Re: anyone got any witty ways to insult people!!!
I find this whole thread distasteful, especially that you would give so much thought and time to intentionally hurt someone. The fact that your cousins may say hurtful things, does not excuse ur cunningness as to what methods u could use to retaliate and hurt them as well. Ur cousins are young and immature - forgive them, u do not need to stoop to that level.
From the threads that I have read of yours, I do belive that you are insecure amd look into things too much and therefore come to belive something that might just be ur imagination. U might debate this, but if you were truly confident about urself, then such things should not affect u.
The important thing is that you say you are happy with your weight and colour - now start believeing that!!
Re: anyone got any witty ways to insult people!!!
HMMMMM i love all the advice thanks, and sweetpip, im not really that insecure,,to be fair to me, im quite confident, but this wedding of mine has turned me into a bridezilla from hell and every lil inch of me im examining with a microscope, to see if it can be improved....so the weight issues, skin etc all stem from me getin married in 5 weeks...otherwise ive never had a issue. alhumdulilah....i need to imprve my overall self..thats why i open sometimes ludicrous threads...
and i need to spit it back to my cusins...cos
1] they are not young and immautre, they are all older than me and some are doctors and engineers, very well educated buffooons.....
2] just wondered what i could possibly say, not cos im inseucre but its high time these pakis got their just desserts,.and i would use these not just when they comment on me, but if they start on anyone else, il be there with my notebook of insults.....just to shut them up....thats all i want..otherwise alhumdulilah im beautful and love myself....to bitss :]
Nadz, I totally get what you're talking about. I don't like stereotyping, but i've noticed this problem in Pakistan and it seems worse there.
The cousins don't have a problem dishing out the criticism and insults......but they can't take it when it comes their way. I have been told that desi culture can be too baytakalluf to bother with tact........but sometimes I doubt this. Simply because if that were the case....then the people shouldn't have issues when they are on the receiving end of "well-meant" criticism. It's kind of like saying when you have a problem in yourself.......you tend not to notice it in others. LOL.
Anyhow here are some suggestions when they spew their toxic snide remarks your way:
1) **Look them in the eyes........and **SMILE. What kind of smile? The kind of smile that you would bestow upon a blundering child who has just said something very foolish. In other words.......the classic condescending smile. Do not underestimate the power of this smile. It can cut deeply and is very infuriating. It can make the offender feel very small.......and you don't even have to say a word. After bestowing this poisonous smile.......simply stand up.....and quietly walk away.
2) The next time someone says you are not "smart" or that you are a "moti".......ask them "And how does this affect my personality and character? Alhumdollillah, Allah gave me good soorat (face) and seerat (personality). Some people have far less than that." It's amazing how a direct logical comment can shut someone up.....and make them feel embarrassed.
3) Or you can say......"Smartness of mind far exceeds temporary smartness of body in value."
**4) **Or....get up to walk away and say "Excuse me, but I'm going to go occupy myself with an activity more useful than shallow conversation. Do sit here and enjoy yourself."
5) "I wonder if you'd tell a blind person that they're blind.......or a disfigured person that they're disfigured. I guess you're only "smart" in the "figurative" sense, lol.
6) If they say you're moti.......tell them....."Yeah I keep gaining in pounds whatever you lose in common sense."
THANKS DARLING....ermm now urdu ki translation please..lol.....god imagine me saying this to them....i think they would need to understand it before they feel insulted...anyway i love the first 2.....i think il pop a note in my diary....
HMMMMM i love all the advice thanks, and sweetpip, im not really that insecure,,to be fair to me, im quite confident, but this wedding of mine has turned me into a bridezilla from hell and every lil inch of me im examining with a microscope, to see if it can be improved....so the weight issues, skin etc all stem from me getin married in 5 weeks...otherwise ive never had a issue. alhumdulilah....i need to imprve my overall self..thats why i open sometimes ludicrous threads...
and i need to spit it back to my cusins...cos 1] they are not young and immautre, they are all older than me and some are doctors and engineers, very well educated buffooons..... 2]** just wondered what i could possibly say, not cos im inseucre but its high time these pakis got their just desserts,.**and i would use these not just when they comment on me, but if they start on anyone else, il be there with my notebook of insults.....just to shut them up....thats all i want..otherwise alhumdulilah im beautful and love myself....to bitss :]
hahaaaaaaaaaaaaa..
Re: anyone got any witty ways to insult people!!!
just say................. r u jeleous :ASA:.............
Re: anyone got any witty ways to insult people!!!
nadz i know what u mean
i went back 6yrs ago i was a size 8/10 and i also was the victim of their insults which i dont understand why...i thought i was the perfect weight!!!!
they all got this image that if u r skinny ur miss universe and u can pick on anyone no matter how they look!!!
