Eh, how did some people here come to the conclusion that moving out of your parents home means that you have abandoned them? Some geniuses we have here...really.
They're missing the point mashAllah as badly as Pakistan were missing catches
Re: why...
yes and tht is why shak is double posting everything. hoping we get the point he is trying to make
We are not saying moving out of the home abandons them, some parents might want that (well no Paki ones), we are saying disobeying them or hurting them is haram.
Look at these hadith, and then stop arguing.
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) said: “One, who follows the orders of Allah with regards to obeying parents,* shall have two doors of Paradise opened up for him. And if there happens to be only one parent, one door of Paradise shall open up for him.”*
* *
[RIGHT][RIGHT]Kanzul `Ummal, Volume 16, Page 67[/RIGHT][/RIGHT]
so if my parents tell me not to leave, I should obey.
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) said: “One who pleases his parents has verily pleased Allah, and one who has angered his parents has verily angered Allah.”**
[RIGHT][RIGHT]Kanzul `Ummal, Volume 16, Page 470[/RIGHT][/RIGHT]
so if by leaving I displease them, I anger Allah.
**[A person once approached the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) and said: “I have an old father and mother, who due to their attachment towards me, are not keen for me to go to Jihad.”] **
[Hearing this], the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him and his family) said: “(If such is the case then) Stay with your parents for, by the One in whose control lies my soul, their attachment of one day and one night to you is better than one year of Jihad.”
[RIGHT][RIGHT]Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 82[/RIGHT][/RIGHT]
Even taking care of your parents is more important then Jihad, do I really have to say anything more???
If your parents are attached to you, and you move out just cause some wife demands you to, then you are an idiot.
Wife = over in 3 words, parents = bond for life.
yes and tht is why shak is double posting everything. hoping we get the point he is trying to make
Problem in computer :(
Re: why...
So basically EDAL would rather remain a virgin all his life but let a women (his wife) tell him she wants to mov out
Re: why...
^If his mom would tell him exactly this, he would. :)
We are not saying moving out of the home abandons them, some parents might want that (well no Paki ones), we are saying disobeying them or hurting them is haram.
Look at these hadith, and then stop arguing.
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) said: “One, who follows the orders of Allah with regards to obeying parents,* shall have two doors of Paradise opened up for him. And if there happens to be only one parent, one door of Paradise shall open up for him.”*
[RIGHT][RIGHT]Kanzul `Ummal, Volume 16, Page 67[/RIGHT] [/RIGHT]
so if my parents tell me not to leave, I should obey.
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) said: “One who pleases his parents has verily pleased Allah, and one who has angered his parents has verily angered Allah.”**
[RIGHT][RIGHT]Kanzul `Ummal, Volume 16, Page 470[/RIGHT] [/RIGHT] so if by leaving I displease them, I anger Allah.
**[A person once approached the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) and said: “I have an old father and mother, who due to their attachment towards me, are not keen for me to go to Jihad.”] **
[Hearing this], the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him and his family) said: “(If such is the case then) Stay with your parents for, by the One in whose control lies my soul, their attachment of one day and one night to you is better than one year of Jihad.”
[RIGHT][RIGHT]Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 82[/RIGHT] [/RIGHT]
Even taking care of your parents is more important then Jihad, do I really have to say anything more???
If your parents are attached to you, and you move out just cause some wife demands you to, then you are an idiot.
Wife = over in 3 words, parents = bond for life.
And If your momma tells you to divorce your wife, you'll do that. No matter how good of a wife she is, you'll obey your parents,yeah? Momma's little cuchi cuchi.
Reminds me of this thread, where the guy told us how he did everything his parents told him. Like not letting his wife call her parents in Pakistan, and not letting her wear any jewelry etc.
Like I said, we are reasoning with brick walls here.
Re: why...
let Edal decide he wants to remain celibate and not spawn kids. amen.
Re: why...
If you go back to my previous posts, I said you can't obey them if they tell you to do something which Allah has forbid. Mom telling you to divorce your wife for no good reason would be one of those things.
