Re: am i wrong ...
if your getting married in PK it is not a rawaj for ppl to stay in hotels....most ppl decorate the dulha and dulhan's room for them to stay there....u can try to clear out the rooms and area next to where they will be staying....for more privacy....but hotels is not yet a tradition there. It is almost the samething if your staying at his house....actually the nice thing abt it is u get to do the rasams which is a big part of the function as well.....so consider it...or try to come in the middle....do ur rasms at his home and then when the guest leave go to a hotel....but then u will be extremely tired if u do that....so thats why i was saying staying at his house is best....just have them vacate the area around ur room...
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loll!! yeah rite!! ^^
i agree w/ u.. it's not a tradition.. but hey if ure paki then u know pakis.. ppl will DELIBERATELY want to stay in the adjacent rooms n spend the nites with their ears on the walls... esp the guy's cousins... and i would personally be MORE embarassed w/ people ESPECIALLY being asked to vacate the rooms next to mine just b/c...........
we're all glad to help u honey19.. hopefully u can settle the matter decently w/ ur hubby...
n worse comes to worse... just be normal abt it if u cant get ur way in the end... ull have a lifetime of lets-make-a-night-to-remember nights w/ ur hubby inshAllah :) so go w/ the flow... dont fret urself over these things :)
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^^ ya, will have to take things as they'll come in the end ..
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HOney*19 howz ur prepartion for this wedding is going on ???
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oh, well .. nothing much is going on right now, as im still in germany, and will be hopefully leaving at the end of this month .. sabb tayaari wahan pakistan jaake hogi , or abhi bohet khuch decide karna hai, like funktion hona bhi hai ya nehi , or agar hona hai, to sirf ek din ka , ya proper three day wedding, as it is normally...
quite irretating, i know ... i but cant help it ..
but got all ma research togetha , tru gupshup, which im quite happy abt, GS was really a big help ...
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but u knw here if u really want to reserve some good hall ...7 to 8 month pehlai sai booking hooo jate hai ..we our self boook ...it was an ART MESS HALL ...as my father was in army ..that suits us more ..and he is senior enough ...just 3rd in command after Mushraff ..soo as our most of the guests were the higher laut of Pak army Generals so we really hav to arrange things/ Locations ... that suits them all ...
I dont knw abt ur arrangements ...agar to aachii jagah book kerwah hai then u really need at 3 to 4 months tim span ...for booking ..anyway ap ka in laws ne kush nah kush arrange kia hoo gah ..End pe tayareee sari baag dooor mai hoo ge anyway lets hop for the best ..panik mai khabi khabaar kaam kharaab bee hoo jatai hai ...u knw very well in pak Loog dosroo ki majbooree se faidha utha ne ki koshish kertai hai ...its ok u dont need to worry ...
Re: am i wrong ...
i think ure susral may be on the traditional side and want things done how they are usually done....
going to the house first and then the hotel is nothing new in pakistan and most ppl are opting for this way so u get the mu dikhai and rasams done aswell as give the couple some privacy by allowing them to go to a hotel.
i recently got married and my in laws were very helpful... everything was done on time.. i got ruksath around 12.30 1 am.. hall and home werent so far away in distance... in laws quickly did rasams and mu dikhai and we were on our way to the hotel arriving by 2.30 i think (our residence was nazimbad and hotel was on shahre faisal so long drive.. but there wasnt much traffic) so its doable... ...they even had the room decorated with rose petals... next day we didnt have to check out until 5 so both families were ok with the bride not making an early morning entrance at her maica or susral... we just stayed at the hotel until check out time..
BUT.. it helped that both families were thiking of the newly weds rather than what ppl would say and weren't hell bent on following tradition either... what was important was done... what wasnt (like me coming home early the next day for nastha etc) was left out... i think it worked out great.... again, only cuz both families kept a broad mind on this issue...
if ure in laws feel they would rather do things traditionally.. i guess it wouldnt hurt :) u'll still get ure privacy in ure own room... aur waise bhi.. ure leaving the next day neways... so its not really that bad...
marriage is all about compromises... learn to pick ure battles... dont really think u lose out on a whole lot in this case... chin up :)
Re: am i wrong ...
i think ure susral may be on the traditional side and want things done how they are usually done....
going to the house first and then the hotel is nothing new in pakistan and most ppl are opting for this way so u get the mu dikhai and rasams done aswell as give the couple some privacy by allowing them to go to a hotel.
i recently got married and my in laws were very helpful... everything was done on time.. i got ruksath around 12.30 1 am.. hall and home werent so far away in distance... in laws quickly did rasams and mu dikhai and we were on our way to the hotel arriving by 2.30 i think (our residence was nazimbad and hotel was on shahre faisal so long drive.. but there wasnt much traffic) so its doable... ...they even had the room decorated with rose petals... next day we didnt have to check out until 5 so both families were ok with the bride not making an early morning entrance at her maica or susral... we just stayed at the hotel until check out time..
