Re: Baby talk right after marriage
^lol
Stab one of them, the rest will stop automatically.
I agree--stab them with a sharp knife. Words :D
Re: Baby talk right after marriage
when aunties ask me "koi Khuskhabri?" i use to say "ap dua karein k jub b khushkhabri ho to khuskhabri rahay b" cz i had two miscargz last year.. though we are TTC since 4 months (no luck yet) but i also tell some aunties that docs have asked me to wait for atleast one year before trying again..
summorani u r right, these questions are sometimes really very annoying..
Re: Baby talk right after marriage
Meher, I feel like punching those insensitive aunties for you! May Allah swt give your bundle of joy soon, Inshallah!
So I got married about 8 months ago and whenever I talk to my husband's mom's side of the family, they always ask me when I'm giving them the "khush khabri". I politely tell them "not now" not only is it uncomfortable specially since I've only met these people only once in my life and don't even remember their faces, but quite frankly now it's getting very annoying. Also, it's none of their business. And finally, how do u tell them to shut up about it specially when they start forcing it down ur throat that u should have a baby soon. They would probably die if I told them I'm not planning on kids for atleast five yrs. They would further roll over in their graves if I told them that it's because I wanna have a carefree life style and travel the world with my husband before I become responsible for another human being and I feel that I'm too young. Stupid nosy aunties. At the same time, I don't wanna sound totally disrespectful when I tell them it's none of their business. Any suggestions?
show them this post of yours...they will shut up automatically...
i think this is a common problem. actually, the best way is to really 'NOT CARE' and just roll your eyes rudely when they ask you this question again as if you are telling them with your eyes that its none of their business and you will do when you like and not because they're pushing you.
I don't know if it also makes much sense to you, but psychologically, those people also feel superior when they find someone like you who feels intimidated by them when they make such outrageous demands of their daughters-in-law and especially feel very happy not because of they child's birth but because they think there daughter in law only had to do this big task because they forced her to.
Do you honestly beleive those old aunties don't understand that it is only you who knows best when and when not to have children of your own with your husband?
THey've lived their lives, you have the right to live yours. By insisting that you have children, they know they are forcing you and if they know they are not doing the right thing, you might as well!
Re: Baby talk right after marriage
i think this is a common problem. actually, the best way is to really 'NOT CARE' and just roll your eyes rudely when they ask you this question again as if you are telling them with your eyes that its none of their business and you will do when you like and not because they're pushing you.
I don't know if it also makes much sense to you, but psychologically, those people also feel superior when they find someone like you who feels intimidated by them when they make such outrageous demands of their daughters-in-law and especially feel very happy not because of they child's birth but because they think there daughter in law only had to do this big task because they forced her to.
Numb:
Of course, you are Allah and can look in their hearts and see that these parents' demand is, that she is now a baby-producing machine...
Do you honestly beleive those old aunties don't understand that it is only you who knows best when and when not to have children of your own with your husband?
Numb:
*Do you honestly believe that they want to tease wife and husband? Ever asked why they ask her about having a baby? Ever said "Aunt, why do you want me to have kids? What is the reason? *
THey've lived their lives, you have the right to live yours. By insisting that you have children, they know they are forcing you and if they know they are not doing the right thing, you might as well!
