Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

why?? isn't the husband and wife supposed to be 'garments' to each other??

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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

The OP should know that some posters on this forum believe the action happens AFTER the lights have been turned off.

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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

Mujhe iis tarah ki threads parnay may zyada maza aata hai

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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

Firstly, I'm very amused by the fact that with ALL the other things that're happening in todays world....with ALL other other things that are part of a wedding/married life.......you're making "observations" about other people's sexual activity (or lack of) in THEIR wedding night.

1) It's upto an individual couple to decide what's "too much" when it comes to their wedding ceremonies. There is no 1 particular way that's "right". I know couples who did 5 full days of non-stop "events". On the other hand, I know couples that just had 1 single reception.

2) Again...back to a couples individual priorities. Whether or not sex should be given a high priority on the wedding night is upto the couple themselves and I see no reason for others to force their views on this.

Even without all the fancy wedding ceremonies....even with a simple nikah/dinner where the couple is in the bedroom by 9:00 p.m......what if one of them has a headache? Does a simple nikah GUARANTEE that the couple will still not be tired (physically or emotionally)? What if the couple is just not "in the mood"?

My personal views: Let other couples worry about their own wedding night and what happens between them behind closed doors. You worry/think about your own wedding night and what's a priority to YOU.

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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

:k:
p.s. i dont think there is any topic to be discussed over here…actually i dont even get the OP’s point of opening the thread…either he/she against the extravagance carried out in weddings or he/she just want to know that the couple should do “it” n their wedding night! The first point can be discussed of course and there are already many threads over this topict. As long as having sex on the wedding night is concerned, i think and as paheli said “what happens between them behind closed doors. You worry/think about your own wedding night and what’s a priority to YOU”
end of discussion :chai:

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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

I definitely see that I rubbed you the wrong way but I am not going to apologize for that cause you are just twisting and turning my words.

I dont care what couples do behind their closed doors but there was a time when things were arranged in mind to keep the probability of consummation, higher.

For starters, wedding dates were set by Larkee walay. That date was based as such, so the wedding night does not fall during the 'special monthly cycle' of the girl. Now a days dates are set based on when the wedding hall is available. In fact not many people know why historically 'larkee walay' used to pick the date.

I hope this one example shows that how much importance 'behind the door activities' were given, even by others, Cause after all that is what marriage is all about.

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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

what a weirdo…mind ur own business dude :confused: agree with the above!

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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

very good.

then please let this be the last post of yours in this thread.

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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

Throwing words like weirdo and freaks to new comers does not make you look cool. it makes you look stupid.

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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

I think the thread should be in the religion section, only then would some of your points really seem valid.

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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

I thought so too Pakwoman, but the crowd who might be interested in this topic is more active here. Plus I want to be honest, I dont like when people start cutting and pasting long long articles from web and somehow the Religion from crowd is master of that. Honestly, I am not interetsed what Sheikh Ahmed said about this or that, I want to know what you think about it.

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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

MK don’t worry , everybody who consents to a desi style wedding already knows what they are getting into and how to deal with all the stress , pressure , headache of that day err night. They know aik din err raat key paraishani hay phir saree zindagi k mazay hain. :silly:

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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

Jest aside, health wise, dulha dulhan would be fittest on their day of wedding. After that, daily dawatain for very very long time would make them fat and lazy (not to mention that high cholesterol unhelathy diet reduces the sexual appetite). Dont you think they are better off taking advantage of the first day and reduce the stress clutter if they can :smiley:

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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

Firstly, you did not rub me the wrong way and I am not asking or expecting an apology for you for any reason.

As for your "history" lesson......2 comments:

1) Times have changed. I can't comment on the way things are done in Pakistan/India etc. But at least here in the U.S., among my own social circle, the bride/groom both play a major part in planning the wedding. Wedding date, venue, guest list etc. are not "decided" on by the parents without consulting the bride/groom.

2) Just because things were done a certain way back in the days...that doesn't make it "right". There was a time where the bride and groom saw each other for the first time on their wedding day. Do you know anyone who got married within the last few years and NEVER met or spoke to their fiance before the wedding day? I don't. So yes....there was a time when both families discussed the girl's period cycle to come up with a wedding day but that doesn't mean that it should still be done today.

Furthermore....just b/c the families picked a wedding date when the girl's not on her period....did that GUARANTEE that the couple would have sex on the first night?

Going back to my original view.......you do what you feel is right for you and your marriage. Let other couples do what they feel is right for theirs.

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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

can I give you the same advice and expect you to be not so pushy and aggressive about your POV.

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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

MK, put your hands where we can see!

Also, Pakistani kuriyan are very sharmeeli. (shattap, don't laugh, they are!) The main reason for this being the gender segregation and other cultural/religious restrictions in our community. They're hardly going to feel at ease on the very first day so you mard hazraat please control your hormones until she's comfortable enough to consummate the marriage which I doubt would be on the very first night.

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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

iss ka kya matlab hai?? :konfused:

Don’t Generalize…thats bad thing to do :no:

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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

I agree with you that Pakistan girls are sharmeeli in nature (FOB, local or ABCD), but that is not the point here. Maybe if people are having so much trouble with the word 'consumate', lets turn it into 'get to know each other night'. DO you think that husband wife communication is importnat that night? In fact I believe that couple should have enough time (2-3 hours) where they talk to each other and learn about each other before jumping on each other like bunch of sex starved teenagers.

All that exhaustion of our wedding rituals dont leave them with the time and energy to do any of such, I think

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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

^

hmm yeah I agree with that.

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Re: Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat

bunch??