Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
^ I can see why you feel that way. I would hate to see my parent with someone else as well, but really the companionship between husband and wife can never be fulfilled by anyone else, not even children. I think a lot of times our parents (or whoever) says no to re-marriage because of their own children or fear of what others may thing. Although I'm saying all this and wouldn't mind it, I don't know if I could attend the actual marriage of my parent. Don't think I have it in me
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
You just can't predict the children's reaction in this situation. I know someone who got married to a widowed man from the States and he divorced her the very next day because his kids found out about the wedding back in the US and threatened to break all ties with him if he dared bring another woman with him. :( This was yearsssss ago, I was just a child so I don't know the full story. But even after all those years, I haven't heard of any desi parent getting married again. It's just not common in our society.
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
I have attended a wedding of a divorced lady. Her eldest son was 26. And they were pillars of strength for her. Dressed in sherwanis, they held her hand during the nikah and even danced at her mehndi. I thought that was great.
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
i'd never do it. i don't think my mother would want to ever do it either. i don't care how selfish this sounds, but to give my mother away to someone and have him look after her where i can provide for her? never. i'd make ends meet if need be, but that's the last thing i'd think of.
sweetif - what if she met someone she liked. It's not about you not having to take care of her but her getting a chance at life.
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
My 60yr old uncle married a girl in her 20's which really pissed me off... I wouldn't want my husband to be doing that in lust!!!.. I am already sexist/feminist so lets not talk about unethical scenario at this moment... I will give you my perspective later tonight :p.....
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
idk.parents cant be replaced=/
But parents aren't just our parents, they're also individuals with their own needs and wants. We always wish for our parents ot accept that we are individuals and should not be forced to do what they want, but are we willing to extend the same thing to them?
It's not a pleasant thought at all but it happens...
I'm all for remarriage, but what I do find disgusting and gross is marrying someone who is around the same age as your child. ewww
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
My feeling is that I belong to my daughter and her well being and emotions comes before mine. I honestly do not think that re-marrying esp when you have grown up children is wrong. But to me it's quite unacceptable atleast for now.
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
One thing that I have seen when ever a parents wants to re-marry which in my opinion is quite low is that sometimes the children don't want the parent esp father to re-marry because then after his death the new wife will also get a share in his assets. It's true because one of my dad's acquaintance was facing the same issue and he wanted to re-marry daughters were supporting but sons were against it due to this very reason.
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
Never say never.
It does happen but not commonly.
Most of the time when marriage is for so long that spouse either get very old or just get used to of the dead spouse,.... instead of looking for marriage for companionship, the person feels guilty of betraying other one.
Besides sex factor comes in the minds of, both the parental member or the children. Hence the awkwardness.
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
My 60yr old uncle married a girl in her 20's which really pissed me off... I wouldn't want my husband to be doing that in lust!!!.. I am already sexist/feminist so lets not talk about unethical scenario at this moment... I will give you my perspective later tonight :p.....
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
Did that girl have a father? :D
Yes, I think the girl does have a father and from pind....My uncle couldn't take care of his ill wife anymore because she was paralyzed, they never reproduce any offspring which was not in their hands, so he got married 2yrs ago at the age of 60 to a poor girl who he used to talk over the phone for whatever reasons. Romance grew between them. My 1st aunt passed away who definitely did not approve of the second marriage but unfortunately she died after a year of my uncle's 2nd marriage. It truly doesn't make sense to me that why my uncle felt the urge to marry at this age, why not earlier??? It makes me scared if my husband does the same? Give me hurt and pain when I become ugly, useless, weak bones, and old.... I am sorry but I am paranoid by men's unfaithfulness... I still have my high hopes though :)
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
instead of looking for marriage for companionship, the person feels guilty of betraying other one.
This is true...i have seen that even the younger widows do not re-marry....may be due to guilt or very strong emotional attachment to their deceased partner.
A question BTW..
if the kids are married and settled on their own........whats the problem with the age of the girl their dad marries (as long as there is no forcing)?? The kids are enjoying themselves with their wives whats teh problem if the dad has someone younger with him?? How is that so unethical?
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
My mom was healthy n had sudden death ,dad re married after 6 months without telling us , I told him that atleast wait for one yr before remarrying but he didnt listen to us .... i call my step mom aunty,she was 28 n my dad was 50 when they got married , we just respect her but dont have any good relationship with her , my grandmother wanted my dad to marry right after the death of my mom n raised this issue within 1 month of her death and now aunty n grandmom keep fighting all the time n it drives me crazy .... its messed up :@
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
if the kids are married and settled on their own........whats the problem with the age of the girl their dad marries (as long as there is no forcing)?? The kids are enjoying themselves with their wives whats teh problem if the dad has someone younger with him?? How is that so unethical?
I dunno man, its not unethical its jsut gross. Ok maybe it is unethical. idk.
but we like to think that if an old person marries someone whose around your age/in that age range its for emotional needs and company.
Someone younger = sex.
Oh yeah the other thing that bugs me....I just don't think its fair men can marry asap after a death but women have to remain single forever.