Re: Age Differences
34 yr old going for 23 yr old becomes extrapolated to 60 yr old going for 20 yr old to suit witchhunt agenda. typical resident pseudo-feminist action thread..
Re: Age Differences
Yes, let’s all blame men. As usual. You yourself admit that marrying a man 7 years older is “settling”, and that if you found someone younger you’d go for it, yet you want guys to marry women their own age out of some kind of moral obligation. 
Re: Age Differences
Yes, they should stick to people their own age. Maybe it will persuade men to get married younger than waiting once they're older. There is a severe imbalance here. An older guy will expect that in exchange for money, his waning sexual attraction should be tolerated. He may not be as virile, and no one cares about that. He may have some wrinkles, receding hairline, baldspot even, and THAT gets tolerated in exchange for money.
I know 35 year old girls who are making a crap load of money in their careers, but they're single. Does anyone ask for them? No, because the income a woman earns, the success of her career, her intelligence, her lifetime accomplishments, her maturity and samajdari all do not matter. What matters is her youthful skin, and perky boobs.
It's not about a moral obligation, only, it's about evening out the scales here.
Re: Age Differences
If I could find someone my own age, I'd go for it. Believe me. It's been 10 years of looking for men and meeting moron after moron, that I am now entertaining the idea of marrying someone older, and I'm not remotely comfortable about it, and neither is my family. But I think that's why I'm posing this question. Why do we do this as a society? I would find plenty of guys in their young 30's, but I'm too old for them, they go for younger girls 21-24, so I'm over the top. Which puts me in an uncomfortable position of looking to older men for options.
Re: Age Differences
10 years ago, people were having this same discussion.
10 year from now, people will still be having this very same discussion.
Re: Age Differences
that rant makes no sense. you are just pissed off at personal problems and want to generalize it into what sounds like a feminist cause..
Re: Age Differences
Just like how 10 years from now we're going to be wondering why we elected Zardari again for Prime Minister. Doesn't make it right, just because a problem continues without solution.
Re: Age Differences
30 plus years ago they were making chai and sammiches and caamplaining to bast frand on rotary telefoon
Re: Age Differences
It is not about whether it is right now wrong. It is about making it right. If you helpless move on to another topic of discussion and try to make that one right.
Just like how 10 years from now we're going to be wondering why we elected Zardari again for Prime Minister. Doesn't make it right, just because a problem continues without solution.
Re: Age Differences
zardari is pm again… in pcgland 
was he ever pm?
Re: Age Differences
Re: Age Differences
If someone is a TIME subscriber, here is an interesting read: The Childless Life
http://www.time.com/time/subscriber/article/0,33009,2148636,00.html
Re: Age Differences
^ bad idea, and that's coming from me as a feminist
Re: Age Differences
I referred the article because it gives an account of numerous women opinions. Similar to ones in this thread.
^ bad idea, and that's coming from me as a feminist
Re: Age Differences
only issue is, women think somehow they are entitled to get good rishtay despite being old.......but thats not what the market view is...... guys would also want to get get rishtay when they don't make enough money...but the market view is that they are useless for rishta.......so what they do? they wait and make money...they don't moan about it....
Re: Age Differences
Yes, they should stick to people their own age. Maybe it will persuade men to get married younger than waiting once they're older. There is a severe imbalance here. An older guy will expect that in exchange for money, his waning sexual attraction should be tolerated. He may not be as virile, and no one cares about that. He may have some wrinkles, receding hairline, baldspot even, and THAT gets tolerated in exchange for money.
I know 35 year old girls who are making a crap load of money in their careers, but they're single. Does anyone ask for them? No, because the income a woman earns, the success of her career, her intelligence, her lifetime accomplishments, her maturity and samajdari all do not matter. What matters is her youthful skin, and perky boobs.
It's not about a moral obligation, only, it's about evening out the scales here.
You assume that these men don't want to get married earlier. Many do, but women their age have rishtas from older guys, and as people have **already **pointed out, many younger guys have obligations, family or career related, that don't allow for them to settle down at this age.
You resort to hyperbole yet again. Yes, a man in his 30's does not possess the vigor that he did in his 20's, but these guys are still attractive if women are willingly marrying them.