Re: anyone got any witty ways to insult people!!!
well i'm a size 0/2 and i get comments ALL the time from aunties like "aik zamane mein, main bhi itni patli hoti thi" or "tum kitni smart ho", etc etc. some aunties are so rude they even tell their slightly chubby daughters, "jalebi ko dekho, tumhe bhi issi tarah hona chahiye". i think that's so wrong...first of all being skinny is mostly favored by women; my own brothers say that they don't want a skinny wife...one of them says he likes girls who are 'thick'..lol. in our community, the guys can't really say to a girl that your butt looks awesome so the feedback your getting is kinda distorted.
also, lots of desi girls have really small bones so even when they are really flabby they look skinny...it's only when their nekkid u can see their flabby stomach and fleshy thighs, even though they are still a size 2.
plus remember the smaller your hips, the less space your stomach has to expand during pregnancy. so that means girls with the smallest hips usually get the worst stretchmarks.
i think the main thing is to have a small stomach... evolution wise, men are geared to look at a woman with a small waist and large hips because it's a sign of fertility. infertile people, like little girls and old ladies, have large waists and small hips.
Nadz, you like yourself the way you are and you are satisfied with how you look rite now and that's the most important thing. Tell the haters too shoo away unless you think they are genuinely advising you to loose a bit of weight. But at the end of the day, i believe if you are healthy and satisfied with yourself don't listen to what others say. Just tell them for once that you are very much liking your new figure and dont wanna change it and that you would appreciate them to keep their advices to theirself...if the sweet msg doesnt get through then by all means do whatever it takes to shut them up yah..you got it right, shoot'em up :P LOL! just kidding but ya if they dont understand it politely than just tell them in a strict tone and i am sure they will get the message.
All the best, i am sure you look great and dont let anyone bother you about these things.
Re: anyone got any witty ways to insult people!!!
nadz tell you what if we were around each other in real life i would be the one to call you moti:| because i myself am a size zero and love myself this way (im just toooo obsessed with hollywood ) i dont forgive myself for gaining even half an inch of flab around my tummy or thighs and SO yes people like me DO deserve rude answers so go girl and speak your heart out when someone calls you moti ! because we anorexics deserve that:P
Re: anyone got any witty ways to insult people!!!
It seems to be part of Pakistani culture to comment (loudly) on others' appearance. I don't know what makes them feel like they have the right, but I'm not sure they are aware that it is rude or disrespectful -- because to them it isn't.
I've been skinny and fair all my life; you think that's stopped people from commenting on all my flaws? Your hair is thinning, you have acne, your eyebrows are shaped wrong, why did you do x, what happened to your y, blah blah blah blah. I've spent so many hours sobbing and sobbing due to these types of comments. No one's perfect. But you have to develop a thick skin. It took me years to get over this. Even when I went to Pakistan at age 22 I would lock myself in rooms and just cry and insist I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. I don't think my parents realized this part of Pakistani culture until they saw how it was affecting me.
I had to teach myself that despite all these comments, I was a pretty girl with an intelligent mind. And someone that most people respected. So who cares if I'm not perfect? Who is?
It seems to be part of Pakistani culture to comment (loudly) on others' appearance. I don't know what makes them feel like they have the right, but I'm not sure they are aware that it is rude or disrespectful -- because to them it isn't.
I've been skinny and fair all my life; you think that's stopped people from commenting on all my flaws? Your hair is thinning, you have acne, your eyebrows are shaped wrong, why did you do x, what happened to your y, blah blah blah blah. I've spent so many hours sobbing and sobbing due to these types of comments. No one's perfect. But you have to develop a thick skin. It took me years to get over this. Even when I went to Pakistan at age 22 I would lock myself in rooms and just cry and insist I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. I don't think my parents realized this part of Pakistani culture until they saw how it was affecting me.
I had to teach myself that despite all these comments, I was a pretty girl with an intelligent mind. And someone that most people respected. So who cares if I'm not perfect? Who is?
I agree. I've noticed this as well. It doesn't matter after how many years you go back to visit Pak......there will be some people who don't have basic manners. And to top it off, if you show even the SLIGHTEST sign that you're upset by their comments.........they will STILL not understand their errors. Instead they'll say something like "Haaaw, tum ne meri baaton ko mind kiya hai. Tum mind karne wali ho." Also, I've noticed that THEY can't take "friendly criticism" that comes their way but they don't think twice about dishing it out.
Also, if they're jealous that you're thinner.....they'll pick on some other physical quality (hair, skin, etc).........without giving even the SLIGHTEST thought to their own obvious imperfections (being overweight, fried hair, etc).
I've heard some of the most dumbest comments. If you have even one single pimple on your face......an adult cousin will point to it and ask (like a child) "What is that?" As if they have never seen a pimple before. You can tell that the comment is meant to insult you but it really reflects their own stupidity. Or if somebody is darker skinned, they will say "What happened to your skin?" As if being dark is an illness. And when you tell them that you're naturally dark......they'll go on to insist that you're not dark.....as if they've seen you all your life.......when the reality is that you're seeing each other after years.