Numb:
*This generation and a few of the previous are disgusting generations. You were not the only one, you all were not the only ones who have been asked when is the Baby coming! Your Parents faced these question, too. In the past it was for the whole family a happines when a newcomer arrived this world. Today it is seen as a Maa-rtyrdom! and then they dare to come into the net and show us how to be parents. The Parenting section is a joke here @GS. *
*Ever asked the own mother why they expect us to have kids. Ever talked openly amd asked these people why they do that? Why do they (allegedly) force us to have kids? *
*Today I bet, that most of you will become the same aunties in 30+40 years and then talk gibberish "When is the baby coming" or even worse. *
have a nice one
Re: Baby talk right after marriage
^ another gasp
I actually kind of agree with the 1st two points. There might be that 1/2 odd aunty who will ask things outof malice but most of htem either ask out of genuine care (where they are coming from, nphysically, emotionally etc, a child is a big joy) or well just habit! ITs' only annoying b/c its not just one person who asks but every other person. Same thing happened with me wrt to my marriage, every person asking the same thing over and over--
have a nice one
Please don't barrage this thread with ridiculous answers. In addition, please read my posts carefully as the others have. There are people close to me that ask me when we are planning on kids and I answer them truthfully. A distant in law of mine has no business asking me this question. Even if my parents and their patents were asked the same questions, it doesn't make it right. Hopefully you will know that there are a lot of traditions in the paki culture that just are wrong and shouldn't be there and just because something is a tradition, it doesn't make it right.
I answer truthfully to those women that care for me and my and my husbands happiness. The other women are just nosy and neither do I nor does my husband have a close relationship with them. Therefore yes, it does bring great joy to a family when someone is pregnant but to those people, trust me it does not. Actually they will be happier knowing that they forced me to have a baby( which will never happen). Please read my posts clearly as I'm asking for suggestions to get these women off my back so they will stop asking at the same time I don't want be extremely rude.
I don't care to ask them why they want me to have a baby because I don't care about what they want. I don't need to please them or their ego in any way.
Lastly, just because I got married, it doesn't make me a baby-producing machine. I already feel bad for your future DIL.
Re: Baby talk right after marriage
This too pisses me off at times. The wife has already been telling me that nosy aunties have been asking her if there’s any good news on the horizon. I pretty much told her if she’s asked again, tell em we’ve both taken a pact to remain celibate for 2 years. 
Re: Baby talk right after marriage
^lol i wanna see the aunty when someone says that. haha
I answer truthfully to those women that care for me and my and my husbands happiness. The other women are just nosy and neither do I nor does my husband have a close relationship with them. Therefore yes, it does bring great joy to a family when someone is pregnant but to those people, trust me it does not. Actually they will be happier knowing that they forced me to have a baby( which will never happen). Please read my posts clearly as I'm asking for suggestions to get these women off my back so they will stop asking at the same time I don't want be extremely rude.
i dont know whether u have encountered or not but there is another group of aunties who will be more than happy, within their hearts, if they ever come to know that you are having difficulty in conceiving.(they themselves presumes this as well)
this is very unfortunate, but have such kind of aunty in my in laws. whenever she comes to know that there is no 'khuskhabri' from me yet, i see a kind of relief/satisfaction on her face..very strange but true..once she asked this same question from me and my MIL five times in one week.. May be becauce her daughter has fertility issues and she is still trying after seven years of marriage.. i pray for her daughter cz she is such a nice girl, i feel for her but her mother simply sucks.. dont know how to deal with her, cant be rude cz she is a close relative of my hubby
So I got married about 8 months ago and whenever I talk to my husband's mom's side of the family, they always ask me when I'm giving them the "khush khabri". I politely tell them "not now" not only is it uncomfortable specially since I've only met these people only once in my life and don't even remember their faces, but quite frankly now it's getting very annoying. Also, it's none of their business. And finally, how do u tell them to shut up about it specially when they start forcing it down ur throat that u should have a baby soon. They would probably die if I told them I'm not planning on kids for atleast five yrs. They would further roll over in their graves if I told them that it's because I wanna have a carefree life style and travel the world with my husband before I become responsible for another human being and I feel that I'm too young. Stupid nosy aunties. At the same time, I don't wanna sound totally disrespectful when I tell them it's none of their business. Any suggestions?
I had that problem too, I was just 18 when my parents married me off and trying to finish school. But even my own mother started to be angry when I didn't want children right away. You can't go to school and have children at the same time! Besides, I felt I had to learn more about life before I would be ready to be a mother. Both my mother and the inlaws (mother in law is khala) started to be angry with me for not having children.
Not just family, Pakistani friends as well! People who were only marketfriends of my Dad, not even real family friends, visited us to congratulate us for my marriage, and all of them kept asking every month, if I was pregnant. Family friends did that too though, they always asked if I was already expecting a child. And when I said no, they always said, I should have a child right away. My mother told me it was important, because the inlaws wanted proof that I was capable of having children!
One day I had enough of everyone. I just blurted out in front of everyone 'stop it, I'm not a cow or a sheep! I'm a human being!'
Well, I wouldn't recommend you handling your problem the way I did. I don't know what you should do though. But don't think that it's you, it's just a culture thing. They do that to every girl who gets married. It's not that they have something against you.
Re: Baby talk right after marriage
meher and notorious... hugs to you... i feel so sad for both of you. thank God, I didnt face this kind of treatment but i used to get really pissed when ppl used to ask or say things in a jokin way askin me when we will b three or khushkhabri thing or... are you tryin and stuff.. but now ive been tryin for 7-8 months and no luck. lets see. notorious ur parents n inlaws had definitely put unwanted pressure on you and i understand you must have gotten sick and tired of their lectures. and meher i agree, there are ppl who get happy and relieved if you are not preg. like ur aunt for example..... its not like she hates u or wants bad for u. i m sure she feels threatened herself when smone asks or sympathises abt her daughter not havin baby after so many yrs. so put her in ur shoes too. she isnt givin u bad duah i m sure, she is just relieved to know that her daughter wudnt have to bear comparisons that see meher got preg. i can tell u this frm my own experience. i and one of my hubs cousin got married around same time and she didnt get preg i m sure she mst b tryin cus she was in pak with her inlaws, so imagine!!! but honestly, i was happy that atleast comparisons nahi honge and i can have sum peace but now last yr in sep, i got news she is preg so i m under sooooooooo mch pressure to have baby. so its like, ek tarha ka sahara tha that she didnt have baby after tryin so long and here i was tellin them we r not tryin and then after 1 1/2 yrs we strted sayin duah karein ap. Inshallah meher I hope Allah gives u the gud news soon ... and wish the same for myself too :D
just wanted to share my thots.
Re: Baby talk right after marriage
^ true...
Generally speaking--human relationships aren't so black and white that all aunties are evil. :(
Re: Baby talk right after marriage
if one is still doing baby talk after marriage they were probably not ready to get married. I'd see a developmental psychologist.
Please don't barrage this thread with ridiculous answers. In addition, please read my posts carefully as the others have. There are people close to me that ask me when we are planning on kids and I answer them truthfully. A distant in law of mine has no business asking me this question. Even if my parents and their patents were asked the same questions, it doesn't make it right. Hopefully you will know that there are a lot of traditions in the paki culture that just are wrong and shouldn't be there and just because something is a tradition, it doesn't make it right.
I answer truthfully to those women that care for me and my and my husbands happiness. The other women are just nosy and neither do I nor does my husband have a close relationship with them. Therefore yes, it does bring great joy to a family when someone is pregnant but to those people, trust me it does not. Actually they will be happier knowing that they forced me to have a baby( which will never happen). Please read my posts clearly as I'm asking for suggestions to get these women off my back so they will stop asking at the same time I don't want be extremely rude.
I don't care to ask them why they want me to have a baby because I don't care about what they want. I don't need to please them or their ego in any way.
Lastly, just because I got married, it doesn't make me a baby-producing machine. I already feel bad for your future DIL.
very well said
haha why not play dumb? the best response I've heard is a story my best friend told me: whenever her brother's friend called extended family or family friends, he (yes him, not the wife!) was always asked agar koi khush khabri hai. he would respond by saying "nahin, abhi tak visa nahin aaya hai" or "haan naya TV khareeda tha kal." haha i think the aunties would leave the topic out of embarrassment.
LOL at faasaadi
man that answer just rocks it! i am gna use that now lol. my chaci normally asks me, well chahci jaan ur answer us ready.... hahaha