Re: Am I a horrible person for inquiring about the guy’s English speaking skills?
LOL SaeedinHouston, will you marry me? 
(you will have to overlook the fact that I’m older than you. And you must be willing to shave off that beard)
Re: Am I a horrible person for inquiring about the guy's English speaking skills?
He would be the father if your kids and passing off that English to them, so yes it is important.
I didn't realise grammar was an inherited trait. : |
Re: Am I a horrible person for inquiring about the guy’s English speaking skills?
masha Allah…mubaarak ho Sa’eed…amriika aate hii chhakka maar diiyaa! mubaarak ho! 
Re: Am I a horrible person for inquiring about the guy’s English speaking skills?
Agreed. Thanks for the advice.
I didn’t mean that your husband’s English is poor. I don’t think the average American has trouble with spoken English, as this guy was implying. He said something about, people migrate and travel to France/Germany/etc. where English speaking is generally not good but it doesn’t mean those people don’t get their jobs done or that their social life suffers. sigh It’s so frustrating when the next person doesn’t get your point, isn’t it?
On the other hand, my mom doesn’t help with comments like, jab university main theen, tab hi rishta kar dena chahiye tha. Parh likh ke sar pe charh gayi hain. Koi rishta pasand nahi aata. Ache bhale ko reject ker deti hain. :no:
Re: Am I a horrible person for inquiring about the guy's English speaking skills?
^Aap bas apni life enjoy karein.
Re: Am I a horrible person for inquiring about the guy’s English speaking skills?
That’s just wrong. You’re not being picky, and there is no need to regret educating you. This is the problem with our people. We’re in a complete pickle when it comes to our values, our education, and our general day to day decisions where we ignore or support the killing of fellow muslims, bhata khori, and all kinds of crimes. We educate our daughters, which is a key step out of this mess, and we end up regretting it, because dammit she now doesn’t want to settle for the crap that is rampant out there. 
I say, you keep looking for a good man, someone you can get along with and share your life. If you are having trouble communicating with someone over their broken English, then not worth to get into it with them, and if they share different values than you and are already making statements that are a turn-off in terms of values, then move on, leave this guy.
IMHO, he sounds like someone who is looking for an opportunity to immigrate, aur aap ko bewaqoof banaa raha hai. If someone told me that they’ll come here, but America really isn’t their true home, then I’d tell them to save their money for a visa, and not invest in a US citizenship, just stay put where you are Mr.
Re: Am I a horrible person for inquiring about the guy's English speaking skills?
I didn't realise grammar was an inherited trait. : |
No it's a learned one, if you have any blood discipline and desire to be good at something, it can be learnt. Easily too actually, plenty of books and courses on this, and maybe these losers just need to pay more attention in class in Pakistan, and they will see their English will be FANTASTIC.
It's more a reflection on a person's state of mind, that you are in a field that demands you know English, and you can't even master that. Either you're a total lazy arse, or you're really not in the field of finance. Or some really crappy company decided to settle for you. Oh and OR (my favorite), some moron hired you because your dad made a phone call. Which is the most likely scenario when it comes to Pakistanis and jobs.
Re: Am I a horrible person for inquiring about the guy's English speaking skills?
It's a big deal for me too. Personal preference means I need my man to be able to speak good English. Accent matters a lot and so does grammar.
OP could there be a misunderstanding in your belief of his English, some people when it comes to texting and whatapp reduce their sentences and grammar to texting mode and that doesn't always make sense?
However also have to point out that just because he has lived 6 years here, does not mean he will be proficient in English. My dad has lived here over 35 years and he still cannot speak English very well. It is heavily accented and his Grammar makes you want to kill yourself. In all those years, my dad hasn't picked it up.
Re: Am I a horrible person for inquiring about the guy's English speaking skills?
No it's a learned one, if you have any blood discipline and desire to be good at something, it can be learnt. Easily too actually, plenty of books and courses on this, and maybe these losers just need to pay more attention in class in Pakistan, and they will see their English will be FANTASTIC.
Not fair PCG. Learning a foreign language to an extent where you're as good as natives is by no means an easy task. The reason I can string a sentence or two in English is because a lot of money (by Pakistani standards) was spent on my education. I don't think I'd be half as good with the language if my mom had sent me to a regular private school and spent the spare cash on herself. Instead she chose to send me to the big bucks school and I got whooped if I didn't study.
Same goes for my dad and uncle. Their parents sent them and their sisters to the best school they could afford (English medium), despite the hardships they had to face. And they are grateful to their parents for doing that. They didn't learn English when they came to the US, they already knew it. The only thing they had to fix were their accents.
The point being, in Pakistan learning good English is a luxury few can afford. Even books, the good ones, cost a lot of money.
Most people memorize their English lessons, like they memorize the Quran. How many Arabic speaking plain Hafiz-e-Quran do you know?
That said if someone wants to move to an English speaking country they better start working on their English skills, no matter how hard it is. And one should always be open to criticism, how else can you improve yourself.
