Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
Salaam-e-ishq meri jaan zara kabool kar lo
Salaam-e-ishq meri jaan zara kabool kar lo
Tum humse pyaar karne ki zara si bhool kar lo
mera dil bechain hai
mera dil bechain hai humsafar ke liye
mera dil bechain hai humsafar ke liye
Salaam-e-ishq meri jaan…
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
orhpi..this thread is not..WHAT ARE U LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
I was once a member of a very famous band in Pakistan and have appeared many times on TV…As a result, fame attracts some good attention and some bad attention, but mostly it’s bad attention that’s attached like a stigma to the world of music…
Girls specially find it very easy to fall in love at the drop of a hat…So, I have had my share of receiving 'ILU’s…It comes to a point where you start to hate the word love because it becomes so cheap…
This one time while performing in Islamabad, we were booked in a guest house…We were there for 5 days and second day was our performance…We performed and after the performance we were called to the office of the auditorium’s owner whose daughter was with him and with her was her friend…The owner’s daughter (in front of her dad) was openly flirting with our guitarist while the friend took a fancy to me…And I took a fancy to her…
She was decent, educated and good looking…So anyways, after about half hour as we were about to leave, the lady I was talking to gave me her phone number…
Next morning I called her up and we talked for two three hours and I became interested in her…I called her up in the evening again and talked for a few hours more…As usual, the next morning I called her up again and talked in detail about ourselves…I got to know her, she got to know me…In the evening, when I called her up and after about an hour’s worth of conversation, to my surprise, she said I love you to me…It felt very good, for some reason it felt as if the girl truly loved me for me, not for my fame…At that moment, I became serious about her thinking truly that she is the one…
Next evening we had to leave back for Karachi…In the afternoon, the girl gave me a surprise visit all alone to my room…
We were four in a band, so were assigned 2 guys to each room…I shared the room with the singer, so he excused himself and went out…There is the girl and me all alone in a room…I asked her if she was with someone to which she replied that she had come alone to meet me because she loved me…I told her it was wrong of her to come like this, she said it was OK, no one knows she is here…All this she kept coming close to me, until she came to me and embraced me…
I was shocked…I drew her away from me and I was all confused…But she kept trying to hug me…I had a million questions in my mind…Had she done this anyone else? Is this her normal behaviour? How can her parents let her go without checking up on her? and so on and so on…
I realized at that moment, that is I were to take off her clothes and have sex with her, she would allow me most willingly…She just kept staring up at me while I looked at her dumbfounded, my mind all twisted up…Shaitan had me literally by the balls…
I don’t know what happened, but I gently drew her away from me and told her to go home…She kept trying to hug me while I pushed her away…Then I told her to go away, to think of her father and mother, I started lecturing her…All the while I was so sad, because I had developed feelings for that girl…Then she stood away from me, looking at me…She asked me if I loved her, I told her no…I do not love her…
She cried and went away, while I myself sat down on the bed confused…
When my bandmembers heard what happened, they immediately started saying, man, you should have used her, told her you loved her because that’s what they’d have done…They called me all kinds of names like khassi and na-mard and this and that…
But I knew she was a good girl at heart but not very smart…I couldn’t bring myself to ruin her life…
So girly, don’t lesson me about love and everything that goes with it…Don’t think I am an upstart who just came out of the blue advocating arranged marriages because ‘it was the last option’ for me…
Love before marriage is a cheap commodity that even animals share and throw around…It’s the mating instinct which humans call love…A human being’s, nay, a Muslim’s, true love begins after the marriage and that is the bond that defines the love between a man and a woman…
I don’t care how many people you love in your lifetime until you find a true match for yourself, but if you base your judgement on ‘love’ alone, then you will be destined for a truly cataclysmic heartbreak…And a love lost is far more dreadful than a marriage without love…And in arranged marriages, love always happens eventually…
There are other things to consider in a marriage…Family, religion, background, ethics of the person…Let your parents sort it out for you…I let mine sort it out for me, and 
, I am not the least disappointed in any way…And guess what? The first time I heard her voice, was on the phone after our Nikah and the first time I saw her face to face was in the marriage hall…
I was not going for that love before marriage crap again…It’s all baloney and a waste of time, effort and emotions…
Go arranged…You’ll find more peace…
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
wow...sum gurls are just desperate..g.lad u made the right decision
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
then whats ur reason for having an arranged marriage apart from the fact that u cant be bothered to find someone yourself?