Remember, its Allah, his rasul, THEN Parents.
But as the prophet said, you spending a few days with them is worth more than Jihad, that shows the level they are at.
Re: why...
1) I am talking about parents here
*2) By using the word "Hindu culture" are you trying to stay living with your parents is haram? Thats utter bs and you know it. *
You are just pulling stuff out of thin air. I have mentioned Quranic verses, authenthic hadiths, which show the honor and rights of parents.
3) The prophet was an orphan and I think many of his companions parents were not alive at that time. Also in Beduoin culture, the various tribes were always living in close quarters.
If your look at the Quran and hadith, parents have huge rights on their sons.
Now look at this scenario.
If someone had asked the prophet that "my wife wants me to go to another house, but my mom wants me to stay with her, as she would be sad if I left" He would have told you to stay and look after your mother and wife.
Yes, it is 100% haram to live with inlaws if other non-mehrams are living there eg. BIL. If u want to carry on mixing up Islam with Hinduism that's down to u.. Why, is it only desis move their DILs into the inlaws home whilst practically all other Muslim cultures more commonly have them living in separate apartments or houses?? Is it only Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi Muslims who are practising this 'true' version of Islam lol
As for 'pulling stuff out of thin air', u seriously think u know better than those top scholars at Sunnipath, Islam Q&A and IslamOnline?? How is it that all their info seems to be contradicting you making out it's preferable to live with inlaws??
Why can't you post ONE reliable reference clearly stating that it is better or recommended for a DIL to move in with her inlaws??? You won't be able to because it doesn't exist. Anyone can quote Qur'an or hadith out of context to try and support their argument the way u have. **NONE of ur quotes explicity mentions the DIL living with inlaws **yet all of mine do.
Re: why...
If you go back to my previous posts, I said you can't obey them if they tell you to do something which Allah has forbid. Mom telling you to divorce your wife for no good reason would be one of those things.
Remember, its Allah, his rasul, THEN Parents.
But as the prophet said, you spending a few days with them is worth more than Jihad, that shows the level they are at.
It is not only things that are forbidden, u only follow them as long as others' (ie wife in this case) rights which have been explicitly given are not trampled on.
Re: why...
Yes, it is 100% haram to live with inlaws if other non-mehrams are living there eg. BIL. If u want to carry on mixing up Islam with Hinduism that's down to u.. Why, is it only desis move their DILs into the inlaws home whilst practically all other Muslim cultures more commonly have them living in separate apartments or houses?? Is it only Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi Muslims who are practising this 'true' version of Islam lol
As for 'pulling stuff out of thin air', u seriously think u know better than those top scholars at Sunnipath, Islam Q&A and IslamOnline?? How is it that all their info seems to be contradicting you making out it's preferable to live with inlaws??
Why can't you post ONE reliable reference clearly stating that it is better or recommended for a DIL to move in with her inlaws??? You won't be able to because it doesn't exist. Anyone can quote Qur'an or hadith out of context to try and support their argument the way u have. **NONE of ur quotes explicity mentions the DIL living with inlaws **yet all of mine do.
I am only talking about Parents here, not the whole extended family.
Also why can't you post a single thing which says that a man should abandon his parents if his wife asks
**
I posted a whole hadith where prophet tells you, that you shouldn't even leave your parents for JIHAD if their attached to you** :P
Re: why...
Eh, how did some people here come to the conclusion that moving out of your parents home means that you have abandoned them? Some geniuses we have here...really.
Exactly.. some very simple-minded people on here today.. I wonder if they see living away at college as 'abandoning' their parents as well..
Re: why...
Wife = over in 3 words, parents = bond for life.
Brother, these are very harsh words. I do agree with many of yor arguements, but please don't make it seem that a wife is some kind of disposable commodity if she doesn't obey your commands. I am sure, any sensible wife would if spoken to kindly, gently would make some adjustment with the in laws.
