Re: Being friends with your Ex
He's gonna text you again and apologize and create all sorts of drama and emotional blackmail, this won't be the end of it. It's up to you now to keep strong in your conviction and close this chapter of your life, let yourself heal, and move on.
exactly what I would say.....
Re: Being friends with your Ex
As others had suggested, I'd say the best thing you could have done would have been to cut off communication without any explanation. Anyway, I hope you stay steadfast with this decision, it's for the best.
His response sounds like a threat. I'd report it to authorities, just in case. I'd also let your parents know about it.
i'm sorry you have to go thru this, but best of luck and STAY STRONG!
i agree with the comment above about reporting it...he seems psycho and i would atleast let my family know about it and possibly close friends/coworkers in case he does try to do something stupid. maybe keep a print out of the text messages?
Re: Being friends with your Ex
y chhotay chhotay bachay getting married nowadays :(
He is 29. I am 27.
He's gonna text you again and apologize and create all sorts of drama and emotional blackmail, this won't be the end of it.
i'm sorry you have to go thru this, but best of luck and STAY STRONG! i agree with the comment above about reporting it...he seems psycho and i would atleast let my family know about it and possibly close friends/coworkers in case he does try to do something stupid. maybe keep a print out of the text messages?
Yes, that's what he used to do in the past until I changed my number. And that really ticked him off, so he came to see me and threatened to expose all our personal conversations to my future fiance/husband. He said ek hi city main rehti ho, bach ke kahan jaogi? If you cross me, i'll make sure tumhara future bhi kharaab ho.
But he apologized the next day and has never done anything of the sort. So I would like to believe that he won't do it now. Hopefully.
Re: Being friends with your Ex
Agreed, theres no way he's gna let u go that easily, after all u've said about him. Stay strong and make sure to tell everyone around you that u have made a stand but that he may be back to create problems for you and that u will need their support if that happens. Best of luck for the future. x
Re: Being friends with your Ex
And you think that continuing to talk/text remain in contact with him decreases the ammunition/blackmail info he has on you?
It’s not love that’s keeping you in his sphere - it’s familiarity. His actions are not the actions of a man who loves you, they’re the actions of a man who wants to possess you.
Nothing is more frightening than dealing with a man who sees you not as person, but as a trophy to stroke his ego.
RUN AWAY FROM HIM AS FAST AS YOU CAN!
Re: Being friends with your Ex
Yes, that's what he used to do in the past until I changed my number. And that really ticked him off, so he came to see me and threatened to expose all our personal conversations to my future fiance/husband. He said ek hi city main rehti ho, bach ke kahan jaogi? If you cross me, i'll make sure tumhara future bhi kharaab ho. But he apologized the next day and has never done anything of the sort. So I would like to believe that he won't do it now. Hopefully.
Nice.
How could he have done anything of the sort when you don't have a fiance or husband yet?
How do you know that he wont?
Look....I know its hard to accept that someone you believe cares for you could be so nasty as well. In fact, it kind of makes you question your own standards doesn't it?
At the end of the day if you have cut yourself off from him then no future fiance/husband can truly object because you will say that you realized your mistake and removed yourself from the situation as best you could.
Re: Being friends with your Ex
What I sincerely don't understand is how a person can continue to believe that someone "loves" them or even "cares" for them when they make these sorts of threats and show no respect for their future.....
How do you carry on wanting good for someone that wants nothing but bad for you?
btw...this is a generic comment on the situation....not meant as an attack.
Re: Being friends with your Ex
He is a pig. Like *all *men. Throw stones at him.
Re: Being friends with your Ex
No, he was referring to romantic conversations before the break-up. I have deleted everything. I am not sure that he has. Anything recent we talked about is not of romantic nature. Only those smileys that he sent which I didn’t respond to.
I don’t know that he won’t. But I can hope and pray that if I didn’t do anything wrong that God will preserve my dignity and no one can harm me.
Re: Being friends with your Ex
What I sincerely don't understand is how a person can continue to believe that someone "loves" them or even "cares" for them when they make these sorts of threats and show no respect for their future.....
For guys at least it's their other head talking. I am an authority on this topic because I have been a certified guy for 32 years and 04 months.
Re: Being friends with your Ex
We had a text conversation and I explained my reasoning to him for wanting to cut off all communication. I blocked his number after that (that means he can't call me anymore but if he texts me, I will still get those...not sure if there is an app that blocks that?)
Here is his wonderful response: Intehai selfish ho tum intehai selfish. Aur pshyco bhi, Aur aik bat mere se kabhi kisi achi cheez ki umeed mat rakhana. Aj k bad dua kerna mera tumhara kabhi takra na ho, buhat bura ho ga tumhare liye. Go to hell.
A man who talks this way is not interested in your well being. If he really loved you...your happiness and wishes would have been top priority. But its not. As far as his threats go about showing text messages to your future husband.............................well...........consider the fact that IF he ever grew a pair and actually did that....it would put his own marriage and infidelity in the spotlight. He cannot hurt you because doing so hurts him more since he was married when it happened and you were not. Do you understand that his bluffs are just bluffs to control you because he probably feels powerless in his own life and home? I know it doesn't sound pretty but you ARE the other woman.
