am i being selfish?

Pendu, it's a noble suggestion on your part. And I know that a few girls would be open to a joint-dholki......but many would want their dholki to be separate and special like all the other celebratory days. It's a girl thing, hard for guys to understand. And especially when there's no obligation to share it with someone else.....she shouldn't have to. There's nothing wrong with your special day just being yours.