Re: After Engagement...
when inshallah ill be engaged..I would just like to be in touch through email and email only!.. and beside..before marriage ...one cant predict how the other will be like becuz everyone tries to be the most humble person ever before marriage...
lolz, inshallah it will only be email and email only!
Re: After Engagement...
Novelty always wears off. You don't marry someone because you like the novelty of the relationship.
Re: After Engagement…
That is not stupid, this is something both should talk before marriage if they have concerns then getting divorce on this children issue after marriage.
I have never seen ppl asking how many botis they ate but all the other stuff is not stupid, that is something they both have to live with in future and if it is considered stupid after engagement then it will be considered stupid even after marriage.
Re: After Engagement…
What are you talking about Lusi? 
…
The should talk about it and then, get married, and then, get divorce on this issue??? Whatttttttttttt faints 
You so evil 
Re: After Engagement...
Yup unfortunately I was born evil, can't help....
Re: After Engagement...
We know each other pretty well, so yeah we're doing the lunches and dinners and then some.
Re: After Engagement...
i had a question..agar engagement hi kerni hai ..and relationship chalana hai tu phir insaan g.f/ b.f ka relation kyn na rakh ley do saal ..woh bhi ghar waalon ko bata k , k we like this guy and i am tryign to knw him ...and shaadi kerley after 2 yrs?
mera question yeh hai k ..engagement and g.f b.f ka relation agar bata k ho tu bhi tu same hi howa..???( ek tarah ki commitment and isn't it haram too?)
Re: After Engagement...
^^ faraq hai...how your parents percieve the word "b/f and g/f" as opposed to "fiance."
Re: After Engagement...
well in that case we can just introduce our b.f as a fiance
Re: After Engagement...
i have a little different opinion,
I think if you have decided to marry a girl then dont make any attachemnt with her before marriage because after all we are human beings and we all have very weak points in ourselfs
if you become very frank with each before marriage then it is the possiblity that one of you get fed up with the other.
if you are marrying your love then the situation is different, then it is necessary to have very frequent interaction with each other.
Re: After Engagement...
That is not stupid, this is something both should talk before marriage if they have concerns then getting divorce on this children issue after marriage. I have never seen ppl asking how many botis they ate but all the other stuff is not stupid, that is something they both have to live with in future and if it is considered stupid after engagement then it will be considered stupid even after marriage.
When i wrote "i am scared of havin kids (rather suggesting something else)".....in my post i meant girls discussing about their future sex life with their partners which i think its weird and disgusting. Now if she is someone who doesnt want kids than ofcourse that should be discussed like i mentined in my eariler post that anything and everything that mite affect their future 2gether should be discussed.
Re: After Engagement…
that explains a lot!
so true…scary but true 
another good point…it really does wear off.
Re: After Engagement...
^ I said that in response to the posters who are somehow of the opinion that keeping novelty alive is what’s ultimately going to keep the relationship going. I wasn’t talking about engagements per se. In other words there’s a lot more to a successful marriage than this novelty.
You don’t have to know every little detail about a person before you get married.
Re: After Engagement...
Hmmm.. long way yet but if I was at that stage, then I would most definitely want to get to know the guy I was marrying. By 'getting to know him' I mean, occasional meetings, phone calls, family gatherings and so on. I don't see the harm in getting to know a person really well while your engaged to them and for me, the most important part would be, becoming good friends. I'd want the guy I was marrying to be someone who I could talk to about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING (same with him), someone who does care about when I eat/sleep/wake up (I would care) and someone who cares enough to talk to me about US. Simple. Oh and personally, I'd want the engagement period to last for about 9-12 months - plenty of time to become best friends as well as prepare for the wedding.
Re: After Engagement...
yes it better to communicate and know whats coming...than to jump into it and then :(. some ppl are bluff masters though, shaadi say pehlay kuch aur baad main aur......
really depends on your judgement of ppl.
Re: After Engagement...
^^True, that's why it is better to get to know a person in the company of others. I'd personally want my family/friends to also approve of the guy I was marrying, at times they can see better then us or vice versa BUT with people I'd trust (fam/friends) I'd go with their judgements. Anyhow if things are meant to be, they will no matter what - thats what I believe.
Re: After Engagement...
A lot of people here are talking about "novelty" , trust me it should not be the reason to get married to someone . Most engagements break after the couple gets to know each other bcoz they just dont like the person they are engaged to . By keeping the "novelty" you are just goin to escape reality. In my opinion you should know the person well enough even before you get engaged , engagement is sacred and the commitment level should be as though you are married i.e not a situation where you find ways out of it .
Re: After Engagement...
^ very good example :)...i feel the same that if one has too much interaction with their fiancee than the whole excitement is over even before marriage. plus its not like talking to them on phone/net is gonna tell u much abt them...u wl only know the real them after living 2gether i.e marriage so why both :p hehehe in this case i feel lets just try your luck :D.
i really get annoyed when i see couples who r literally acting husband/wife even b4 getting married. They are talking 24/7 on phone/net and making sure they know each n every step of their partner which i think is very suffocating. And most importantly it will leave no excitement in your marriage where you find out abt each other every day :).
IDK, this is scary to me. Sounds like as a spouse, one with this outlook is going to be done with the marriage once that initial spark is over with. I see nothing wrong with wanting to KNOW the person you will be literally spending the rest of your life with. If you're a gambler, you may want to take that chance and heck, maybe you'll get lucky. But this is a decision thats going to be the biggest decision of your life. Hands down, the BIGGEST. I'm not against arranged marriage, I think they're kind of nice. But you CAN have an arranged marriage where you interact with your potential spouse enough to know whether their life desires are compatible with yours. You have to at least LIKE them and respect them enough to WANT to spend the rest of your life with them, right? The whole honeymoon period is lovely and lovely to think about, but that is SUCH a small part of marriage and SUCH a small part of your life. Its ONE YEAR only. Thats a small fraction of your life.
Re: After Engagement...
^ OK now that is some really over the top assumption. I suppose you being “mamaof3” must be quite mature and knowing the divorce rate all over. So than how exactly does the “getting to know “ bit helps in marriage?.
I think I very well understand that everything changes with time and the first 2-3 years of marriage might be full of “sparks” but for some the remaining years mean no sparks or growth of those sparks into something that is much more deep and life long= love. So its just the way one sees it.
Also, It depends on the kind of relationship and trust you have with your parents and family. I know my parents know me inside, out and what I would be looking for in my life partner so they can very well decide for me if it’s a good match or not. Or like I said there could be some communication between the two but I am personally against the idea of being husband and wife before the marriage itself. And who talked about honeymoon? What exactly does it have to do with this discussion?!?.
Re: After Engagement...
^ OK now that is some really over the top assumption. I suppose you being “mamaof3” must be quite mature and knowing the divorce rate all over. .
I think mamaof3's assumptions are pretty accurate, she gives good advice too!