Re: Being friends with your Ex
He must know full well that any info he has on you, you have on him aswell. Any blackmailing he carries out, you could easily reciprocate. Its just empty threats from an insecure boy (hes not a man and never will be). Nothing else. Hes not that stupid that he would jeopardise HIS own relationship right now.
Re: Being friends with your Ex
Dont text him with your reasons. Just stop responding to him.
He was not able to stand up for you guys when it was time. He will never leave his wife. He is not going to be anything good to you.
Why would you want your Ex-fiancee to be friends with your future-husband? Wrong wrong wrong.
You're cooking dish for disaster my dear.
Get someone involved if he is being too stalkerish.
Re: Being friends with your Ex
I don't know that he won't. But I can hope and pray that if I didn't do anything wrong that God will preserve my dignity and no one can harm me.
True....you can hope and pray.
And whether or not you did anything wrong is a matter of opinion.
Some would say that by simply keeping the channel open when you knew for sure that he has designs that are other than platonic puts you clearly in the 'wrong'.
Re: Being friends with your Ex
He must know full well that any info he has on you, you have on him aswell. Any blackmailing he carries out, you could easily reciprocate. Its just empty threats from an insecure boy (hes not a man and never will be). Nothing else. Hes not that stupid that he would jeopardise HIS own relationship right now.
yeah...but perhaps he realizes that she is unable to reach his wife so he's safe. (misconception on his part because one can always find someone if one wants to.)
he's either very immature or not thinking straight hence these threats etc.
Re: Being friends with your Ex
18 times in this thread people said "move on"
kehty heen zuban-y-khalaq naq'ara-y-khuda
Re: Being friends with your Ex
sigh
Nosheen, I have a feeling if he messages you again, you are going to melt and start the cycle again. DON'T do it! It's not healthy. But you already knew that. So, your call!
Re: Being friends with your Ex
Mughay samagh nai aa raha Dopeher ko bilkul theek thi aik dam rat ko kya ho gaya,
Dil bhar gaya tumhara.
Person ap ne kaha mera ZAMEER nai,
Zameer ap ka nai
mera Zameer na hota aj kisi kona m pari hoti koi muh na lagata tumhain, ya kisi train ke samne kood k Jan de daiti.
and I am sorry, Ap ki koi cheez delete nai thi ki.
Aik bat samgha do bas, dopeher ko ap ne bilkul theek bat ki rat ko pata nai kya ho gaya aur sab khatam.
khud bilkul normal life guzar rahi jab dil kerta message ker laiti aur na dil kare tu bas main bat nai kerna chahti mughay move forward kerne do future p focus kerne do, etc etc,,,,
Main ksi waqt ap ki shadi future m rakawat bana hon. Rishtay bhi dekh rahe sab kuch ker rahe bas mughay hi pagal kerne k liye rakha ,, jab dil chaha thoker mar di jab dil chaha thoker mar di. Is ka matlab dil bhar jana hi hota aur kya hota.
Aur han pics sab save hain nai delete kin jab dil kerta dekhta hon, is ka matlab ap ko blacmail kerna nai.
Jo ap ne mere zameer pe bat ki us bat pe buhat gussa mughay.apni izzat p bat aye aik dum mazloom ban jati ho. Lakin aglay ki bezati kerte waqt zuban nai rukti tumhari.
Tumhain kya lagta meri wife mere sath laiti hoti aur main tumhain sari sari rat message ker rha hota hon. Aisa possible hai?
Aur tum kaun hoti bar bar meri shadi p discuss kerne wali. Main jaisa marzi life guzaron tum kaun hoti mughay toknay wali.
Apna views soch ko control m rakho.
apna past chupa k nai thi ki shadi sab bata ke ki tumhare apna bare main. Apna faiday k liye kuch bhi ker sakti, kam nikalta ho bas.
Ager itna hi bure hum aur main tu kis bat ka dukh tumhain tu buhat khush hona chahaiye pir kyun ansoo bahati.
Jao apna kam karo khisab kitab karo bara fakhir tumhain apna kam apna sensible honay pe sari zindagi yeah hi kam kerna tum ne Kam se hi shadi ker lo. Kuch larkian hoti demagh tu asman p hotay lakin haqeeqat main zameen P reeng rahi hoti.
Aj bhi tum logon ki soch waisi hi hai. Hamesha apni priorities ko high rakhte ho.
mera demagh bht khrab plz.
Re: Being friends with your Ex
I am not going to read all these texts but I hope you are ignoring all this crap and not replying him back.
Re: Being friends with your Ex
It hurts that this is the same guy who claims to love me the most in the whole world and who says uski wajah se meri izzat pe kabhi harf nahi aayega.
Why doesn't he get that it's wrong to be talking now? Why act so hostile?