baby weight!!people hate!!!

[diwana]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

@nadz123

Getting fed up with (all pakistani women) saying haii weight kam karo na..to me, i had my baby 4 months back, and weight loss for me is hard…nothing dropped off me, i was still huge, and my MIL is expecting me back in my shaadi walen kapre..and keeps saying weight lose karo yeh mat khao woh mat khao…

now problem is, I AM TRYING, but its hard…ive lost a little, not alot like i wouldve before baby…ive gone gym, ate good, but still its not working magic like it used to…ive lost barely half stone…and my body naturally retains weightanyway

now whats the smart answer to say to these people…without sounding rude…esp to MIL…im tired of being pressured to lose weight, even my husband is like r u mad, why u wanting to lose it soo quickly, aram say ho jayga…but its women who are another womans enemy…

now im not senstive either, but theres a limit to how much a new mother can take, ive got enough stresses, i dont need people telling me to lose weight fast, especially when i know i want to lose it too BUT its just not dropping off as i expected.

so what to do?
im sure other women may understand the annoyance of it all…

@nadz123

its p*** take when i get told to stop eating choclates especiually when i havent had one for 3 months…grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

@Jolie

Please don’t take this whole pressurizing just to rebel back and fall for this whole wishy washy oh just ignore it stuff!

The women I know who were successful with losing the weight were the ones that actually used the pressure as a healthy way to speed up their process of losing weight, you are not the only one going through this. I know you are trying but I guess you are also perhaps over reacting to your MIL’s remarks. My sister is happily lost in this oh I ignore people and I’m takking my time bluff, as a result even after three years of giving birth, people still hesitate to call her my mother’s daughter, because of the weight she looks ten years older than her actual age. She feels offended but we don’t because whenever we used to tell her to look after herself, she would go into this ‘ignore it’ and moany little girl mode.

@Jolie

I don’t think I was really advocating women to perfectly go back to their pre-pregnancy ‘shape’ - I don’t believe that myself. What I generally have a problem with desi women going up in arms the moment they’re suggested to shape up. They unnecessarily get offended even if the comments come from their closed ones. It takes a mature and level headed woman to appreciate the good intentions and concerns behind those comments and take them as an encouragement to step up their game. I can only say so much on Nadz’s case, but this is just my view from real life experiences. Personally I think last thing you should really say to a desi woman is to shape up, no matter who you are or how you say it, she’ll take it as grave insult and fume endlessly. Those who are serious about their weight and shape will sort them out, whether they’re told by anyone or not.

@Jolie

Please don’t take this whole pressurizing just to rebel back and fall for this whole wishy washy oh just ignore it stuff!

The women I know who were successful with losing the weight were the ones that actually used the pressure as a healthy way to speed up their process of losing weight, you are not the only one going through this. I know you are trying but I guess you are also perhaps over reacting to your MIL’s remarks. My sister is happily lost in this oh I ignore people and I’m takking my time bluff, as a result even after three years of giving birth, people still hesitate to call her my mother’s daughter, because of the weight she looks ten years older than her actual age. She feels offended but we don’t because whenever we used to tell her to look after herself, she would go into this ‘ignore it’ and moany little girl mode.

@diwana

Stop eating and blame yourself.

The argument of ‘none of your business’ and being adamant on staying fat/overweight is wrong.

If someone says you need to lose weight, BE THANKFUL to that person who points this out. ..and BE REALISTIC.

There is no excuse …including having been pregnanat… to be fat.

**Both men and women should not find any ‘excuse’ for being fat or overweight and should be humble. **

Read carefully: Those who do not care to point out how you look are NOT your friends.

@Jolie

No its none of those things. Its her larger than life ego.

@stoppit

I’m with your mil tbh.

You’re young and you’ve had your first kid, not third. It’s been 4 months, not 4 weeks. I don’t think you’re kidding anyone with the “I’m eating healthy, I’m trying” BS.

You just want mental backup for your idea that your MIL is wrong for suggesting it.

@diwana

**First I do not want to sound as if I am pointing fingers on women only for the sake of criticizing. **

It is in the benfit of women to get back in shape quickly for their own mental and physical well being.

Your calculation is off.

Here it is for anyone’s interest an info.

The weight gain during pregnancy for normal weight women (BMI between 18.5-24.9) and the reasons are as follows:

• Baby: 7 to 8 pounds (about 3 to 3.6 kilograms)
• Larger breasts: 1 to 3 pounds (about .5 to 1.4 kilograms)
• Larger uterus: 2 pounds (about 1 kilogram)
• Placenta: 1 1/2 pounds (about .7 kilogram)
• Amniotic fluid: 2 pounds (about 1 kilogram)
• Increased blood volume: 3 to 4 pounds (about 1.4 to 1.8 kilograms)
• Increased fluid volume: 3 to 4 pounds (about 1.4 to 1.8 kilograms)
• Fat stores: 6 to 8 pounds (about 2.7 to 3.6 kilograms)

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pregnancy-weight-gain/PR00111/NSECTIONGROUP=2

So it is not 15 pounds as you said, she will need to work against, it is 6-8 pounds or lets just say up to 10 pounds.

Besides, if she breast feeds, she can lose 500 calories per day. This help her lose weight further provided she does not overcompensate by eating more than required calories.

In essence, it is not unrealistic for a woman to lose weight gained in pregnancy within 6-8 weeks. That’s up to two months! Plenty of time.

All bets are off if woman goes out of control and eats junk/high calorie diet without thinking.

There are women who are health conscious and have lost even extra weight by engaging in good exercise program after normal pregnancy.

Let me know if you or anyone needs help in getting back in shape after pregnancy, there are guidelines and recommendations available.

@Reha

I understand and felt a little bad writing this too but it had to be done. Im sure you mean well and are just trying to help but how would you know you’re being tactless if we dont tell you? It just helps in getting your point across.

Much like how you tell all these women they’re all fat and have no excuse to be fat…how else would they know these things?

Very well Reha!

These are some of the posts from this thread.

I did not select those which I think were wrong advice to OP. Hope you agree too.

Start from the first two posts of OP and then tell me if OP did not actually come out too sensitive and bashing all Pakistani women?

The attitude was as if someone who advices is wrong and she is the ‘victim’.

In my first post I included men also in my advice, so what is the problem?

People need to read my posts carefully as I ‘try to’ choose words very carefully also.

This pregnancy issue by SOME women is overblown and it makes family life miserable for people who have to deal with ‘these’ women. True or not?