I want to keep the topic clean … but I want to make some observations ..
Consider this (and the actual list is way longer than this)
Pre wedding make up sessions
Heavy clothes (especially of dulhan)
Long ceremonies
Photo and video shoots
Our weddings take such a toll on both dulha and dulhan that I am sure that they have very little energy (and even lesser time) left, if any to have a ‘suhaag raat’. When you leave Dulha Dulhan alone at 4:00 AM in the morning, what are they gonna do but to sleep. Now I know that physical contact is not an obligation on the very first night but should that not be the most important thing?
In contrast, look at the Islamic wedding. In nutshell, dulha comes to dulhan’s house, few quests are there - after a short nikah ceremony and some greetings and maybe a small meal, dulhan goes back with dulha .. and they are ready (and fresh) to start their life from the very first day.
Where/when/why did we loose the charms of Suhaag Raat? Is that because Sex is no longer a mystery for us?
What are your thoughts on this.
**How much is too much when it comes to wedding ceremonies?
Should not **consummation of marriage be the most important thing on that very night of your life and be give due priority?
*PS: I know that I came back after a long time, but this is a multi and I am always around through my regular nick. I posted through this nick because most of you hated this nick of mine and I am loving it. *
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
Does the consummation HAVE to take place on the wedding night? Is that some religious rule or farz? Has it been considered that one of the partners may not be ready to have sex on the wedding night? It can be argued that the couple has their whole life to work on their consummating.....but the events/traditions that make up a wedding only come once. To each their own, live and let live.
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
Does the consummation HAVE to take place on the wedding night? Is that some religious rule or farz? Has it been considered that one of the partners may not be ready to have sex on the wedding night? It can be argued that the couple has their whole life to work on their consummating.....but the events/traditions that make up a wedding only come once. To each their own, live and let live.
Is that some religious rule or farz to have a photo shoot or 50 lbs heavy wedding outfit or an entrance dance?
And with the divorce and separation rate in our society, this argument does not hold much weight 'the events/traditions that make up a wedding only come once'
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
There is no Psyah786 nick
To answer the question, yes I do think that Weddings are long and tedious and by the time the bride and groom finally get to their room, they are too tired for any “activity.” Toh kya hua? They can talk and fall asleep…
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
So if I throw a religious card here, would that bother some of the posters here?
How do you expect a blessed life whose start is so non-Islamic in ever which way. Every sunnat is violated in our weddings, not to mention that the most important part of that night is now considered the least important part (consummation that is).
O I am sorry, there is one Islamic ritual left - rukhsati of bride while someone holding a copy of Quran above her head. That biddat is the only islamic (read, pseudo islamic) part left in our weddings and somehow we expect that Allah is going to bless our married life.
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
I refuse to believe that the dulha, no matter what he's been through, would actually be that exhausted that he'd hit the sack without even trying.
And yeah, that holding the wrapped up Quran above the head part, absolutely ridiculous. And the irony is that Quran probably hasn't been unwrapped to be read for years.
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
I refuse to believe that the dulha, no matter what he's been through, would actually be that exhausted that he'd hit the sack without even trying.
I think we had a thread about Suhag Raat where if I remember right, people did mention that 'trying' part did not happen. And one thing that I know about male ego rizla, no guy is going to 'try' it. Either he is going to do it, or not. No male is ready to show his bride that he is a failure when it comes to physical relation, and admitting in the middle of 'trying' that you are too tired or exhausted to go any further is nothing less than a failure for a guy.
Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
My other question would be, do couples really turn the lights off nowadays when that time comes? I think that with the lack of sharm o haya in our society, that phrase may no longer be true.
Salams MK. Velcome back jee.