Re: Am I a horrible person for inquiring about the guy’s English speaking skills?
Haha. Don’t have a beard no more. So who’s moving? Saeed to Canada or madz to the USA.
Re: Am I a horrible person for inquiring about the guy’s English speaking skills?
I typed up a long paragraph on this but then decided a few simple words will sum it up…this is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard from someone who wants to immigrate to North America. 
Whatever…like I said already…forget his English. There are other things about his attitude that should bother you more lol. And unless your mother and/or sister plans on living with your husband too…you need to tell them to stop making you feel guilty for wanting someone you feel compatible with.
Re: Am I a horrible person for inquiring about the guy's English speaking skills?
Aww Saeed, your written English is pretty decent. Don't know about your accent.
Paheli, that's what he said too in his defense that Americans have the worst English yet they are ruling the world. ** **This guy just dismissed my point as "not important" and he took the argument as me questioning his authority. **To him, family is first and foremost. Language, money, job, friends, etc are all secondary and therefore not as important. If there is ever a conflict between any of these and his respect, then he comes first.** He also hates being told how things work in North America. He gets very defensive very easily. Says that he has been managing his career (he is in IT & HR) on his own for so long, so clearly he doesn't need to be told how things are. **He also says Canada is not our country. English is not our mother tongue. A job can come and go. Etc. But family is first. **I don't understand how improving one's language goes against family??? Or how one expects to support his family if he is unable to communicate properly and get a job?
Why am I being made to feel like I'm somehow below him and my concerns aren't worth discussing? He said, "what do you think about yourself, you're not the only professional in the world and go find a prince charles."
Going by this, the issue extends far beyond just his language skills--he's arrogant and irrational and quite frankly, an idiot.
He considers you below him and not important? Good. Consider this a blessing and good riddance to the moron.
And regarding your family--everyone here has said it better and God only knows how tough it is--but just remember that they're not the ones who have to live with a jerk for the rest of their lives.
It's amazing. If a French or Italian stud is found speaking broken English, it's cute. Our guy does it then it's stupid.
Tobah
Re: Am I a horrible person for inquiring about the guy’s English speaking skills?
Can I come to the wedding? 
Re: Am I a horrible person for inquiring about the guy's English speaking skills?
Ya..it better takes place in Toronto.
Re: Am I a horrible person for inquiring about the guy's English speaking skills?
I fantasize about the day that people in Pakistan will quit killing each other and work together to better themselves, and there will be more english-based schools with maaadern education that makes Pakistanis competetive in the global market. Until then... we western girls either suck it up and marry these guys, or not marry at all or pray we're awesome looking enough to actually catch a local fish.
Re: Am I a horrible person for inquiring about the guy's English speaking skills?
Madz, his English is really bad if he says things like "listen it" or " he do". It would be a big deal for me too.
Re: Am I a horrible person for inquiring about the guy’s English speaking skills?
Haven’t posted in ages in life1 but yes, you seem too picky and **you yourself have made few grammatical mistakes and blunders in your post. **
Your mother is right.
If you are so bold enough to make a huge argument over something small then why not marry with a man who is English Major or a professor of English language? 
That will not only put you at ease but will save you from being embarrassed in front of your (possibly jealous) friend(s).
Remember, make up your mind based on your own opinion of the guy. Female friends may deliberately make some comments or two so they do not lose you as a friend if you get married, or they may simply be jealous.
Happens more often than you could imagine. Even when women are married their single friends (at times their married friends too) make comments to make married women uneasy of their marital relationship, if they are jealous for one or other reason.
I have not read any posts before so sorry for any repetition.
Don’t judge people for superficial reasons.
And by the way what is a typical Pakistani guy? 
Re: Am I a horrible person for inquiring about the guy’s English speaking skills?
Even though I like the jest of this post and no qualms about it…but for the OP, with all due respect to khattichick, I will take liberty to point out the pure grammatical mistakes honorable khattichick made.
1- I was born and raised here. You cannot mix two tenses present and past together in one sentence.
2- Had there been times when I inwardly cringed at something he said or wrote in a text/email?
You cannot repeat word “have” in one sentence, it seems very redundant. You have to add the word and and a new part of the sentence with have to make it sound acceptable.
3- He asks me grammar related questions all the time.
He’ll makes it a future sentence but when you say all the time it is contradictory and takes the sentence to the past or something he never has done but you are predicting it in the future.
Also it is not correct to say grammatical related questions…since it is also redundant. grammatical means related to grammar.
Re: Am I a horrible person for inquiring about the guy’s English speaking skills?
My dad’s English has come a long way though he still sometimes makes basic mistakes with things like verb tenses. It didn’t transfer over to us kids. Alhumdolillah, he sent my siblings and I to the best school so that our English would be better…so we have a better future, etc. I’ve taught many students who speak better English than their parents. So the comment about kids’ English turning out as weak as the parents is bull; not necessarily so as it can be influenced by other factors. Sometimes the biggest bongiyan can come from the highly educated…
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