Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
If you may also know, the naughty friends try to keep the couple away from their room for as long as possible for fun.
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
when it comes to sex, sleep takes a backseat (no pun intended :p)
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
Sleeping on the chair in staff lounge.
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
what sux the most is probably that everybody(parents, friends, aunties, uncles) know that that is what you're doing that night, it would be even worse if it's at the in-law's house, is it?
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
Islamically, you aren't required to consummate your marriage the first night together. as far as i know the wife can take 3 nights off from consummation if she isn't mentally ready for whatever reason, but after that she is obligated to acquiesce if he initiates or else the marriage becomes vulnerable to grounds for divorce.
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
Interesting.
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
Yeh kOn hain?? 
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
Thats not true...they have to do it before the valima...the pt of the man giving a reception is that everyone knows they have done it...islamically thats what a valima is...Yea couple is always sleepy day after shaddi its kind of funny every girl i know goes to her house day after shaddi and goes to sleep at her parents house ...Idk if any of u guys have witnessed this as well...The girls family also sends breakfast to her in - laws house the next day!
Islamically, you aren't required to consummate your marriage the first night together. as far as i know the wife can take 3 nights off from consummation if she isn't mentally ready for whatever reason, but after that she is obligated to acquiesce if he initiates or else the marriage becomes vulnerable to grounds for divorce.
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
Thats not true...they have to do it before the valima...the pt of the man giving a reception is that everyone knows they have done it...islamically thats what a valima is...Yea couple is always sleepy day after shaddi its kind of funny every girl i know goes to her house day after shaddi and goes to sleep at her parents house ...Idk if any of u guys have witnessed this as well...The girls family also sends breakfast to her in - laws house the next day!
While consummation before Walima would be sunnah, it doesn't mean that consummation after is not allowed. They are both acceptable. This 'jaiz' 'najaiz' walima is a Pakistani invention, just like holding the Quran over the head of the bride.
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
idk if anyone ever told u this...but ur avatar is sooo annoying! It really gets to me sometimes!...sorry this is off topic i know!
While consummation before Walima would be sunnah, it doesn't mean that consummation after is not allowed. They are both acceptable. This 'jaiz' 'najaiz' walima is a Pakistani invention, just like holding the Quran over the head of the bride.
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
Holding the Quran over the head is 1 out of the 1000 stupid/unecessary things we do in our marriages. I sometimes think about this as well, how do we expect Allah to bless our marriage if we start off on the wrong foot.
I can understand people wanting to do traditions or ceremonies (even if they are not Islamically okay to do) but WHY burden yourself for things that are not only a headach for yourself, but you're getting sin for it too. For example, giving/expecting jahez or bari.
For the guy holding the Quran over the girls head, I'm sure his arms starts hurting after awhile too lol
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
You should remember that the actual "wedding banquet" is not recognized in Islam; only the nikah ceremony and the reception that follows immediately after in which the bride and groom are presented as a married couple. Displaying the bride on a stage is also a form of bid'ah. Islam encourages consummation after the nikah and before the valima, so there is really no need for a "rukhsati" event. However it's permissible to delay the consummation months or years after the wedding. I was just saying that if 3 days post-nikah, the husband wishes to consummate and the bride is still hostile, he has the right to declare anullment/divorce. Obviously I doubt any of of us would be in such a situation or relationship where the hubby wouldn't be more patient and understanding iA. :)
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
To be honest, I've always felt that a couple having sex the day they get married who don't really even know each other, are close to each other and have good understanding is so bizarre. I mean it's like a one night stand - except that you're meant to spend the rest of ur life with the person u have the one night stand with! lol I guess people are horny and that's why they do it.
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
I agree with u! so true!
To be honest, I've always felt that a couple having sex the day they get married who don't really even know each other, are close to each other and have good understanding is so bizarre. I mean it's like a one night stand - except that you're meant to spend the rest of ur life with the person u have the one night stand with! lol I guess people are horny and that's why they do it.
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
Does the consummation HAVE to take place on the wedding night? Is that some religious rule or farz? Has it been considered that one of the partners may not be ready to have sex on the wedding night? It can be argued that the couple has their whole life to work on their consummating.....but the events/traditions that make up a wedding only come once. To each their own, live and let live.
To my knwoledge, its not farz to consummate the very first night, Yet infact its a sunnah and a likeable act for a muslim to Consummate the very first night. So in the nutshell, yes prioriting worldly affairs over God likeable actions shouldnt be.
Balance is imp, we can wind up the weddings early even if they are lavsihly planned. All rasm, photos etc can be timed up before 12am, and can leverage the bride and groom to their rooms by then.
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
Having said above, it is also important in the light of Islam to have the mutual consensus, comfort and willingness to consummate. If any or both or not comfortable the very first night, Islam doesnot force or question them for not fulfilling the sunnah. Yet, the core point in Islam is to develop or trigger "UNSIYAT" for each other i.e love that may or maynot lead to consummating the very first night.
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
**To be honest, I've always felt that a couple having sex the day they get married who don't really even know each other, are close to each other and have good understanding is so bizarre. **I mean it's like a one night stand - except that you're meant to spend the rest of ur life with the person u have the one night stand with! lol I guess people are horny and that's why they do it.
Me too..
Must be so strange for those girls who have always kept guys at arms length + never 'done' anything to suddenly be expected to jump into bed with a (more or less) stranger and just do it that very first night..
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
I don't quite think consummation of marriage has a deadline in Islam. There isn't a universally accepted process.
And I doubt girls are ready for a stranger to get on top (Or under them) on the first night. Obviously that goes for people who don't know each other that well. I'm sure any girl would be apprehensive at sharing a bed with, practically, a stranger. Give them time, no rush 'eh!
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
and what do they do next day? This is what they do. Larkee goes back to her house (larkay walay bring her back during breakfast time) and she spends rest of the days till Valima day, with her family (usually there is a one day gap between shadi and valima).
Only in Karachi weddings dude. In Punjabi weddings the bride stays at her husband's house, the bride's family brings her nashta the morning of valima, and then traditionally the night of valima the bride and groom spend the night and the next morning at the bride's house.
12-14 hours hour wedding rituals, starting from bridal make up
Bridal make up takes like...an hour, tops. Getting ready then maaaaaaaaaybe another hour. It's all the waiting in the parlor cuz there are just SO many other brides there getting ready. They're usually done and ready by 8. Then it's the groom's family that comes shaan say at least 2-3 hours late (which makes it 10-11 pm).
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
Maybe desis should do like the royals. A morning ceremony, a reception by lunch, an afternoon nap, and then plenty of time and energy to...get to know each other. :p