Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
Hypothetically if your parents, culture and religion DID NOT disapprove of living together - Would you?
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
It's not allowed in Islam.
omg I had this conversation with my friends!
If religion family and friends didnt mind then neither would i, i think. I'm sooo lucky to be a muslim bcz i think i would also have been a binge drinker!
My mums cousin is still living with his gf and hes in his 60's now, they have two children.
My cousin has three children, shes never married and all are from diff fathers. we don't treat her any diff from the rest but don't socialise with her.
My other cousin's gf fell pregnant by him but he married her when she was 5-6 months. we keep in touch with this family.
I believe that the next generation won't really bother to get married they will see it as an unnecessary expense and wod happily live together in sin.
May Allah guide us and keep us all on the right path. Ameen.
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
I wouldnt because as the saying goes...
Why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free?
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
I agree with the dua of mizzy.
May Allah guide us to keep all of us on right path.
I think the original question is whether anyone has lived with their intended spouse prior to marriage rather than have you lived in a house with a person of the opposite sex.
This is one of the great divides between east and west.
In the east and in Islam, living together without marriage is forbidden and thats fine.
In the west, it is frowned upon (usually) but not strictly forbidden, even I think in christianity or judaism but not entirely sure about that. Even parents will accept a living-together arrangement in the hope that their child will find happiness.
The feeling in the west can tend to be more about finding the right partner, giving life together a try before taking the drastic step of marriage - which is a promise to spend the rest of your life together. It typically isnt all about wild sex and lack of morals.
To each his own yeah? No one can say eastern culture is better or western is better....they are DIFFERENT, with different rules and values. A westerner cannot really be expected to fully understand the concept of arranged marriages and separation of sexes and easterners cannot be expected to fully understand living together and love marriages because its so very different. But either one is ok within their own culture based on the morals and values that the parents provide - there are good people and bad people, good intentions and bad on both sides yeah?
well said, as usual, Mamaof3
I think the original question is whether anyone has lived with their intended spouse prior to marriage rather than have you lived in a house with a person of the opposite sex.
This is one of the great divides between east and west.
In the east and in Islam, living together without marriage is forbidden and thats fine.
In the west, it is frowned upon (usually) but not strictly forbidden, even I think in christianity or judaism but not entirely sure about that. Even parents will accept a living-together arrangement in the hope that their child will find happiness.
The feeling in the west can tend to be more about finding the right partner, giving life together a try before taking the drastic step of marriage - which is a promise to spend the rest of your life together. It typically isnt all about wild sex and lack of morals.
To each his own yeah? No one can say eastern culture is better or western is better....they are DIFFERENT, with different rules and values. A westerner cannot really be expected to fully understand the concept of arranged marriages and separation of sexes and easterners cannot be expected to fully understand living together and love marriages because its so very different. But either one is ok within their own culture based on the morals and values that the parents provide - there are good people and bad people, good intentions and bad on both sides yeah?
Then what is the reason behind living under same roof. All things they can find out without living under same roof.
I won't like to see the person before marriage and ewww I can't think about living under same roof even for few minutes. Thats I will call nasty.
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
i don't have any problem living with a girl, except one condition i have to put duck tape on her lips 24/7. Sir hi khatin rehtin hain har waqt .. if a guy said word the reply will be paragraph ... ajeeb creature hai
Hypothetically if your parents, culture and religion DID NOT disapprove of living together - Would you?
I am quoting myself - But I wouldn't. Everyone thinks differently but i don't think I have the personality to share my life and space with someone that wasn't my family. I know that sounds wierd but I don't really like living with close friends. Maybe I am guarded or something having some distance/space.
It's not allowed in Islam.
that's why I said hypothecially. I know it's not allowed in Islam :)
Then what is the reason behind living under same roof. All things they can find out without living under same roof.
I won't like to see the person before marriage and ewww I can't think about living under same roof even for few minutes. Thats I will call nasty.
Many westerners see marriage to a stranger or to a cousin as "nasty" yeah? Like I said, its one of the "great divides" between cultures.
All things cannot be discovered until you know and live with a person. And many westerners beleive in this so strongly that they actually do co-habitate prior to marriage to see whether things will work out. Culturally, easterners disagree with this and thats ok...but to say why get married if you're getting "it" for free - thats an eastern outlook, not a western one.
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
Why do couples who live together before marriage tend to divorce more often than the ones who dn't?
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
Heres an interesting article I came across on USA Today, suggesting cohabitation is becoming the norm more than marriage itself, here.
**
"Divorce is on the decline in the USA, but a report to be released today suggests that may be due more to an increase in people living together than to more lasting marriages.**
Couples who once might have wed and then divorced now are not marrying at all, according to The State of our Unions 2008. The annual report, which analyzes Census and other data, is issued by the National Marriage Project at New Jersey's Rutgers University.
The U.S. divorce rate is 17.7 per 1,000 married women, down from 22.6 in 1980. The marriage rate is also on a steady decline: a 50% drop since 1970 from 76.5 per 1,000 unmarried women to 39.9, says the report, whose calculations are based on an internationally used measurement.
"Cohabitation is here to stay," says David Popenoe, a Rutgers sociology professor and report co-author. "I don't think it's good news, especially for children," he says. "As society shifts from marriage to cohabitation — which is what's happening — you have an increase in family instability."
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Why do couples who live together before marriage tend to divorce more often than the ones who dn't?
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The reason according to the sociology percepetive is that couples who cohabits are generally more liberal and open minded towards marital issues. That is why they dont think of divorce as a taboo. Couples who do not live together before marriage are generally more conservative when it comes to issues like divorce and stuff. It is important to know that living together do not cause divorce.
Many westerners see marriage to a stranger or to a cousin as "nasty" yeah? Like I said, its one of the "great divides" between cultures.
All things cannot be discovered until you know and live with a person. And many westerners beleive in this so strongly that they actually do co-habitate prior to marriage to see whether things will work out. Culturally, easterners disagree with this and thats ok...but to say why get married if you're getting "it" for free - thats an eastern outlook, not a western one.
Good point. I know many "westerners" who would not even think about marrying without living with their would-be spouse first. And they believe as strongly in their justifications as many of us do.
I think its important for us to consciously make the effort to recognize and appreciate POV's and perspectives that are different from ours. We may not have to agree but we should be receptive to them and try to understand why people do the things they do.
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
it is a reality that every person would best be able to think from his perspective and would better be able to explain his contextual experiences and as far as this forum is concerned ppl mostly join have the same eastern perspective.
v are not unwelcoming towards the western one but will surely express our experiences and ambience which is also a stark reality.
Many westerners see marriage to a stranger or to a cousin as "nasty" yeah? Like I said, its one of the "great divides" between cultures.
All things cannot be discovered until you know and live with a person. And many westerners beleive in this so strongly that they actually do co-habitate prior to marriage to see whether things will work out. Culturally, easterners disagree with this and thats ok...but to say why get married if you're getting "it" for free - thats an eastern outlook, not a western one.
That's why they have more divorce. They can't find out about how quick they will get divorce after living under one roof and having sex and making kid out of wedding lock.
Aren't you quoting a sentce that only person used.
In my culture they life for whole life after marriage without spending a single night togather and having sex and making *******s.
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
I'm sorry Gr8, I dont understand what it is that you're trying to say...
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
I though tonly Spock and teggy lived together before marriage.....okay.........perhaps the joke is over done. But cohabitation is not good for the kids and i will never ever recomend it to desis. They will be an outcast in there society.
Re: Anyone lived together before marriage?
i lived together with someone(s) but did not marry , does that count? :halo: