My story is a little different, we were family friends since I was seven. My husband was also the youngest son of the family but was still around ten years older than me.
He first asked for my hand when I was sixteen, and got rejected, my parents didn't even bother telling me about it. He kept on for two years and they finally caved. That was the time he visited us and I was coming out of my daddys lovely salloon drive when he saw me. I totally ignored him and walked past and even though my dad was talking to him he wouldn't take his eyes off me. As you can tell I'de had so many bad experiences with guys crushing on my I just didn't bother giving a single one the time of day.
(My dad literally had a heart attack when he came back inside - I haven't heard him ever have such an explosion in his life). So when they finally caved and told me it was like a shot out of the blue.
My parents refused to let me meet him, and he was so anxious to get the nikkah over with already that he didn't dare ask in case my parents said no to the entire marriage.
Anyway we got married, I won't lie to you, the first three to four years of our marriage were hell, err with a capital H. His family hated me. My efforts were wasted on them and I do regret trying to be nice, his mother and his sister were the only ones on his side.
You see, his other brothers were married to women from the 'chuck' and they wanted their sisters to marry him. They even offered both at the same time (as in two wives)
There was also the matter of his inheritance. They managed to get their grubby hands on his property as well. He had another smaller one but we were fine with that.
Despite the Hell that we were going through, all the hard times made us stronger. There were times, actually, most of the time, where my own family were really mad at us. They are major socialites and if it wasnt a charity function or the diplomat from Jordan then its a cricket player from pk or my dads old friend Mr Universe.
My husband was getting pretty tee'd off because at first I sided with my parents. Then I realised that it just was not in him to waste his time munching on aurderves and making small talk. He worked, or studied, or spent time with me. His idea of a good time extended to travelling to exotic locations or going to the theatre, restaraunt or even an evening at home with me a movie and junk food. (Given it was a horror)
You have to realise one thing when you get married. Men are not all the same. Each has his own qualities, his own good points and his own weaknesses. They can't all be like your brother or your father - they are all different. So keep an open mind and stick up for him.
Anyway, we are out of the thick now and into the thin. And boy, am I glad I stayed with him. Leaving him was never an option. He's told me that as long as I'm on earth I belong to him. (Que rolleyes he's Punjabi and possessive to the point of obsession.. what can I do about that but enjoy being pampered?)
He loved me and still loves me like nobody's business. It has been several years and we still act like a newly married couple, albeit we never were for PDA's (he doesn't care in front of his mother though whether he gives me a foot massage or tosses me over his shoulder and takes me to the bedroom to find a more 'circumspect' manner of resolving our issues)
Yes we have fights, yes we argue and yes I do dump jug loads of frozen water on him. But those are the perks of marriage :) He is your OTL and you should make it as fun, and as passionate as possible. (The frozen water is my only defence - he is superior to me in size and weight and shamelessly takes advantage of it)
A piece of advice, don't ever take the role of a wife. Friend/mistress is fine. Surprise him, tackle him, tickle him do what you want, he is your man, you are his woman - don't be a shy pakistani kuri and break some barriers whilst your at it.
Have fun :) and I hope you find a wonderful man in your husband (and hopefully better in laws than mine - just for the record my in laws are now trying to behave themselves, since we've moved away, but I think my experience with them will never fix the rifts they have caused. I only smile and nod at them now, polite formality is enough - they are not nice people and not worth a second of my time)
*OTL - One True Love