You can tell which of them are making sincere comments and which of them are doing it to insult you. Pathetic. Now I either maintain a distance.....walk away from them and let them bask in their stupidity........or I dish it back to them.
Re: anyone got any witty ways to insult people!!!
^My favorite was being told by an aunty that my wedding makeup made me "look dark." IT'S MY SKIN COLOR YOU FLIPPING MORON. This is how God painted me. Shut up and stop saying stupid things when I'm already at the wedding hall and crazy emotional.
Gah!
Re: anyone got any witty ways to insult people!!!
One of my Jethani's was looking at my wedding pictures..and kept saying they came out really good, and I looked pretty, and then she was like "kuch logon ki bas tasveerein hi achi aati hein" meaning they are just photogenic and not pretty in real. :)
I agree. I've noticed this as well. It doesn't matter after how many years you go back to visit Pak......there will be some people who don't have basic manners. And to top it off, if you show even the SLIGHTEST sign that you're upset by their comments.........they will STILL not understand their errors. Instead they'll say something like "Haaaw, tum ne meri baaton ko mind kiya hai. Tum mind karne wali ho." Also, I've noticed that THEY can't take "friendly criticism" that comes their way but they don't think twice about dishing it out.
Also, if they're jealous that you're thinner.....they'll pick on some other physical quality (hair, skin, etc).........without giving even the SLIGHTEST thought to their own obvious imperfections (being overweight, fried hair, etc).
I've heard some of the most dumbest comments. If you have even one single pimple on your face......an adult cousin will point to it and ask (like a child) "What is that?" As if they have never seen a pimple before. You can tell that the comment is meant to insult you but it really reflects their own stupidity. Or if somebody is darker skinned, they will say "What happened to your skin?" As if being dark is an illness. And when you tell them that you're naturally dark......they'll go on to insist that you're not dark.....as if they've seen you all your life.......when the reality is that you're seeing each other after years.
You can tell which of them are making sincere comments and which of them are doing it to insult you. Pathetic. Now I either maintain a distance.....walk away from them and let them bask in their stupidity........or I dish it back to them.
Brings back so many memories ..... (not good ones)
One of my Jethani's was looking at my wedding pictures..and kept saying they came out really good, and I looked pretty, and then she was like "kuch logon ki bas tasveerein hi achi aati hein" meaning they are just photogenic and not pretty in real. :)
Ew! That's obnoxious!
^My favorite was being told by an aunty that my wedding makeup made me "look dark." IT'S MY SKIN COLOR YOU FLIPPING MORON. This is how God painted me. Shut up and stop saying stupid things when I'm already at the wedding hall and crazy emotional.
Gah!
In my opinion that is among the WORST tactless situations ever! I've heard such stories before and it makes me angry. A bride is already very stressed out and nervous on her wedding day to begin with, the last thing that she needs is for some moron to make her feel even more self-conscious. You know, Mistral, I used to think that these aunties are just plain dumb paindus who don't know any better. But now I realize that while there truly are a few aunties who are clueless about their comments.....there are several who ARE aware of what they're saying and are doing it with the intent to bring you down. And in my opinion one of the biggest signs that indicate that they're trying to hurt you is that they don't offer helpful suggestions. That shows that they just want to criticize and bring you down to feel better about themselves and have no desire to help you in any way.
***I have seen some gorgeous dark-skinned brides! Skin color does not determine beauty or character.
^Thank you m'dear.
Honestly, there's just nothing to be done when it comes to this subject. It hurts, but I fear that this is one thing about desi culture that's not going to change. Actually, I got quite a few less than complimentary comments from the same aunty regarding my appearance throughout the wedding celebrations. It's all so jumbled in my head that I can't even remember what she said at what point. It was either my wedding lipstick that was all wrong or my mehndi makeup that made me look too dark or why was my dupatta arranged this way. Pathetic. Just pathetic.
It's not as bad as another bride I know of who got told to her face by another aunty that she's such a pretty girl, why doesn't she look pretty on her wedding day? Mother of the bride had to be restrained before there was bloodshed.
Re: anyone got any witty ways to insult people!!!
^ Yikes. Before I burst out in tears, I would have told the hellion "If you truly are the expert on fashion and makeup, why doesn't that reflect in your own look? You must be feeling really low about yourself if you're on the mission to make the bride feel bad on her own wedding day. Shame on you for not having common sense."
You know sometimes the simplest words such as "shame on you" are so powerful, LOL. They make you feel like a blundering child who has been shunned.
Re: anyone got any witty ways to insult people!!!
I pray
"Ya Allah if you cant make me skinny make all of my friends FAT" Ameen :D
(i will be killed tonight)