I would not care whether someone thinks about me as a "bad guy good guy" thing or not when its about protecting my baby! I don't know why people are taking "my idea of hitting baby" kind of violent!! I said, just smack her, don't hit her hard!! If you can't do that, let your husband do that, after all, she is your husband's-kin brother's daughter!! He has every right to handle the baby and protecting his's!!
When you become a parent, you learn that you can't react any which way you want. It's about doing the right thing because one day it may be your child who is the aggressor and being inappropriate towards someone else's child. The approach you are advocating will not serve any purpose other than to cause more discord amongst the adults.
Being proactive, rather than reactive, is the key.
OP, just dot have your baby around the little girl. Period.
When you become a parent, you learn that you can't react any which way you want. It's about doing the right thing because one day it may be your child who is the aggressor and being inappropriate towards someone else's child. The approach you are advocating will not serve any purpose other than to cause more discord amongst the adults.
Being proactive, rather than reactive, is the key.
OP, just dot have your baby around the little girl. Period.
I agree Khatti and I am fully-aware that in future, my child can be like the little girl too, but in that case, I am sure, I will stop my child to do that before someone comes and hits her. I may not be a parent at the moment but I know, even if I need to be strict towards him/her, I will be, I would never want to spoil or encourage my child, not because of how he will annoy others but because I would myself not want to raise my child in such a manner where he can be a sar-ka-dard for me too!!
When the girl hits your baby tell the mom right out that she is continuing this behavior even after you spoke to her about it. Be rude if need be, you can speak in a firm voice to the girl and tell her to leave and go to her mom and tell the reason each time. Hopefully over time the mom will become so offended that she doesn't let her daughter any where near you.
the OP needs to ensure that the child is no where near her baby. if she waits and hopes for the other parents to take responsibility it may be too late. her child has already suffered much abuse from the niece
For those suggesting don't let her close she comes out of no where. Even when my baby is in my lap she comes and starts her violent behaviour.
Lets c how today goes. Will try wat u guys suggested. Plz pray for my baby's safety.
I agree Khatti and I am fully-aware that in future, my child can be like the little girl too, but in that case, I am sure, I will stop my child to do that before someone comes and hits her. I may not be a parent at the moment but I know, even if I need to be strict towards him/her, I will be, I would never want to spoil or encourage my child, not because of how he will annoy others but because I would myself not want to raise my child in such a manner where he can be a sar-ka-dard for me too!!
That's not thr point here. It's obvious that the parents in this case have not taught their child nor do they care like they should. How you or I or anyone will or has raised our children is irrelevant here. OP asked for specific advise on how to deal with this child and most parents here have agreed that hitting someone else's 4 year old is not the solution.
I think 4 year olds are old enough to understand. She goes to school, ask her parents if her teacher would allow her to hit other kids and get away with it? No and she probably doesnt hit because she understands that she shouldnt.
Just dont let her near the baby and tell her why. And if she still manages to hit; put her in time out/take her fave toy/ cancel something she was looking forward too. Warn her before she comes near; and if she hits, give her a consequence there and then.
Okay. I am really upset right now.
As some of u may remember that I posted about 4 year old niece who bullies my now MA 8 month old baby.
She hits him pinches him now snatches his toys from him pokes him with a fork and u name it she does it. She is quite stubborn and doesn't listen. I ve tried everything! I ve tried to distract her, bought her things, been strict with her and what not.
Just this afternoon she pressed on his soft spot. She has been pressing his head for some aus but today she pressed hard.
I don't know what to do. Please tell me it's okay to press the soft spot because I just can't make her stop. She is very stubborn and the more I ask her to not do it the more she does it. Distraction won't help her either because she knows I don't like rad touching and she would know when I m trying to distract her so she won't get distracted.
Please help.
So, what happened? Did she back off? I'm interested in this thread.
After speaking 2nd time to parents, I ve seen huge progress. Parents have gotten more proactive in stoping her. Meal times r more peaceful. Parents r mindful of daughter when she is around baby and esp when he is eating.
I am happy how things r going now. AH.
One thing I ve noticed though is that the second she sees her mom she starts to bully or attack baby. I don't know why that is. But if I am only around then AH she behaves.
Thank u all. If it weren't for u guys I d still be upset.
RV is being funny and implying that the child has the mark of the devil.
I think the fact that she does this around mom more could just be to get attention from her mom. Kids will try to get attention from their parents, either positive or negative. Mom might need to look in to whether she's getting enough positive attention/reinforcement. But I don't think you should say anything about it atm.
RoseAli…no need to feel stupid. If you haven’t already started reading up on these things though, I suggest you start. It will help alleviate first time mom jitters if you have an idea if what to expect.
Babycenter.com is an excellent resource, as well as what to expect when you’re expecting (google it).
Update: things got better for a few days and then back to same hitting, pinching. This time she even threw things at him from a distance which AH don’t hit him. She scratched him on his cheek hard enough that blood came out. It wasn’t trickling blood but u know when you get scratched your skin peels and blood comes? That!
And this happened while both hubby and I were holding him/sitting with him. Point is no matter how much we try to protect him from her she just does it.
She is gone on vacation and will be back soon.
I am not a bad mother. But I do feel like one when I fail to protect him or when she succeeds at bullying him. I ve shared this wid other ppl and usually I get a response like I m being over protective/over sensitive. Am I?
No you are not being over sensitive rather you are being negligent in preventing your baby from coming to harm. You have already been given a lot if advice on how to tackle it which you are not taking on board.
^umm not taking advice on board? I am doing everything that I could other than hitting her/locking her in bathroom.
I ve talked to parents, keep baby u set my or hubby’s supervision, distracted her, been nice / stricrt with her. What else is left?
She isn’t scared of me and doesn’t listen to me. And like I said last incidents happedwhile he was under our supervision.
Plz don’t blame me. I am already depressed.
