hey ladies … 
getting married in june but will be leaving for the wedding this may inshallah …
i am quite frank with my hubby and we almost talk abt everything ..
now today, we fought abt something which is upsetting me ..
i told him, that i wanna stay in a hotel after the barat day and dun wanna go to his home place, as the next day is going to be the walima and the other day we’ll leave back for germany where i actually live ..
the problem is, that he is not getting that ..
why u dun wanna stay here .. hotel may kya hai .. loog kya kahein gay, barat ghar kyun ney ai .. this and that
now u guys tell me .. whats wrong in that ? in case we stay and spend our nupital night in a hotel …
im quite confused abt that and i really dont know why hes makin such a drama out of it … aint that “normal” if you bok a hotel and stay there .. 
and plz also tell me how could i make him understand that i dun wanna stay at his place better in a hotel …
Re: am i wrong ...
ohh i feel ur pain! i would be MAD! but
as far as "loong kya kahein gay" i hate when ppl say that! i would tell ur hubby who cares what people think....he should only be concerned about what u think sinc eur his wife and ur opinion matters above all.
Doesnt ur husb know this is the day to "consumate" the relationship...be non chalant about this instead of being mad...(hard i know!) but say ok fine i dont feel comfortable comsumating this relationship in a house filled w. parents and god knows how many other people...so its hotel or no sex on barat nite! then lets see how quickly things change!
Re: am i wrong ...
go to teh family home after the ruqsatti, have whtever rasams ppl do, and then go to a hotel. that should only leave hard core trouble makers with something to talk about.
Re: am i wrong ...
ya, i know man .. even i hate that .. kay loog kya kahein gay ...
and ya i told him so many times i wont feel comfortable stayin at ur place and all that .. lekin ney ... he refuses and i really dun know how to make him see reason and understand me .. :(
lekin ur idea is not bad, try kar kay dekhoongi .. lolzzz.. dekhte hein wat he says ..lolzz
Re: am i wrong ...
yeh .. Mr. Fraudia... ek option yeh bi hai ... dekhte hein kya hota hai
Re: am i wrong ...
Thats a better option...But anyway u guys will be leaving the next day anyway...I know if u want u could stay at the main home..but then again u 'll remember the sulky feeling all your life...reach a compromise so both of u arent angry at it...and hey !! Welcome to Marriage:D
Re: am i wrong ...
good luck! i would withhold whatever i can and cause a stink...it appears this is really upsetting u....as it should......tell him to be a man and grow up and not be a mamas boy cuz im sure the parents are putting this idea into his head...or else why would he even care right?
frustrating!!! hope all goes well.....
Re: am i wrong ...
p.s.. is this an evening wedding? cuz how cna u go to his home then go back to hotel? in that pakistani traffic? good luck u might get like 20 min sleep before its valima time! and trust if u go back to the home....even if u try to leave...something will happen...new ppl will show up...ull have to feed them for the 50th time...ull never get back to the hotel.....u just wont have the time.
Re: am i wrong ...
... ya ....
and yeh welcome to marriage .. lolzzz... thanks
Re: am i wrong ...
go to teh family home after the ruqsatti, have whtever rasams ppl do, and then go to a hotel. that should only leave hard core trouble makers with something to talk about.
Um they cant come to the hotel to do the rasams and leave? Thats what they did....
Maan honey, that really sucks~!!
Re: am i wrong ...
hmmm. maybe I have my rose colored glasses on here again but what if his family is planning to have a flower-bed for the bridal couple, all the trimmings and trappings etc?
Re: am i wrong ...
Um they cant come to the hotel to do the rasams and leave? Thats what they did....
Maan honey, that really sucks~!!
they can and that would make more sense but if takin the baraat to the house and have the dulhan enter and all is so important as it is for some families, then thats when u would do a little home hotel hopscotch
Re: am i wrong ...
hmmm. maybe I have my rose colored glasses on here again but what if his family is planning to have a flower-bed for the bridal couple, all the trimmings and trappings etc?
they can decorate a hotel room as well. they may have to payy the hotel a littl for clean up but its doable
Re: am i wrong ...
p.s.. is this an evening wedding? cuz how cna u go to his home then go back to hotel? in that pakistani traffic? good luck u might get like 20 min sleep before its valima time! and trust if u go back to the home....even if u try to leave...something will happen...new ppl will show up...ull have to feed them for the 50th time...ull never get back to the hotel.....u just wont have the time.
how many day time weddings are there in pakistan?
Now depending on time of ruqsatti, currently averaging at what midnight or 1 a.m.
by the time they get home and are done with rasams its going to be even later, at that time going to a hotel is not going to be a huge issue because traffic will be very light. seen it done many times. we did that at my wedding as well.. although we were all out of town so we had rasams in one hotel where everyone was staying and then we went to the hotel we were staying at.
It would depend on the area that you are in, and the hotel that you choose. if you are in clifton, pechs, or close to hassan square, it would take you 15, 25, and 40 mins maximum to get to these hotels, which is time well spent.
Re: am i wrong ...
what i heard from others that in pakistan nowadays, they even start serving food after midnight or so your rukhsati would be around 2 or 3am. i dont think so after that long and tiring day you and him would want to drive to the hotel or would have the energy to do 'anything'(who knows ..hehe). staying home would be the better idea i think and you can save time (from driving to and back from hotel) and should rather sleep extra hour or two to look fresh on your walima
.. and yes, for some families bringing Dulhan straight to home means a lot. they are so much into this rasms thingy .. you should respect their wishes too.
Re: am i wrong ...
^ Shouldn't they respect any of HER wishes too??
Re: am i wrong ...
^ its usually 'Give and take'... not other way around
Re: am i wrong …
Well we dont what’ she’s being given and what she’s giving them…we only know this one thing that they’r emaking a big deal abt… Honey if its such a big deal to you, then by all means, make a fuss :k:
Re: am i wrong ...
agar sach poocho to wo ander say to iss hakk may bhi ney hein, kay koi ceremony ho ... bas visa lage or munnda germany ajaye ... but i wont let that happen, i am not a lawaris jo mere parents pakistan akar meri shaadi nar karein ...
ya, guys thats another problem i have right now .. lolzzz..
kisi say decide ney hora kay karna kya hai or kya ney ... such a bull****, meri shaadi ka mezaakh benaya huwa hai .. kasam say ..