Lastly, you assume that men desire the same things as women. Men don't really care about a woman's career success, which is painful to hear but it's a fact. They care about what that success shows about the woman, but, if in addition to her career, the woman isn't also caring, warm hearted, and any number of other personality traits that appeal to men, then they will reject her. And of course youthful skin and perky boobs matter, just like strong shoulders and a nice chest matters to you, but it's not always the only thing.
And the scales were even, when career women were younger. If you want to blame anyone, blame feminists who tell women that marriage and family can wait. They can to a certain degree, but if women play chicken with men in terms of marriage, they will lose every time. It's kind of like economics, the free market and all that.
All that said, **you're right. **Rejecting someone just because they're not 21 is asinine. I will say though, that not every 40 year old guy can marry someone younger. These guys have to be pretty desirable to begin with. Therefore, if women their age want to attract them, they better be equally desirable. Yes that means getting to the gym. Yes, that means working on your personality flaws (everyone has them). Your career is nice, but a man isn't getting uncomfortable in the pants because of your position on the corporate ladder. That's a fact of life.
I just want to repeat this fact because I think older women don't get it: your career is not going to increase your rishta prospects. Even if it was just the dating world, your career is nice, but it's not exactly going to put you over the top. Just like a hot, dead beat guy isn't going to find a lot of success with women who want to settle down.
Re: Age Differences
The difference is that aging is not in your control, so being discriminated for having 10 extra years on you being a 32 year old vs. 22 year old is not something that you can help or change. However, getting your crap together and having a job and proper education by mid 20's isn't HARD. In fact, I'd say if anyone has their mind and works hard, you can be successful early on, and mA, our community doesn't lack the resources for it either. But that's the problem. Desi guys get coddled. They don't start getting their act together until late 20's.
I have met guys who were in their mid-20's and STILL working on a bachelors degree. Seriously? Guys who GREW UP HERE.
It's not hard. Go to public school. Do your homework, pay attention in class, and figure out some way to earn a living by studying hard. People do it all the time. Our men? Despite having every frikkin educational opportunity at their hand, instead graduate high school jaise ke jaise, and then start working at a gas station or subway afterwards, and then if they feel like it , they high tail it to a community college.
If their parents just put more strain on them instead of coddling them every time they poop as kids, then they'd be in 4 year colleges, done with college by 22, done with grad school by 25/26, and earning a proper living. Plus in the process, maybe they'd get refined and wouldn't look like Kanye West wannabes.
So by mid-20's a guy should be ready to start a family. Our men don't get their **** together until 40. WHY is that??
So, instead of being penalized, these duffbags end up getting a hot babe at 40. Whereas the 40 year old woman who was chaste, properly educated, dedicated to her career, super intelligent, samajdaar - SINGLE AT FORTY.
So if you're gonna have a market where men get judged on their careers, then judge women on their accomlishments likewise instead of the size of her pelvis, and how upright her boobs are.
Re: Age Differences
lol........ finding a good guy while you work your way in your twenties isn't hard either.....so instead of being super nitpicky and not paying attention to the harsh reality........ work on yourself and finding a rishta......everyone can find a rishta if they are good enough.........
Re: Age Differences
You guys act like desi society has put so much burden on the modern desi man such that bechara doesn't get around to marrying until 40. That's not the case.
For one, masjids are enforcing now that guys should get married early, and not to delay marriage. So now the young teeny boppers are tying knots earlier. Even while they're still in school.
Secondly, like I described, you should be done with your college by roughly 22, and be done with a masters/higher level of education by mid 20's. Some careers are exceptions, like the medical field where people train endlessly, but those guys get married in med school mostly these days - again, mid-20's so they're married by residency. Men in other grad programs are also done by mid-20's. I guess maybe phd's have it for a long haul, so maybe you're done with your thesis late 20's and you're getting your first academic position early 30's.
Again, WHY are guys waiting till 40 to get married? They don't need to. Get married young, and have your families in your 20's and 30's, and stop subjecting young 20 year olds whose parents are desperate for a rishta to your balding spots and pot belly tummies, thank you much.
Re: Age Differences
it is.....there is a lot of burden for desi men too.......they just don't moan as much your kind does...