BUT.. it helped that both families were thiking of the newly weds rather than what ppl would say and weren't hell bent on following tradition either... what was important was done... what wasnt (like me coming home early the next day for nastha etc) was left out... i think it worked out great.... again, only cuz both families kept a broad mind on this issue...
if ure in laws feel they would rather do things traditionally.. i guess it wouldnt hurt :) u'll still get ure privacy in ure own room... aur waise bhi.. ure leaving the next day neways... so its not really that bad...
marriage is all about compromises... learn to pick ure battles... dont really think u lose out on a whole lot in this case... chin up :)
I have a slightly off topic question - is the bride & groom going to the girls house for nashta the next morning an important tradition in most families?
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Don't the girls family come over to the new house for nashta? That's how i always saw it done...
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^i always found that absurd. come to think of it. i dislike the way marriage drones on and on. the same money could be used by newly weds to start a new life but nah the circus is arranged.
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...but nah the circus is arranged.
lol.....
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the nastha thing is common in most families, even mine. But its not written in stone... so we left it out since we rather liked the idea of not having to get up early and going back home (shaadi hogayi yaar, jaan choro buss logo!).
As long as understanding ppl are involved, a shaadi doesnt have to be full of stress and tension (the kind that usually is added on cuz of culture and traditions)..
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honey its beter to decide the hotel room ...than the home Bcoz the location that u hav mensioned i mean thattt ...dhooook.... that is really an old kinda town ...so beter opt for the room in hotel ....
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i will definitely try everything which is possible to make him understand and have things like i want them ..
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So...what was the final decision?
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well, final yeh huwa thah , kay me gonna go to pak alone, will stay at a hotel for the whole stay :D , we'll have the walima and we'll come back to germany after that .... LEKIN ! ...
now hes sayin, we wont have anything of that, he'll just come when he gets his Visa for gemany, i m kinda sick of all that now, cuz it seems, its a joke to everybody in ma family, ma mom doesnt want to talk to his mom, as They were the one who did this rishta, its not a love marriage or so,
may baat karoon, may unn ko yeh kahoon may unnko wo kahoon. i mean what is that ...
and besides all that,. he told me that the truth actually is that his mom actually walima karna hee ney chahti hein .. and i was just thinking, ya right, unnka bas yehi hai kay unnka ek rupaya spend na ho or unnka beta germany ponch jaye ..
i really dun know what to do and what to go for , to say yes, ok .. i wont have a wedding as most of the gurls have, i wont go for honeymoon, i wont do my wedding shopping, its just depressing ..
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^ AWWWWWWW 
I’m sorry, that’s really sad 
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wow
wonderful …
App Jeet gie …or woo haaaaaar gie
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Talk about stupidity, didnt u read teh last part of her post? else why wud u be saying such a dumb thing 
Re: am i wrong ...
and besides all that,. he told me that the truth actually is that his mom actually walima karna hee ney chahti hein .. and i was just thinking, ya right, unnka bas yehi hai kay unnka ek rupaya spend na ho or unnka beta germany ponch jaye ..
i really dun know what to do and what to go for , to say yes, ok .. i wont have a wedding as most of the gurls have, i wont go for honeymoon, i wont do my wedding shopping, its just depressing ..
That's horrible~!
Valima toh laazmi hota! after rukhsati, its necessary to have the valima asap...
But why can't you go for a honeymoon? Is there a time-limit? After rukhsati, why dont u atke him wherever u want?
Hooney, dont be depressed, it's really lousy that ur in-laws are taking such an important and precious thing away from you..if the only thing that makes u want to keep thsi rishta going is coz u love ur husband, it seems like ull hav an uphill battle rest of ur married life...but wont u be shopping/having a function for your mehndi and rukhsati day?