Re: Being Married?
This is such a good thread for all the bride to be's....
I'm loving reading all the stories... May Allah bless all with a luvly married life..Ameen.
Re: Being Married?
wow nice thread it gave me answer to many questions thanks DaffyDuck and others who gave detailed replies
I don't know why but to me it always seemed like a terrible drama lol there were times when I would just dream of a tranquil life on a quiet white sandy beach with palm trees swaying in the balmy island breeze
ah well wishful thinking - but still my happy ending is what I wanted, and if I had to go through it all again I would
awww, all this made me so teary. Im soo happy for you Kenjifu
Re: Being Married?
wow u guys think a lot about marriage.
Re: Being Married?
this thread is so nice
im gonna be married soon n its nice to read happy stories
luv all the advice
maybe once im married i can share my experience to n inshallah it will be in the happy marriages thread....
Re: Being Married?
just when i was reading this thread n learning to be thankful for the Goods in our relation i ended up with a nasty arguement with my husband.ok now breathe deeply in n out. life has UPS n DOWNS n then DOWN again.A very bumpy road it is :)
Re: Being Married?
Yes, definitely one of the cutest threads. 
Re: Being Married?
hehe! You all are adorable. thanks!!
Re: Being Married?
:whistling…
…
…A Happy Thread along with all the other not so happy…
This is Life…
Marriage is a time in our life where alot of things change, your looked at differently, you have differnt responsibilities and a different outlook on life.
Put it simply you have to firstly believe that you will be happy in your marriage and dont think for a second that a number of people you know or have spoken to have had divorces etc. That does not help being positive. In a way learn from those and finds the reason behind it and if possible a solution, easier said than done though.
When you get married you have other people to look after or be around, and yes sometimes Mother-in-Laws or Father-in-Law etc can be a problem, however if they dont like you to begin with, make them like you as the opposite can happen as well, ie you dont like them.
I know a couple who got married wife said i dont want to live with your parents anymore and husband said give me a good reason, which she could not. she left home 3 times and went back to her parents who after asking why she came home did not think it was a good reason and took her back.
Anyway the husband and parents live in a £1m house and he said okay we will move, the house 3 doors down came for sale and bought that for just over £1m. In the time that they were supposed to move the wife had a change of heart and demamded she stays. The other house has been lying empty for 3yrs.
The main aspect of a good relationship is understanding and being tolerant. Everyone has good and bad days and its the other spouces jon to help make the other feel better etc.
Get married with the notion that you are going to be happy and inshallah you will be and everything works out fine. Hard times come to us all and if they do stick in and and let the storm pass over!
how it can be made better from our end,
-what positive motivational changes you felt in your self before being married and after being married,
-what moments/actions can strengthen your bond with your spouse,
-what is best in it,
-why shouldnt one miss out on being married,
-Basically, what is so special about it
Re: Being Married?
Just wanted to add that marriage is not just about two people. You get married into a whole family. The level of in-law interaction varies family to family as some of you might live under the same roof, some in a different continent.
I have got to say that "I have been blessed with really caring inlaws" esp my MIL. You only hear bad saas bahu stories but my MIL and I are friends. I really relate to her as a women and mother even though we had VERY different upringing.
I never thought I would say this but my MIL and FIL have actually become an integral part of my life. Someone I depend on, someone who cares for me and my children and is genuinely concerned for my happiness.
Re: Being Married?
Wow, this is really nice to hear from everyone. Daffy was right earlier about getting a bit nervous when you see all these threads opening up on problems. Im not having a love marriage, its arranged and learning a lot about him as I go along...inlaws seem nice enough too.
Just hope I dont have issues that I cant deal with, Inshallah.
I so want to get married now .. hehe :AID:
Put it simply you have to firstly believe that you will be happy in your marriage and dont think for a second that a number of people you know or have spoken to have had divorces etc. That does not help being positive. In a way learn from those and finds the reason behind it and if possible a solution, easier said than done though.
Get married with the notion that you are going to be happy and inshallah you will be and everything works out fine. Hard times come to us all and if they do stick in and and let the storm pass over!
i'm really looking forward to getting married and i could just picture my married life i can see me and my husband being very happy inshallah i am very very positive probs coz my sisters marriages are very happy mashallah im a little worried though what if im expecting too much??
My story is a little different, we were family friends since I was seven. My husband was also the youngest son of the family but was still around ten years older than me.
He first asked for my hand when I was sixteen, and got rejected, my parents didn't even bother telling me about it. He kept on for two years and they finally caved. That was the time he visited us and I was coming out of my daddys lovely salloon drive when he saw me. I totally ignored him and walked past and even though my dad was talking to him he wouldn't take his eyes off me. As you can tell I'de had so many bad experiences with guys crushing on my I just didn't bother giving a single one the time of day.
(My dad literally had a heart attack when he came back inside - I haven't heard him ever have such an explosion in his life). So when they finally caved and told me it was like a shot out of the blue.
My parents refused to let me meet him, and he was so anxious to get the nikkah over with already that he didn't dare ask in case my parents said no to the entire marriage.
Anyway we got married, I won't lie to you, the first three to four years of our marriage were hell, err with a capital H. His family hated me. My efforts were wasted on them and I do regret trying to be nice, his mother and his sister were the only ones on his side.
You see, his other brothers were married to women from the 'chuck' and they wanted their sisters to marry him. They even offered both at the same time (as in two wives)
There was also the matter of his inheritance. They managed to get their grubby hands on his property as well. He had another smaller one but we were fine with that.
Despite the Hell that we were going through, all the hard times made us stronger. There were times, actually, most of the time, where my own family were really mad at us. They are major socialites and if it wasnt a charity function or the diplomat from Jordan then its a cricket player from pk or my dads old friend Mr Universe.
My husband was getting pretty tee'd off because at first I sided with my parents. Then I realised that it just was not in him to waste his time munching on aurderves and making small talk. He worked, or studied, or spent time with me. His idea of a good time extended to travelling to exotic locations or going to the theatre, restaraunt or even an evening at home with me a movie and junk food. (Given it was a horror)
You have to realise one thing when you get married. Men are not all the same. Each has his own qualities, his own good points and his own weaknesses. They can't all be like your brother or your father - they are all different. So keep an open mind and stick up for him.
Anyway, we are out of the thick now and into the thin. And boy, am I glad I stayed with him. Leaving him was never an option. He's told me that as long as I'm on earth I belong to him. (Que rolleyes he's Punjabi and possessive to the point of obsession.. what can I do about that but enjoy being pampered?)
He loved me and still loves me like nobody's business. It has been several years and we still act like a newly married couple, albeit we never were for PDA's (he doesn't care in front of his mother though whether he gives me a foot massage or tosses me over his shoulder and takes me to the bedroom to find a more 'circumspect' manner of resolving our issues)
Yes we have fights, yes we argue and yes I do dump jug loads of frozen water on him. But those are the perks of marriage :) He is your OTL and you should make it as fun, and as passionate as possible. (The frozen water is my only defence - he is superior to me in size and weight and shamelessly takes advantage of it)
A piece of advice, don't ever take the role of a wife. Friend/mistress is fine. Surprise him, tackle him, tickle him do what you want, he is your man, you are his woman - don't be a shy pakistani kuri and break some barriers whilst your at it.
Have fun :) and I hope you find a wonderful man in your husband (and hopefully better in laws than mine - just for the record my in laws are now trying to behave themselves, since we've moved away, but I think my experience with them will never fix the rifts they have caused. I only smile and nod at them now, polite formality is enough - they are not nice people and not worth a second of my time)
*OTL - One True Love
Such a cute story:)