Okay. I am really upset right now.
As some of u may remember that I posted about 4 year old niece who bullies my now MA 8 month old baby.
She hits him pinches him now snatches his toys from him pokes him with a fork and u name it she does it. She is quite stubborn and doesn’t listen. I ve tried everything! I ve tried to distract her, bought her things, been strict with her and what not.
Just this afternoon she pressed on his soft spot. She has been pressing his head for some aus but today she pressed hard.
I don’t know what to do. Please tell me it’s okay to press the soft spot because I just can’t make her stop. She is very stubborn and the more I ask her to not do it the more she does it. Distraction won’t help her either because she knows I don’t like rad touching and she would know when I m trying to distract her so she won’t get distracted.
Please help.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
According to this site its not that bad but I wouldn’t have anyone press it on purpose repeatedly…
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
Where is this girl's mother?
If I were you, I would tell her to stop it and explain you have to be gentle with a baby. Explain that she was once a baby too. Even if her parents sit there quietly, I would say something but do it in a way a 4 year old can understand, meaning gently. Give her a doll and let her pretend to be a mommy who has to look after her baby.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
Where is this girl's mother?
If I were you, I would tell her to stop it and explain you have to be gentle with a baby. Explain that she was once a baby too. Even if her parents sit there quietly, I would say something but do it in a way a 4 year old can understand, meaning gently. Give her a doll and let her pretend to be a mommy who has to look after her baby.
Mom doesn't say much or doesn't say it strictly enuf. Sometimes I feel mothers behaviour encourages girl though its not deliberate. I guess mom doesn't realize that her behaviour encourages daughter.
As far as bringing dolls and all that goes girl knows its for distraction and when she is in that bullying mode nothing works.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
I am sorry but I need to be true. If I were you and if would have tried everything to stop her and still find her annoying, I would slap her. Not on the cheeks but maybe at her back or at her hips. Her mother should be looking after her and if she doesn't, she will definitely once she finds her baby slapped. A four year old kid is still a kid but not the one who can't understand your message or words.
I say if she is doing it deliberately, she needs a slap... give it at her back, scold her, but dont stay quite now. Your silence and actually her mother's silence is encouraging her. Dont let it happen. Your baby is really REALLY a lil baba.
A slap would not only teach the kid lesson but will teach a lesson to her mother too. This step had to be taken by her mother but she isn't. Take your turn. You have every right to protect your baby.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
I am sorry but I need to be true. If I were you and if would have tried everything to stop her and still find her annoying, I would slap her. Not on the cheeks but maybe at her back or at her hips. Her mother should be looking after her and if she doesn't, she will definitely once she finds her baby slapped. A four year old kid is still a kid but not the one who can't understand your message or words.
I say if she is doing it deliberately, she needs a slap... give it at her back, scold her, but dont stay quite now. Your silence and actually her mother's silence is encouraging her. Dont let it happen. Your baby is really REALLY a lil baba.
A slap would not only teach the kid lesson but will teach a lesson to her mother too. This step had to be taken by her mother but she isn't. Take your turn. You have every right to protect your baby.
Thank you queen_24 thats exactly what I wanted to say but I felt like i was going to sound horrible :(
but its for real! sometimes kids don't learn till they are taught. and when their own parents ignore it that encourages them and if you honestly think you cant smack her then for sureee mention it to her mom and tell her strictly that just like shes her baby and she wouldn't want anyone/anything hurting her you want the same for your child and she should be more strict with her daughter.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
I don't recommend hitting someone else's child at all. But exercise constant vigilance around your child, be strict about telling the 4 yr old off in front of her mom as well as dad.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
I agree with raania. Be vigilant about your baby - don't let him get too close to the child and stop her before she is able to do any physical hurt. Speak directly to the mother after scolding the child...they should be doing the disciplining, not you.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
It is impossible to watch one's baby constantly, to do it means that one does/think nothing else and just glue ourselves to the baby... this isn't a practical solution at all.
I'd say the OP have a very serious talk with the girl's mother... demand that she discipline her kid, or she will (and follow it up with whatever it takes)... her nunna munna's safety is a priority here.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
I don't recommend hitting someone else's child at all. But exercise constant vigilance around your child, be strict about telling the 4 yr old off in front of her mom as well as dad.
I agree with raania. Be vigilant about your baby - don't let him get too close to the child and stop her before she is able to do any physical hurt. Speak directly to the mother after scolding the child...they should be doing the disciplining, not you.
Constant watch? Being Vigilant? Do you think one would ignore her a few month old baby?? There is nothing to be mentioned. I am sure, a mother would already do it. Infact I am well-experienced about seeing such kids around. Ones who don't even care that the baby is in his mama's lap.......they come near to the baby to kiss and give a slap or bite and run away.......just in an instant!
Yeah, I know, I know very well that its not a good idea to hitting someone's baby and that is why I would do anything or everything to stop my kid to mess around so he doesnt come back with a complain of being slapped.
I have seen such mothers, who are well aware that no one like NO ONE can hit there kid and they have this thought.. "koi maar ke to dikhaye mairay bachhay ko" but then YOU need to be strict about your kid. You should take steps to stop him teasing others. I have seen mothers saying, Bachha hay, shararti hai!! I dont get why some mothers cant differentiate between Shararat and Badtameezi!!
The kid the OP is talking about seems one Badtameez bachhi........and since the kid is a bachhi, all credit goes to her mother for raising her badtameez, for not teaching her manners OR for not stopping her to do something which is not right.
