I will let you ladies have your discussion/ventilation after saying a few words.
I have made it very clear in direct words to my family that we will have babies when we think is the best time. I do not let pressure overcome me. They understand me loud and clear and that is the reason they do not ask me that question anymore. It's Mrs. who gets under pressure and lets them ask this question again and again. I have suggested her if anyone asks again, refer them to me and I would love to talk to them.
Mom also understands, or pretends that she does, and I respect her feelings/wish to become a grandma. It's mostly when she talks to her friends and I don't know what they ask/tell her. It's after those conversations when she starts it all over again with Mrs.
Oh well.
Mr Shikra, you are just like my husband. He thinks exactly like that as well. I get asked and told a lot of things which i dont think concerns me and doesnt concern anyone else and my husband advises me to tell that person to have a word with him instead. WORKS every single time - actually everyone shuts up as soon as they hear the husbands name.
Mrs Shikra - pehlay to tum nay meray pms ka jawab kio nahey dia? :ASA:
Secondly, ignore these people. Its actually a generation thing. They had kids very early as soon as they got married that is why they are pestering us. I get that alot. Infact we went to a function once and alot of my husbands family was there. His bari phuppo was there and asked me "koi khushkhubri hai ya nahey" - i just say inshallah inshallah. So does my husband - he says that as well. Then she went and spoke to my MIL and said that i need to get a check up incase something is wrong. I got offended and referred to my husband who just said ignore them...old generation etc etc..
Ignore it yar...they have nothing better to do...:K337: < i had to use this emoticon --- i am in love with this one! Hehe...
I am Allah Mian’s lawyer is this case , why do throw every thing back on him .
If you are sensible and educated enough to use precautions when you want then you should also know how to put it in right words when questioned. Why not tell people straight away that you are waiting for the right time in your own terminology .
Isn’t it funny ? either using precautions or having difficulties in conceiving , Just blame it on Allah . ‘ bas Jee , Jabh Allah ki marzi ‘.
This attitude should get changed and people for heaven sake start calling a spade a spade .
isi baat ker tou der lagta hai…i am too scared to do that
I totally understand that k they love us that is why they care for our future…thats true for my close family but most desi aunties just love to gossip…they dont have anything better to do so they pick on people like me who they know wont talk back…if they love us sooooo much then they should understand us…okee i understand they have to ask but i think one time is enough but if they ask you the same question like everytime they see you its just they want to annoy the hell out of you and they are waiting for you to do “batameezi” with them and phir they can gossip about that k “flan kee bahu bari batameez hai”
**EVERYBODY ELSE…**lets all mil ker find a soultion for this problem…but again i think there is no solution
I am Allah Mian’s lawyer is this case , why do throw every thing back on him .
If you are sensible and educated enough to use precautions when you want then you should also know how to put it in right words when questioned.Why not tell people straight away that you are waiting for the right time in your own terminology .
Isn’t it funny ? either using precautions or having difficulties in conceiving , Just blame it on Allah . ‘ bas Jee , Jabh Allah ki marzi ‘.
This attitude should get changed and people for heaven sake start calling a spade a spade .
It is Allah ke marzi...people get pregnant even when they are on some kind of precaution....we can do nothing in life without Allah merzi.....and you really think telling all these aunties about our birthcontrol methods will help...trust me it will create more problems....and god forbid if in future you have problem conceiving the baby due to natural causes guess who will be blamed...the girl for using birth control...and all her life she would have to listen to people criticizing her.
p.s....are you married???if not then its not your fault to think like this right now!
To be or not to be : that is the question :whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer the nappies and less sleep because of outrageous fortune ( kids) . or to take arms against the sea of troubles ( Mother in law and other aunties ) and by opposing end them asking : Bahuu kee koi khush’khabrii ? :D
To be or not to be : that is the question :whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer the nappies and less sleep because of outrageous fortune ( kids) . or to take arms against the sea of troubles ( Mother in law and other aunties ) and by opposing end them asking : Bahuu kee koi khush’khabrii ? :D
Unfortunately it never ends. I have one son and three daughters, and everyone thinks that my son is “lonely” and needs a brother. What on earth will he do with a brother that is 15-16 years younger than him?
Be polite with your mother-in-law, it sounds as though she is fine most of the time. I am sure that she understands that why you and your husband are waiting. A friend and I were discussing this the other day, and she was concerned that her children won’t have kids while she is still “young enough to fully enjoy them.” When aunties get together we come home with all sorts of ideas :halo:
Feel free to use the snippy comebacks that some here have suggested on the occasional unrelated aunty you rarely see - it keeps them on their toes.
I don't see what's so hard about saying, "Inshallah! You will be the first one to know soon" with a mischevious smile and then just changing the subject. Start discussing about where she shops for clothes or something. That will keep them guessing whether you're trying to have one or that you ARE preggie and hiding it.
I used the same technique when aunties were pestering me to get married.
"Shaadi kab kar rahi ho?"
With a big smile on my face: "Dekhen, Inshallah, you will be the first one to know!" Then I would start talking about THEIR daughter if they had one or something silly like, "you'll dance at my wedding, right?"
