Re: Age Differences
Yeah but you’re talking about uncles who are from another generation and when it was common to have huge age differences. I don’t think this is true of our generation. Also desi men are notorious for letting themselves go and not taking care of themselves after marriage so the age difference might appear exaggerated because of that. My own dad is only 3 years older than my mom but looks about 12 years older in appearance!
Re: Age Differences
You didn’t get the point of my posts, which is this: women have long preferred older men, and men have long preferred younger women, and this will likely continue.
You yourself mention that most of your friends married older men, only 2-3 years older, but still older. I’m not suggesting that a 15 year old age difference is the norm, or that it’s easy, where are you getting that idea? On the other hand, you don’t think a 27 year old woman would seriously consider a proposal from, say an established, attractive 35 year old man? Of course she would. The reverse is likely not going to happen. And that’s because of human nature. That was my point.
I agree that people marrying around their age (+/- 5 years) is becoming the norm. However, what I’m saying is that whenever there’s a big age difference, it’s usually the guy being older, and probably fairly desirable. Why else would a younger woman consider the proposal?
Re: Age Differences
Unfortunatly the reality that exists, in particular in desi cultures is the thought of overpowering women after marriage hence chosing an age gap. However, the advantage with say a 24 years old wife and 35 years husband would be an equal maturity level 
Re: Age Differences
What does a 40 year old man need to do really? Just prove he makes enough money to afford your Bunto Kazmi joras, and he’s in consideration. Maybe if he’s got a big fat wart on his face, that may deter some gold diggers, but there WILL be a woman who is willing to put that aside in exchange for security and ability to have kids.
And as long as there are families that are OK with the 10 year difference, these marriages will happen.
I shouldn’t even be talking, the guy I’m talking to is 7 years older. Why? Because he is a good person. If I could find someone just as good who is younger, I’d go for it, but it’s not in my naseeb I guess, so I am willing to settle.
A guy on the other hand, if faced with a nice girl who is his own age, may not be willing to settle. He may want to keep looking, because he knows that as long as he makes money and doesn’t smell like feet, he’ll find a younger girl.
It’s that simple. And it’s unfortunate. If guys were more willing to marry women their own age, then we wouldn’t have 35 yr olds feeling doomed to lifelong isolation.
Re: Age Differences
Well that’s a reflection that our men don’t become real men until they hit their 30’s, which is our fault as a society since we coddle 21 and 22 year olds as if they’re still little kids.
Re: Age Differences
It’s still happening in that community. Routinely girls are getting married at 19 to guys who are 30.
Re: Age Differences
I thought we were talking about extreme age differences in the thread and not your regular give or take 2-3 years so my posts were directed towards that. As for women preferring a guy older than them, I would agree because I myself was not willing to settle for a guy younger than me.
I agree with the rest of your post as well!
Re: Age Differences
And what about the ghettos of desis in America? Like say the populations in Chicago, and New York and Houston? Have you seen some of these people? I was on Devon street in Chicago once, and I’ve never seen such conservatism in my life. I wonder what those families do with their girls, and how young they’re getting married off.
Re: Age Differences
ummm oooook … so me being married to my husband, who is 8 years older than me, is a big big issue … got it. Thanks.
nvm the fact that we’re totally compatible, that he’s my best friend and that we love each other.
@OP .. tbh, I feel like age is just a number.
Re: Age Differences
Thread is definitely about huge age differences, not +/- 2-3 years.
Re: Age Differences
Let’s put it this way. Would you guys be married if you were HIS age? I mean the compatibility and love and all would be the same. Do you think if you were 8 years older, he or his family would have inquired about you?
Re: Age Differences
but im sure you’ve seen 40 year old men marrying 30 year old women. not saying it’s ok or wrong…just pointing out different cultural norms. broaden your horizens.
Re: Age Differences
I always thought 6 years max but then I met my husband and it doesn’t matter as long as you find the right person not my fault he was born before me.
ultimately if the couple is happy its no one else’s business.
Re: Age Differences
Based on people I know, I’d say even 4-8 years difference is normal. I know of couples with as much as 15 years difference.
Re: Age Differences
Again the question becomes, if you were his age to begin with, would he ever have come and asked for your hand?
Re: Age Differences
And then the follow up question becomes, that if a man 10 years older than your daughter comes asking for her, would you shoo them away?
Re: Age Differences
And then if this is a norm in our society, how do we define pedophilia? A 10 year older husband was at one point 22, when the girl was 12. :-/
Re: Age Differences
Pedophilia is still defined as: an adult being sexually attracted to young kids.
Like seriously?
Re: Age Differences
Well then how do you define a 60 year old going after a 20 year old? At what point does it become sick?
Re: Age Differences
It might be sick, but you can’t classify it as pedophilia.