What is she waiting for?? Will her daughter hit the lil baby hard and god forbid cause some serious injury to the lil child and THEN she will standup and say......Aw beta tum ne kiya kiya????
I dont think one should wait for such situation to scold their kid.
So, yeah, the best suggestion..... go and slap her. Only then she would know, how it feels when one hits another's baby!!
If a kid comes to me and hits me, I will never appreciate (experienced) and would stop him/her by my words or actions, but IF a child comes near to my kid, deliberately hurt him once or twice, maybe I can ignore but if he does it more than thrice and I see his mother is not taking step, I am sorry, I will NOT BE QUIET!! I will slap the baby because I dont want my baby to be hurt.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
maybe you have never come across “such kind of” kids 
Ye ek alag hi khep hay 
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
sorry for derailing your thread but do 8 moth old have a soft spot? I thought after first 3 months, the soft spot is not quite soft and fragile anymore.
However, I do agree with with Mehnaz has suggested. If that doesn't work, put your baby in a restricted area where the child cannot reach her. Playpen, maybe fence some area for your son. Actually that will give the niece's parents a very strong message.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
I typed in hurry when I started this thread.
I can't tell u how vigilant I am. I don't leave baby unattended even for a second. Either myself or hubby r always watching. There r exceptions but mostly we r always watching. Even I take his bouncer to kitchen when I m in kitchen.
But like queen said kids do it so fast u just can't be prepared. It's happened so many times that pyar Kertay Kertay she hits him or bites him or
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
^yeah. Thats what I said. Ye aik "Qisam" hay bachhon ki....lol!!
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
Have your husband intervene.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
Have your husband intervene.
Talked to hubby. He will talk. But I m thinking I ll do the talking cuz hubby hasn't seen her bullying at its peak.
She is in her worst mood wen she comes home from school and that's when she does it the most. By the time hubby comes home she has calmed down a bit.
Like she will be eating one second and annoying baby the other. It's so hard to predict her. She will come close saying mera pyara Bhai or sth similar so I will let her come close and bang! She does her "waardaat".
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
There are 2 soft spots. 1 at the back and one on top. The one at the back(posterior fontanels) close max by 4 months. But the top one close around 18 months.
sorry for derailing your thread but do 8 moth old have a soft spot? I thought after first 3 months, the soft spot is not quite soft and fragile anymore.
However, I do agree with with Mehnaz has suggested. If that doesn't work, put your baby in a restricted area where the child cannot reach her. Playpen, maybe fence some area for your son. Actually that will give the niece's parents a very strong message.
He is always with me when hubby isn't home even that I take him to kitchen or take him to bedroom and lock it when I have to goto washroom. I think that's quite a strong message.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
Mom doesn't say much or doesn't say it strictly enuf. Sometimes I feel mothers behaviour encourages girl though its not deliberate. I guess mom doesn't realize that her behaviour encourages daughter. As far as bringing dolls and all that goes girl knows its for distraction and when she is in that bullying mode nothing works.
You need to find lil Angelica's soft spots and tickle them a heated chain saw.
More seriously....Buying her toys just sends her the message that she's being rewarded. A four-year-old doesn't quite understand when you're attempting to distract her or employ some other strategy. You need to be direct and honest with her mother. And it doesn't have to be rude. Just tell her ..."I've hesitated many times in having this discussion with you because I don't want it to sour our relationship, but it's been bothering me for quite some time and I'm hoping you'll help me. I've caught your daughter pinching, hitting, and stabbing my son with a fork. He has a sensitive spot on his head and she continues to press it after I've told her many times not to. I've tried distracting her with toys. I've given her warnings. None of it worked. Your warnings are not working either. She's not listening to either of us, so could you please take care of this...because what you've tried so far has not helped."
Just tell the woman. That's what I would do. Let her know at the beginning that this isn't easy for u to discuss, that you don't want to hurt the relationship....that way she knows you don't arbor ill feelings. And proceed to tell her exactly what you've seen her kid do....and tell her the strategies u used so she understands that you have tried to manage it on your own and you'e frustrated. If need be talk to her husband.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
If I were you and husband wasn't intervening. I would talk with the mother. If the mother wouldn't listen then I would be very strict and rude to teh mom. I think the mom is your dewarani/ jethani. I guess that's what holding you back because it would cause a rift. I suggest you create a ruckus when the child does something again and complain loudly to the mom. If the mom gets mad she will probably not let her daughter go near you guys. If it spoils relations, it spoils relations. Its your babya nd you need to look after him. This child is a bully and her parents are helping her be a bully. Don't hit the child. Not because its not nice etc. but it will give the child's mother a very good excuse against you. Don't let her use that. Maybe you could speak to the child's dad or your MIL too.
Re: And she presses babys soft spot!
^Disagree a bit with you. I don't think she should create a ruckus. Making it dramatic will fuel tension within the family. I think she should discuss calmly, but firmly...mention that mom's warnings have not worked.
OP, is it possible for you to gently discuss this masla with BOTH of her parents at the same time? You know your in-laws better and if this won't make matters worse, then consider this option. If you only say that she hits the baby, they might picture her patting him a bit roughly. You need to tell either the mom or both parents in greater detail exactly what their daughter is doing (stabbing with sharp object, poking him even after you tell her to stop so they know she's being deliberately badtameez).