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
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Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
...And in arranged marriages, love always happens eventually...
so do divorces also happen eventually in alot of cases.
p.s. ur story about that desperate girl who said "i love u" after meeting a total stranger (you) is nothing to do with love. she was obviously after ur fame/money....and those type of girls dont know the meaning of love and its ur fault too for leading her on by taking her number and then calling her up to talk to her.
p.s. ur not junaid jamshed are you?
if someone wants an arranged marriage....i have nothing against that...i respect that. but i dont like it when people look down on those who love their husband/wife before marriage. love isnt a crime.....
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
You truly are a man! :k:
Kids!
Not necessarily. Before we proceed, somebody needs to define what ‘love’ is? Many people confuse infatuation with ‘love’ or ‘lust’. So, what’s love. People can develop strong emotional bonds with basis in friendship that can (and do) translate into successful marriages.
I disagree, read above.
If you are thinking about Bollywood/Lollywood’s version of ‘love’, perhaps it’s not worth the trouble. Different people reach different levels of emotional maturity at different ages and growth fostering mature relationships do happen and can work towards a resonable socially acceptable contracts (like marriage).
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
^i agree with you.
loving someone is just a feeling...and an emotional bond.
seems like lajawab is mixing love with lust
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
Not tat i found any frog but i can easily find if i start looking for any :D..
another reason of shortage is tat now a days most frogs are in hybernation so summer or spring would be the best time 
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
did princess fiona have an arranged marriage in the fairy tale? 
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
Simply cause of respect to my parents. and why should i find a guy myself when my parents are happy to do it for me? Why should i disrespect them and bring them another guy whom i like and they don't..
aur lets not forget the culture dear.. That is what our culture is ..
Iam not saying that love marriage is bad or something but there is a great risk in tat.. Wat if ur marriage life didn't work out? whom would u blame.. Ofcourse urself.. tell me wat percentage of love marriage is successfull in pakistan?
Yaar just focus on other issues of life and let ur parents deal with ur marriage issue... I assure u that no parents would want to find a bad guy for their daughters and believe me you wouldn't regret their choice if ur ready for commitment and conpromise..
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
Keywords: Fairy Tale…
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
Come on .. Please do not mix up jokes with real life.. Princess fiona/frogs can be jokes but real life issues are different.. We are not living in a fairy land or we are not part of a fairy tale… Even in fairy tales the poor princess has to struggle alot to get her prince charming.. Am i ready to struggle. NO.. i have alot of other problems in life don’t wanna add another one 
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
impulse. I wish I was bitter and generally angry enough to tell you exactly how unimportant the matters of your heart are to the world, but luckily for you I'm a happier person. Just so you are aware, however (and as a friendly heads up) no one cares. :) Have a happy life.
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
love has become overrated for me ;-)
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
Impulse: Really, my emotional reason to go for arranged marriage was my emotional attachment with my fiance, even though I did not know who she was. It was my belief in Quran's saying that "for pious men we have pious women.....". It was my self-understanding that I could keep anyone happy and be happy myself as well with whoever life partner God will choose for me.
I did not regret anything.
I never say love marriage is bad; I just say it is over rated.
Best wishes. Cheers!
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
some people are idiot too … some, not all !
Love only happens to a very rare few people on planet
It would be more apt if you call this ‘Self arranged marraige’ instead of love marriage, becuase they are really not ‘love marraiges’ only dumb people should be allowed to call these settings as such 
So correct topic should be
Self arranged marriage VS Family/friends arranged marriage
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
^ as much as I almost always find myself not affirming you, I completely agree on this one.
edit - I have no problem people arranging their marriage, I just think they should leave the word alone. Better yet they shouldn't enter a sacred relationship on the wrong foot, and continue living their lives fooling themselves. Understanding marriage and the person they want to/they're marrying to would certainly help. Leave love to take its natural birth, if it ever does. Just leave it alone.
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
^ Bari meherbani
Now if we look more closely, I see no problem in either type of arrangemnets. You want to find a mate yourself go ahead, you feel that people around you should help you out , no worries !
There are Problems in both type of arrangement,
Firstly, perfect match is extremely rare to find , without out side help.
Secondly, maybe perfect match is not good for you, in a long run
Lastly, the LOVE might be fake
It decrease the probability of finding someone good enough and it wastes a lot of time and energy.
incase of family/friends arranged marriage,
^ these settings dont apply in Pakistan. It is different ball game altogether.
successful marriage is other name of sacrifice and lots and lots of adjustments ... the more you deley the more hard it becomes to do adjustments.
As she says in DDLJ *'Miss Lusi kehti hian, Adatain agar waqt per na badli jain tu majborian ban jateen hain' *