Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
You saw no problems and you still ended up finding some huge ones. I see many to start with. They are always gonna be 'maybes and mights'. You simply can't help it. To some people I'm sure it doesn't matter. To others it does. Something feels more right than the other. It's okay as long as you know what you're doing. And not because you're blinded by so-called love or the society. Rest you leave to God. Simple.
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
^ these settings dont apply in Pakistan. It is different ball game altogether.
successful marriage is other name of sacrifice and lots and lots of adjustments ... the more you deley the more hard it becomes to do adjustments.
As she says in DDLJ *'Miss Lusi kehti hian, Adatain agar waqt per na badli jain tu majborian ban jateen hain' *
I hope you've both parties in sight. Adjustments are good only and I emphasize only if both parties are equally willing to do them for each other. And there's only so much you can sacrifice. If the sacrifice means you don't remain you then I'd personally be better off without marriage. Marriage is meant to make your life complete and not to take away parts of you from you. In which case, 'knowing' the person becomes crucial. You should help what you can. Only God knows all in the end. And Blah to Bollywood-and-all-other-woods.
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
Sorry, my mistake 
I meant that i am not against either kind of arrangment
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
Religious and cultural perhaps?
I don't see why you are looking down upon people who have arranged marriages. Mine wasn't but I still have respect for those who take arranged marriage route. Similar to Lajawab, I see your attitude and opinions quite despicable.
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
you wouldnt be disrespecting them by divorcing a guy after marriage cuz u dont like him or his personality? ive seen many guys who are so bad...but they end up having an arranged marriage and the wife knows NOTHING about their past of girls/drinking/drugs etc.etc. ive seen this happen so many times in arranged marriages. ive seen guys that are soo low that no girl would ever have a love marriage with them....but they end up finding girls through thier parents....what if you end up with someone like that?
also i find it rather sick when guys parents go around asking so many girls for the proposal....and get rejected....and they end up settling for the first one that says yes. how cheap is that.
Iam not saying that love marriage is bad or something but there is a great risk in tat.. Wat if ur marriage life didn't work out? whom would u blame.. Ofcourse urself..
personally i think theres a greater risk in arranged marriage....recently ive seen over 80% of arranged marriages breaking up here in UK.
so you dont want to blame yourself if ur marriage didnt work out? in other words u want to blame ur parents....that shows a lot of respect for them right?....is that ur idea of respect for parents...by blaming them for ur failed marriage?
I have focused on other issues of life as well and thanks to Allah, he's given me everything ive wanted in life...ive got a great career, a great job lined up as soon as i finish my degree, a lovely family and have also found my prince charming too.....theres nothing more i could ask for:) but i know if i didnt have him in my life....and like u i waited for an arranged marriage proposal...i wouldnt be happy....because there would always be a fear in my mind...of what if my parents dont find the person who is right for me....and as far as their contacts are concerned and proposals ive had through arranged marraige route....I didnt like any of them....and some of them i didnt evne bother to know more about...cuz i dont want to take that risk.
so many parents get their daughters married to guys who they know are BAD....why do they do it? they end up ruining the poor girls life....that in itself shows parents DONT always find the right guy for their daughters.....
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
im not looking down on arranged marriages...but on those people who are looking down on love marriages.
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
Please quote the source of the above.
People who break up arranged marriages don't stand a chance of fullfilling their obligations had they been in love marriages as well. Success of a marriage depends less on your attitudes before the marriage and more on the changes in attitudes after the marriage. Marriage is such a relationship that it requires/forces people to change their attitudes and outlooks on life. My point is that it is difficult to judge how the other person will change after marriage.
Also you are assuming that all girls and boys are as intelligent as you are in their selection process. That is too much to hope for; don't you think so?
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
some in arranged marriages dont really want to get married...they just do it cuz parents tell them to...later on they cant be bothered to make the marriage work....cuz they just got married for the sake of it and to please parents....as a result thier partner is not happy with the marriage....
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
All marriages are arranged---by Allah (swt)!
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
the best reply so far in this thread :)
ur right...all marriages are arranged by Allah and made in heaven and im 100% happy with Allah's arrangement cuz he has always arranged things in the best way for me and im thankful to Allah for that :)
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
It is about time you put an end to your shallow observations. You are making a fool out of yourself. What happens in someone's married life and the reasons behind it working or breaking up is more than the fact that it was arranged or not.
You will be one anal aunty when you grow up.
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
its not an observation ...its things people have told me themselves who are not happy with their marriage...one girl even told me shes living just for the sake of living and just passing the days...i.e. counting the days to her death. i can use low life language like you....but then id have to go low to use that kinda language so i wont
p.s. ur a prime example of why I HATE guys from the west....im just guessing ur from the west by the way ur talking....and the language being used.
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
"i've heard..I'm told..I've seen...so and so is living like this because of this this and that" cut ths sh!t already :) Now that you have found a boy...go play. Don't advocate one method of living over the other.
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
if you dont even know the purpose of me opening this thread....then just keep ur mouth shut. you dont even know how to have a decent conversation without using insulting words. usually I dont bother arguing with the likes of you..
what are u getting so worked up about?
im not advocating anything....i was just expressing my opinion...I didnt know even thats not allowed.
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
Nothing stands true for everyone. I have seen both kinds of marriages succeeding and failing miserably. Depends on the nature of people involve specially bride and groom themselves. Both kinds of marriages have their advantages and disadvantages. Person himself can be a best judge of which way to go.
Personally I think we should not make it an “aim of life” that “I HAVE TO HAVE TO get married after getting in love” or “THERE IS NO WAY I AM MARRIYING GAL MY MOM FIND FOR ME” or “LOVE IS TRASH, I WILL ASK MY MOM TO FIND ONE FOR ME”. When I was single, I was NOT LOOKING DESPRATILY to GET IN LOVE although I had my eyes and ears opened and at the same time I never asked my mom to “STOP WORRYING ABOUT ME AS I”LL FIND MY OWN BRIDE”. We both were looking, she found the gal she though was right for me, I met her and I thought the same and now mashallah I am living a happy life.
Marriage is not about how bride and groom met for the first time its about if they are compatible or not oh and did I mentioned that no matter if its arranged or love, AT LEAST one of the two should be a soft tempered person!
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
have you ever came across a divorcee who just had regrets of 'why they got into this love marriage to begin with and then it didn't work out blah blah'? and then they rely on the arranged ones for the second time...if you haven't.. then I would say 'Your World' is very Limited.
it doesn't matter how you get into the marriage at the first place... what matters is did it work out for you or no.
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
Personally I think we should not make it an “aim of life” that “I HAVE TO HAVE TO get married after getting in love” or “THERE IS NO WAY I AM MARRIYING GAL MY MOM FIND FOR ME” or “LOVE IS TRASH, I WILL ASK MY MOM TO FIND ONE FOR ME”. When I was single, I was NOT LOOKING DESPRATILY to GET IN LOVE although I had my eyes and ears opened and at the same time I never asked my mom to “STOP WORRYING ABOUT ME AS I”LL FIND MY OWN BRIDE”. We both were looking, she found the gal she though was right for me, I met her and I thought the same and now mashallah I am living a happy life.
Marriage is not about how bride and groom met for the first time its about if they are compatible or not oh and did I mentioned that no matter if its arranged or love, AT LEAST one of the two should be a soft tempered person!
very well said...may Allah keep you happy always :)
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
actually u are doing the same exact thing if u go back and look at your posts.
dont be like them...we all know very well that its a personal preference.
Re: Arranged marriage -LAST Option
Ok bulbulli u go find me someone and i will find someone for u .. 
it wouldnt be considered arrange then 