend from the opp gender, but lets not pretend it is something that is so freaking celebrated and encouraged in relationships.

I know a gora who would never allow his GF to go out and watch movie with another guy alone like he would let her go watch the movie with her female best friend, and I know plenty of black females who would never let their BFs go out on shoping with their so called girlie best mate.

33

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

Also........if someone's 'Significant Other' allows them to indulge in haram activity........it doesn't make that activity right........... nobody can put the responsibility of their actions on the 'consent' from SO....

34

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

this was a post 9/11 thing. She was not happy seeing her daughter hanging out with boys and in my case in particular, being a muslim was a bigger issue :)

35

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

hmmm, I personally would be very bothered if my husband had a best friend of the opposite gender, whom he felt more comfortable sharing stuff with than me. Not that we don't have friends of the opposite gender, but we aren't that close to any of them. Like I know my husband would be upset if he knows i shared something with one of my male friends and not him... and vice versa and I think it would be the same with any one.. NO?
I just don't understand how can a husband, or wife for that matter be okay, with their spouse putting another person before them. I'd feel very left out if I find out my husband has shared something with one of his female friends and not me. I would also be bothered if he shared something with a male friend or not me, but i can understand if it's more of a guy thing or something.. but with the opposite gender???? I don't think I'll 'understand' at all.

36

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

I would be fine with my husband having a best friend thats female as long as he doesn't tell her everything. Theres things you tell your best friend and theres things you keep it between your husband and yourself.

37

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

Yeah, cos gay white men fall for a girl, convert to Islam of their own free will and several months later ask them to marry them, don't they..

Best mate is not gay either, I know that for a fact.

It's simple, I've known him for 10+ years and whilst other ppl have come and gone he has been one of the few constants in my life and I like the fact that we're so comfortable around each other we can say anything. It's not like I tell him so many things I would never tell my SO.

Sometimes it's easier to just ask best mate first for their opinion. A lot of girls confide in their closest friend before their fiance, only in my case he's the opposite sex.

38

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

It's not quite like that, I would tell my SO things, just I might not tell him first depending on what it's to do with, how well he knows the person in question (if at all) etc. My other half is the stereotypical english 'lad', obsessed with cars, football etc. so not necessarily the sort of person who's great with emotional stuff anyway and as I mentioned before best mate doesn't have that sort of emotional 'barrier' up that a lot of men do so in that way there's also a marked difference.

Of course things will prob change naturally in time anyway and the relationship will shift, esp as best mate will likely settle down himself soon anyway then come babies and less time and so on..

39

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

He might not be gay but he was probably trying to hook up with you at some point and ended up in the friend zone.

And I don't think it's particularly a desi thing, it's a guy thing. If you have a fight with your SO will you go to this guy to talk things over? That would piss me off. But your friend sounds like a sensitive type of guy and those guys kind of make me uncomfortable anyways lol.

40

Re: Best friend of the opposite sex

Weird stuff.

Something aint right here.