That made it seem like a mystery as well as getting them all excited for nothing. Now instead of asking me the same question, they ask me what they should wear or do at the wedding, haha, and I haven't even told them I am engaged yet. Why bother telling them about my long-term bf and how we plan to get engaged when we are atleast 23. I had no issues telling this to my friends when they asked but why bother with aunties? There is this huge generation gap and the mentality will not change. You gotta talk to them in the language THEY will understand. I did the same with my mom (I feel so bad). She kept asking when the guy and I were going to get married, and she always tried to rush me. He would call and like an idiot tell her, "not till I am done with med school" which obviously freaked my mom out. So my way of putting it off was, oh his mom will call you in a month or so.. and finally a year later she did so now it's all good. Do the same man, keep playing it off till you are preggers. Don't do it with your saas though, just the annoying aunties.
You can either be too scared and keep going through the same thing over and over again…or step up to the plate and tell them “ask Sohail.” You can even blame it on me. Say “I want to have kids but Sohail doesn’t, can you please talk to him and convince him”. Let them come to me and then watch how they will not only stop asking you the question again, they will even stop talking to you. We’ll have peace of mind.
That’s because he’s a smart man like me Seriously speaking, the way girls’ nature works is that they would rather hear the same thing over and over and keep smiling or answering in a nice way than give a crisp reply and nip it in the bud.
Guys, on the other hand, like to solve problems. If something is bothering me, I will actually do something about it so that it doesn’t keep recurring and that way I get my peace of mind.
That’s why you see less guys complaining in life1 than girls
You can either be too scared and keep going through the same thing over and over again........or step up to the plate and tell them "ask Sohail." You can even blame it on me. Say "I want to have kids but Sohail doesn't, can you please talk to him and convince him". Let them come to me and then watch how they will not only stop asking you the question again, they will even stop talking to you. We'll have peace of mind.
aww... what a wonderful husband you have got Mrs. Shikra. MashAllah.
You can either be too scared and keep going through the same thing over and over again........or step up to the plate and tell them "ask Sohail." You can even blame it on me. Say "I want to have kids but Sohail doesn't, can you please talk to him and convince him". Let them come to me and then watch how they will not only stop asking you the question again, they will even stop talking to you. We'll have peace of mind.
That's because he's a smart man like me :D Seriously speaking, the way girls' nature works is that they would rather hear the same thing over and over and keep smiling or answering in a nice way than give a crisp reply and nip it in the bud.
Guys, on the other hand, like to solve problems. If something is bothering me, I will actually do something about it so that it doesn't keep recurring and that way I get my peace of mind.
That's why you see less guys complaining in life1 than girls :D
I am gonna try that next time they ask creepy questions:D
You can either be too scared and keep going through the same thing over and over again........or step up to the plate and tell them "ask Sohail." You can even blame it on me. Say "I want to have kids but Sohail doesn't, can you please talk to him and convince him". Let them come to me and then watch how they will not only stop asking you the question again, they will even stop talking to you. We'll have peace of mind.
That's because he's a smart man like me :D Seriously speaking, the way girls' nature works is that they would rather hear the same thing over and over and keep smiling or answering in a nice way than give a crisp reply and nip it in the bud.
Guys, on the other hand, like to solve problems. If something is bothering me, I will actually do something about it so that it doesn't keep recurring and that way I get my peace of mind.
That's why you see less guys complaining in life1 than girls :D
Hahah...thats is SOO like my husband! Oh my GOd, you are not his long lost twin are you?
^ Yeah, but refer them to YOUR hubby, not to me :D
In fact, do this.
Aunty: Koi khush khabri?
You: (don't even reply to her - call your hubby) suniyeeeeeee, yeh aunty pooch rahi hain k hum khush khabri kab dengey
That should scare her away.
Why do wifeys call their hubbys "suniyeeeeee"...its such a desi thing to do...hehe...it makes my laugh...a friend of mind does that and i really have to control my laughter...
Hahah...thats is SOO like my husband! Oh my GOd, you are not his long lost twin are you?
Why do wifeys call their hubbys "suniyeeeeee"...its such a desi thing to do...hehe...it makes my laugh...a friend of mind does that and i really have to control my laughter...
May be we separated in the kumm ka mela :D and I suggested "suniyeeeeeeee" because I don't know her husband's name and I didn't want to say "X, come here"
May be we separated in the kumm ka mela :D and I suggested "suniyeeeeeeee" because I don't know her husband's name and I didn't want to say "X, come here"
we got married july 2006 too! but alhamdulilah my mil is really understanding, the only time she asked was after a few months when ppl were starting to ask her whats going on and she wasnt sure what to say, so she asked my husband; she jokes about it every now and then but alhamdulilah she understands that i want to finish school etc
as far as random aunties go-- i usually dont see very many and the ones i do see are nice so it works out well :)
It's a big mela (fare) in India and in Hindi movies, they usually use this phrase when someone is lost or when 2 people meet after a long time. "Kumm k meley mein kho gaye they kia?"...........so since your hubby and I are alike, may be we both were attending the fair long time ago and got separated. Now we have met again. Get it?
It's a big mela (fare) in India and in Hindi movies, they usually use this phrase when someone is lost or when 2 people meet after a long time. "Kumm k meley mein kho gaye they kia?"...........so since your hubby and I are alike, may be we both were attending the fair long time ago and got separated. Now we have met again. Get it?
I Get it! I knew what a mela was but not kumm...funny funny!
Seriously speaking, the way girls’ nature works is that they would rather hear the same thing over and over and keep smiling or answering in a nice way than give a crisp reply and nip it in the bud.
She’s busy working on her project any way, so I am not going to bother her.