Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
A close family friend's mother passed away after a long sickness. Her dad was 60 at the time...she was the only child remaining to be married....her rishta was finalized.... But she just couldnt see her dad being left alone to take care of himself. She with the help of a few well wishing aunties and uncles managed to get her father married off to a lady that xouldnt have kids and was past her prme..meaning no one wanted to marry her....
Tjis girl's own siblings faought with their dad and hated thier yoinger sister to bits for outting the idea of marriage into their father's head... But the girl only said one thing... U all sit comfortably in ure own homes with a compmete family and joy and happiness...odten a month goes by and dad doesnt get to see u guys... Who will take care of him when i get married?!
The siblings still fought like immature elemntary school kids... But it didnt matter... The father got married with just his younger daughter for support and a few friends....
The daughter got married 1 yr later. Uncle is living a happily married life with aunty... 2 of his kids still dont talk to him... Nor with their sister.
I found this case so pure.... A daughter's sincere love for her father... Its not easy seeing another woman in ure mother's place...but this girl saw the bigger pic and did whatvever she did for the betterment of her dad... KUdos to her.... Ive met the other siblings...god... Retards the bunch of them.
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
BTW, when my dad died, my older sister and I were very worried about our mom, especially her mental health. We discussed the possibility of asking her to consider getting married but none of us found the courage to bring the topic to her. We knew that she would have thrown shoes at us for suggesting that.
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
I highly encouraged my Father to re-marry, because my Mum is mentally ill. But I think now he just gave up and is just living with my Mom as is. He's been married before, whe my Mum had left home and had been gone, my Dad married someone else and mentioned nothing to us and she just showed up at our house one day. We hated him for doing that to us or for even marrying someone else while our Mum was alive. The marriage eventually ended (peacefully) because she wanted to go back to her country and live with her kids, she was a really nice lady.
As time has gone, I now understand his reason for re-marrying. He really did it for us because we needed a mum around, we were living off food that he cooked or store bought and I was too younge to run a home myself. Regardless, I think it was his right to marry again because he was alone. It was wrong of him to not mention anything and just get married, but I can understand why now. My family says he doesn't have a reason because his first wife is still alive, but what good is it to have a wife who wants nothing to do with you.
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
Ok my father died when my mom was in early 30s. And now she is 50 and we all are married. I wish she could have re married. I can feel how bad it feels when you have no one to share and in our society, a WIDOW does have no one, period. If it were in my hands, TLK, i would have had my mom married again. She had and has all rights to live her life, with someone she could share. Second marriage is not an ayyashi. Its taboo here but it has never been a taboo in Islam. We all have to zip up because of the pressure of the f****** society.
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
BTW, when my dad died, my older sister and I were very worried about our mom, especially her mental health. We discussed the possibility of asking her to consider getting married but none of us found the courage to bring the topic to her. We knew that she would have thrown shoes at us for suggesting that.
apni izzat apne haath :D
I'm sorry to hear about your father :(...Allah unke darjat buland kare aur unhe janatul firdos Mai java de ameen sum ameen,
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
Ok my father died when my mom was in early 30s. And now she is 50 and we all are married. I wish she could have re married. I can feel how bad it feels when you have no one to share and in our society, a WIDOW does have no one, period. If it were in my hands, TLK, i would have had my mom married again. She had and has all rights to live her life, with someone she could share. Second marriage is not an ayyashi. Its taboo here but it has never been a taboo in Islam. We all have to zip up because of the pressure of the f****** society.
:(
Allah Apke father ki maghfirat farmaye,aur unhe janatul firdos Mai jaga de ameen sum ameen
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
I highly encouraged my Father to re-marry, because my Mum is mentally ill. But I think now he just gave up and is just living with my Mom as is. He's been married before, whe my Mum had left home and had been gone, my Dad married someone else and mentioned nothing to us and she just showed up at our house one day. We hated him for doing that to us or for even marrying someone else while our Mum was alive. The marriage eventually ended (peacefully) because she wanted to go back to her country and live with her kids, she was a really nice lady.
As time has gone, I now understand his reason for re-marrying. He really did it for us because we needed a mum around, we were living off food that he cooked or store bought and I was too younge to run a home myself. Regardless, I think it was his right to marry again because he was alone. It was wrong of him to not mention anything and just get married, but I can understand why now. My family says he doesn't have a reason because his first wife is still alive, but what good is it to have a wife who wants nothing to do with you.
This is one unique happening madina. Thanks for sharing it with us but at the end, your mom and dad are together and that is important. May allah keep your family in his amaan. aameen.
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
My grandfather married shortly after my grandmother passed away from ovarian cancer. I don't think my dad ever forgave him for that because he loved his mother so much and he thought he should have concentrated on taking care of his children.
But his (my grandfather's) reason were justified, he had 6 kids - the youngest was a baby. maybe he married someone to take care of the kids? forget his pain?
But the marriage didn't work out and they got divorced shortly after.
I see some of my parent's friends whose spouse has passed away living alone (totally alone) and it's not easy. Eating dinner alone, spending weekends alone.
I hope I would encourage them to find someone if only sake of companionship.
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
My nani passed away when my mom was 14-15 I think, and my mom was the oldest of 4 sisters. My nana never remarried. His sister (my mom's phuppi) took care of the daughters and I must say that she did not do a justice at all, in fact pushed my mom into an early marriage so she would have less responsibilities (dont blame her also as she had 2 daughters of her own). My mom to this day wished that her father had married so he and them sisters would have a better life.
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
This thread remind me of a thread where how people don't want to marry a widow or divorced,
Ok let's say theres on widow with 2/3 small kids she wants to get married again,but can u imagine how hard it wud be for her to find someone to marry her?
Re: Attending the nikah of your own mother (or father)
i'd never do it. i don't think my mother would want to ever do it either. i don't care how selfish this sounds, but to give my mother away to someone and have him look after her where i can provide for her? never. i'd make ends meet if need be, but that's the last thing i'd think of.