I think generally it depends on the individuals, some can take the son leaving some can not, some parents are emotionally demanding some are not. My own MIL for example, Allah bless her, she lacks self confidence, needs constant reassurance when she's not feeling well, doesn't speak much, a person like this could not manage alone. My own mum is different in the way that that if she is feeling down she will grab her car keys drive over to me/her friend or whatever she wants to do, and if she can't do that then she will still get by mashallah. She lives with my MARRIED BROTHER.
Everyones circumstances are different, no one should be judged if they do or do not live in the joint system.
It works for some it doesn't for others. That's life!!!!
Re: why...
I am only talking about Parents here, not the whole extended family.
Also why can't you post a single thing which says that a man should abandon his parents if his wife asks ** I posted a whole hadith where prophet tells you, that you shouldn't even leave your parents for JIHAD if their attached to you** :P
Because the wife's rights have been clearly spelled out and NO-ONE has the authority to take them away from her. Moving out does not equal 'abandoning.' If u really believe that I feel sorry for you..
Re: why...
Because the wife's rights have been clearly spelled out and NO-ONE has the authority to take them away from her. Moving out does not equal 'abandoning.' If u really believe that I feel sorry for you..
Because the wife's rights have been clearly spelled out and NO-ONE has the authority to take them away from her. Moving out does not equal 'abandoning.' If u really believe that I feel sorry for you..
Pardon my choice of words, I mean hurting not abandoning.
Where does it say you can hurt your parents feelings and leave them, (if leaving them causes them pain and sadness, loneliness ) just cause your wife wants to decorate her own house?
Where does it say wife has to have her own full separate house? No where. Again I am just talking about your parents here, which are mehram to her.
If prophet told us not to go to Jihad if it hurt your parents, then wife certainly can't tell you to leave.
If you are their only son left, and you are moving out, and their crying, is that Islamic??? Hell no.
For what, some wife? Who you can have 4 of, and you will get plenty of in heaven! pfft.
*
I'd never leave my mom and dad. I know they'll cry and be lonely, as its a large empty house. All siblings in other states, so I can't leave them. Ever. Wife has plenty of privacy here, has her own separate restroom too, her own car. Illegal immigrant Mexican lady comes to do most of the house cleaning! What more does a girl want?*
All my mom and dad want is a little company, and chit chat. Nothing more, or less. Also their hoping for grand kids to play with. Things I would want too in the future.
If my wife ever became rude to them or wanted to move out, kick on the butt and out the door.
This is my last post about this topic, agree to disagree.
**
***Brothers, all I will say is stay away from girls who are demanding you to move out. You will regret it sooner or later.* No girl is worth your mother and father, serve them as long as they live.
Re: why...
When the Quran or Prophet (PBUH) talk about how we are to be with our parents is DOES NOT differentiate between wifes parents or the husbands. Each child is this duniya is to care for their OWN parents.
EDAL: I would like to ask you, what about the families who have no sons? Should each one of those daughters also dedicate their lives in pleasing their husband and in-laws? What happens to those parents in old age? Who will take care of them when they get sick? If need be, who will financially take care of them?
I would never marry anyone who would not equally take care of my parents as I would his. In my eyes there is no difference on who's parents we're taking about after marriage, I accept my in-laws to gain a daughter and my own parents to gain a son when I get married. So both parents and families are of equal importance.
Re: why...
tht would b possible only if ur guy is living jst bside ur street or ur city... but in case u hav to go som other country after getting married then ?
Re: why...
women please stay away from guys like EDAL. any guy who tells you that he will not live seperately after marriage is NOT worth it no matter how hot, sexy and good in bed he is!! stay far away from such guys. they will bring you nothing but misery. nothing good can come out of men who are living with parents EVER. they think women are disposable.
Re: why…
Don’t you know, when these young men are away at college and getting it on with all the available girls, they’re following the righteous path. Parents - what parents? The guys are doing their sacred duty and spreading Islam (or something) to all non-Muslim girls. 
Re: why…
Yup so they can get it out of their system and later on not cheat on their wives. so in a way, it’s islamic to be promiscuous before marriage according to some people here