Are you trying?

[Peony]

Re: Are you trying?

@Paheli00

I don’t understand why people do not realize what a personal topic this is. It’s basically asking a woman if she and her husband are using any form of birth control when having s*x.

Or they are asking if you are having sex. It boils down to your sex life and there is no reason for anyone to know about someone’s sex life, not a mother, mother-in-law or anyone else, and certainly not distant in-laws or acquaintances.

@schmeardo

This one lady, a couple years older than myself, but got married a few years after I did. She and I say salaam to each other at community events, but we’re not friends, we don’t even have each others’ phone numbers. She came up to me and very confidently said, “Hey, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but are you pregnant?” I politely replied, “No, why do you ask?” And she goes, “Well some of us were talking, and we were looking at the way you’re walking, how you’re standing, and I said she’s definitely pregnant… Don’t get offended, I’m the kind of person who’ll just ask straight up, I don’t like contemplating things when I can just go and find out.”

Good God, I can’t believe the lack of manners in some people. Considering they themselves are women and should know all the reason why not to ask. Reading about some of these incidents is actually helpful to me because it’s actually preparing me for all kind of scenarios. I think if someone shocks and offends me, I’m just going to let them know it. My statement doesn’t have to be blaming but that person needs to know how wrong they are and that they shouldn’t do it again. After all, if they did it to me, they most certainly are going to repeat that behavior. If someone says that she’s the kind of person who will just ask straight up, I’m going to say “I don’t know if it was acceptable ever in history to ask an acquaintance is she is having sex or if she is pregnant but it certainly not these days. Have you noticed how many women are having infertility issues and right in their 20’s too! Wouldn’t it be horrible if you asked someone and she had just miscarried or going through painful IVF treatments, or can’t have children, you’re just going to hurt her tremendously so it’s just a dangerous topic. Don’t you agree?”.

Your cousin was trying to save face by becoming all gruff and pissy after she put her foot in her mouth. Hopefully she’s learned her lesson and won’t subject you to any more of her lectures or asinine comments.

@ninjamummy

**My post below, is not meant to offend anyone.
**
First you have the ‘have you been trying?’’ questions..

After 1-2-3 children, some folks have the gall to say ’ Can’t you be sensitive to your SIL/ or so and so; they are having problems conceiving, and you guys keep popping out babies" or 'Acha, now you have had another child, give it to your jeth/jethani “. or " 'Poor you, another girl, give it to so and so, what will you do with so many girls?”

I sobbed when my 2nd daughter was born due to the nasty comments I heard from people who actually think they are well meaning.

Comments I have mentioned come from some very highly educated, and professional people.

Can’t win either way.

You’re right, rude and insensitive people will remain rude & insensitive regardless of the situation. I am horrified to read some of the comments you have been subjected to.

** Disney Princess**
Good one! If someone is going to dish it, they should learn to take it to. :k: