Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
Do they live with you? If I were you I’d think about separating homes.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
Just exclude her. Dnt allow her to touch him, when you are in your room with him dnt let her in, and next time she intends to hurt him just raise hell. Yell at her. I agree you can’t hit her but you can be more proactive about it. When she hurt him under your supervision what did you do?
Why didn’t your husband hold her by her arm and march her straight back to her mum?
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
When she hurt him last time under our supervision hubby did get mad. Her parents were around as well. When hubby got mad and told her off her parents took notice and told her she won’t be able to go on vacation that she has gone on now. She cried for a few mins (deliberately loud enuf that baby got scared of her screams and I had to leave room with baby). Few mins later she was all gud and next day on her vacation. So that gave her the wrong msg I assume.
I did yell at her too a few times but that had no effect either. I let hubby handle her when he is home. When he is not home I usually stay in my room unless its meal time. And that itself is a torture cuz she just literally lurks around him.
The only improvement is that now mother takes notice after my last chat with father and she does try to hold her in her chair during meal time which is simetimes a success.
Times when I m in kitchen preparing sth for baby is no less than a torture either. Before I’d put him in bouncer in kitchen and keep
Close watch but after her attempts at hea I hold him in my arms while preparing/cooking. And that too leads to her pulling/scratching his legs. I tell her off and she continues.
Lusi getting a separate place isn’t possible. We do live together on same floor in same house.
I did follow advice of guppies but nothing is working.
The 2 observations that I ve made are 1) she only does this when her mom is home/around. She usually behaves when in my room alone but if her mom comes in my room she Starts the torture again. And outside of my room is a must torture if her moms home. She doesn’t go near baby if her mom isn’t home. It’s as if she knows she ll do sth and go in her moms arms if I say sth.
2). She isn’t scared of me and doesn’t listen to me.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
Oh and hubby did pinch her back for the very first time though she had scratched him. Just to tell her how it felt. It was very first time that he did.
But that had no effect either.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
Is she going to school? usually at 4 kids go to school part time. If she does go to school may be you can finish your stuff without worrying about baby at that time.
It is an unfortunate situation, since you guys are living together it wold be nice if she could be caring older sister instead of a hostile one because chances are that being the only two kids at home(atleast now) they will play with each other in near future. Have you ever tried talking to her, say ‘aap kitni achi big sister ho, bhaya ka khial rakhti ho’, ’ yah aap ka chota sa baby brother hai’ ‘aap tu big sister ho, aap ko bhai ka khiayl rakhna hota hai and jab bhai bara ho jaey ga tu aap loog khelo ge’ wagerah.. tell her I will let you come in my room if you behave etc. If she doesnt by all means shoo her right out of your room.
But I would be strict with her if she continues to behave like a mad child. If I were you if she touch the baby maliciously I will hold her both hands and take her out of kitchen/your room.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
Oh dear it does seem like a hard situation.
Be consistent. And until she can behave try to exclude her completely. Anytime she hits/tries to hit, remover her physically from the area.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
Hmmm tough, next time have a discussion with your peadiatrician on how to deter 4 yr olds from being aggressive.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
There r 4 kids. She has 2 bigger siblings as well. N I tell her exactly what u said. I r his aapi. Achi aapi. Yeah apki chota Bhai hai. N she even says it herself mela chota she Bhai n then later bam! Hit!
She does goto skool f/t but now her summer vacation has started. Wen it dint start that’s wat I did finished tasks before she came home. N cuz she is home f/t now it’s getting tough. U have no idea how much effort I ve put in. I even tell her he ll goto ur skool n stuff to please her.
If she misbehaves in my room I tell her to leave n she dsnt listen. Then if I physically move her out of my room she cries which causes her mom to get upset. Which I feel gives her comfort that even if she misbehaves her mom will protect her. I cnt even think of moving her physically out of kitchen cuz of all drama n crying.
Yep a tough situ.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
Dnt give a damn about the mother. She doesn’t seem to knw how to control her child. Just remove, remove, remove every time. I am scared for your baby, God forbid she hurts him an it causes permanent damage
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
I really do feel for you 
its impossible to just lock yourself in a room all day to avoid the little monster, bandey ke 100 kaam hotey haiN.
Thinking of me being in that situation and having tried all that you had, I’d just smack the hand she hurt your kid with, EVERYTIME… hard enough to hurt her but nothing that causes any major damage.
Yes there’ll be drama and she’ll cry and her mum will get upset but so be it… hopefully this will pain the girl’s parents enough so that they are able to effectively discipline her iA.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
Next time pick her and take her to the mother/father and say apni bachi sambhalain. Keep doing no matter what her parents think.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
She is coming bak in a few days. I m thinking I ll pick one method and folow it be it hitting hand, excluding her, taking her to parents, or even doing the same back to her that she does to baby.
One thing though. Ever since I ve talked to parents, parents ESP mother has started to notice her daughters behaviour and at times has disciplined her. That has included mother distracting her, smacking her in head, etc.
It’s just no matte what we try it just stops being effective after 2-3 times and I don’t think we overdo disciplining.
The whole problem is when her behaviour started we took it lightly. Even shrugged it off and if I tried to make a fuss I was discouraged. That’s why it has gotten so extreme and dangerous.
Please you all don’t ever let your child hit anyone or get hit by anyone.
I get labelled as a protective or over sensitive parent. But I do t care anymore.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
you know who’s suffering most in this situation? not you, but your poor little baby. In your efforts to stay civil with your sil/bil, you’re letting your child get hurt. what is more important for you ? your baby’s safety or being nice? i’m not pro hitting but you have to do something that stops this girl from her aggressive behaviour.
when i was young and did / say something inappropriate in public, my mother would pinch me hard. that always stopped me in my tracks. you said your husband pinched her but that had no effect, imo i don’t think he pinched hard enough.
the very least you can do is yell at her with a shocked/distressed face, in a tone and manner that would embarrass the parents, and if that doesnt work, i would tell her parents straight out that if their child touches yours one more time, you will slap her hard and add " phir mujhe kuch na kehna, may bata chuki hoon aap ko".
you’ve let this go on for far too long.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
Tranquil I did adopt the shocked distressed angry voice. Parents dint do nything and girl had no effect other than that she started getting a lil bit scared of me. Then I finally talked to father to make it stop. He talked to mother and kiddo. Kiddo stopped for a couple of days and the. Back to normal.
I ve decided enuf is enuf. I ll hit her if need be. I don’t care.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
i hope it works out for you! kisses for your little one <3
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
I would’ve slapped her by now in front of her mother father in laws. Enough is enough. Or else slap the mother! This thread is making me angry and my maternal instinct is red hot right now. Just be very firm assertive. Otherwise slap ! Slap!!!
Yes! Same or pinch her hard n show her how the baby feels! I’d humiliate her parents infront of in laws!
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
This cnt be done. Humiliating parents part cuz of the position her parents hold. Though in laws have witnessed it n told girl off too, me humiliating parents wud shift the onus from protecting baby to me being rude and in laws will defend her I m sure.
Also after a recent incident I had a chat with mil about it n she said “baron k tallukaat to Nain Karan key ja skate” so that says a lot. Though mil loves baby but if I will b rude to parens it will become an issue and in laws won’t support me IMO.because mil n fil dnt live with us, I ve decided to take measures the way I want to not in front of them. Mil is leaving before girl comes bak so tats no issue.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
I would not advise hitting or being mean since you have already talked to the parents. If you actively avoid being in the same vicinity as the girl they might seriously take up disciplining the kid. At this point your child’s protection is your responsibility, leave housework aside if you have to, just get up and leave the room and take your son to a safer area. Just say " oho, iss bachi ka koi patta nahi, kab aaker maar dey, its better if I keep baby away"
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
What’s the update?