Ok so after your engagement with your spouse did you guys interacted alot with each other over phone, chat or like going out to lunchs/dinners?. Did you use to go to your fiance/their family parties along with yr family?.
And to those who are not engaged yet, how would you like your post engagement period to be like? lol, like would you like to be able to interact with them on dialy basis, occasionaly or meet up with them, etc etc.
Pls be honest here 
Re: After Engagement...
My family isnt too big on engagements. So most likely IF and only IF i end up having an engagement it will only be short term....just enough time to prepare for the wedding.
Re: After Engagement...
I think engagements should be atleast 1-2 years, couple should interact alot and get to know each other. If at any point they think they have differences that might affect their relationship in future, they should reconsider if they want to continue like that or if there is a way to resolve them and find a common ground that will be acceptable to both.
I don't believe in jhat mangni phat wiya philosophy...
Re: After Engagement...
Engagements can be risky khas-tor par aaj kal kay dinoN main, because jitni duration lamba ho ga utni banda aik doosray ki KARTOOTZ discover karay ga such as facebook kay karnaamay etc etc.
Ziyada tar egagements jo ziyada lambee ho jayaiN wo aksaR toot jaati haiN, so Angel Eyes is totally right here, jaldi karo tay kam mukayo, warna dair ho jaye to phir nirri andhaiR.
Shukriya.
Re: After Engagement...
Engagements can be risky khas-tor par aaj kal kay dinoN main, because jitni duration lamba ho ga utni banda aik doosray ki KARTOOTZ discover karay ga such as facebook kay karnaamay etc etc.
facebook? what? how? lol elaborate pls :D.
Re: After Engagement...
I think engagements should be atleast 1-2 years, couple should interact alot and get to know each other. If at any point they think they have differences that might affect their relationship in future, they should reconsider if they want to continue like that or if there is a way to resolve them and find a common ground that will be acceptable to both.
I don't belive in jhat mangni phat wiya philosophy...
tho i luv........ (bold part)
Re: After Engagement...
i think no matter how long ur engagement is u can't get to know a person until you actually live with that person, which is obviously only possible as you get married...
Tou mangni ho ya na ho eik hi baat hai :) its just that ur engaged for other people as wo apka rishta nahi maang saktay,u know what i mean.
Re: After Engagement...
Hmmm....i got engaged in May and got married in Sept. We used to communicate via emails before the engagement since the first time i saw him. I strrictly kept it emails only! 1 month after engagement, we started talking on the phone. I wanted to communicte thru emails to see what he REALLY is like. Emails & phone contact increased alot after the engagement and even managed to arrange some meetings! :p
In my opinion, even though a person stays engaged for a long time...i dont think you can really find out too much about them and their family esp if they are outsiders. Its only if you get married in the family, i guess you have the advantage of what you are letting yourself in for..
Re: After Engagement...
I agree with AE and Samad - there does some to be a pattern within muslim families where people who get engaged don't necessarily end up marrying one another - yet the people who get to know one another informally or formally for a period of 1-2yrs without an 'engagement' as such tend to go through with marriage ok..
But at the same time, i think it is nice if engagements are the way they should be or used to be at one time, where both guy and girls have that 'parda' - there is more of an excitement there, because your getting to know one another but not openly talking about it every second...
Take for example, my best friend (he will kill me if he reads this!) he got engaged to a girl of his choice, and as soon as the 'engagement party' was over and done with and they were officially 'engaged' - he would call his fiancee every single day, in fact anything between 4-10 times a day as he would call in-between activities, ie. morning ride on the train, lunch hour, break time, when arriving home, then at bedtime, etc... and it wasnt only him, she herself would call him too - they would chat endless 'random topic' conversations all night long... and this made them becoem very attached and close to one another before the marriage... and then it was the msn/emails on hi.5, facebook, yahoo, hotmail, etc, etc,,, and also the text messages - so in the end, they became soo close to one another as they knew what time the other woke up,slept, ate, what activities they did, what they liked, what they hate, etc. ... and guess what??? a year down the line, after all that excitement and getting to know one another, they just called it off saying that they werent right for each other - it was a mutual decision... and when i asked my friend why??? he said, because we got to know one another soo much in an open manner that i felt that she is already my wife, as she would question him and advise him on certain things, and then he added there was no excitement left in realtionship and nothing to look forward to - yet he promises that they didnt get 'physical' - but then again, i dont beleive that either as they met several times during the engagement (secretly) yet she lived a distance away, and also he mentioned a few 'intimate' coversations they shared which kind of gave it away how open they had become wid each other... so really its a shame that in the end it didnt work out, yet it was a mutual decision but there wasnt an exact definite reason given why they didnt go ahead...
This is why people like me end up getting put off marriages altogether - as well as engagements, as they are not the way they use to be in my parents time... our new generation obviously is more open-minded which has an effect on such decisions - whereas i too am open-minded, but i have very strong cultural beleifs and love my traditions..
Re: After Engagement...
^ very good example :)...i feel the same that if one has too much interaction with their fiancee than the whole excitement is over even before marriage. plus its not like talking to them on phone/net is gonna tell u much abt them...u wl only know the real them after living 2gether i.e marriage so why both :p hehehe in this case i feel lets just try your luck :D.
i really get annoyed when i see couples who r literally acting husband/wife even b4 getting married. They are talking 24/7 on phone/net and making sure they know each n every step of their partner which i think is very suffocating. And most importantly it will leave no excitement in your marriage where you find out abt each other every day :).
Re: After Engagement...
^ LOL! If you cant stand your fiancee acting like your husband/wife before you get married what makes you think you'll like it once you are married. Getting married is just signing a piece of paper, it doesn't change who you are as a person and how you will treat your partner. You are getting engaged to a person because you are accepting them to be your partner for the rest of your lives. I could understand if you were talking about the physical aspect of it. But I dont think there's anything wrong with consulting your fiancee on important matters in your life.
Re: After Engagement...
^
i agree itis good to discuss the important matters with your fiance/fiancee - ie. purchase of property, moving town, or employment or wedding related issues... but chatting about crap like every little gory detail of ur day - ie wat u ate, wat u did, where u went, who u seen... etc - is just damn crazy! and it is sooo annoying when you see these people talking out aloud on their mobiles to their fiance/fiancee about what they are currently doing and wat their plans are for the next 5, 10, 15mins.. lol... Grrrr!
Re: After Engagement…
^ haha…well maybe they are interested in knowing what their fiancee is doing etc. It might not be as annoying to them as it is to you. 
Re: After Engagement...
I know, they are interested in knowing all these gory details but it starts to fade away as time goes on as you begin to kno ur partner inside out and the normal routine, etc, so there cums a time when u already kno d answer to your question, which can becum very boring.... but then again if there happy with their 'sad' ways thats up to them..
Re: After Engagement…
well its quite simple…when he is my fiance than he should act that not my husband. Otherwise why there would be these two distinctions; fiance and husband? Also, when i say that i dont mean i shouldnt be consulting him before making any decision that may affect our future life 2gether as in continuing education, starting up with a career, etc. Ofcourse these things should be discussed between the two or if i am not in contact with him than between the two families.
What i am against is when the couple is asking each other every damn day that “oh so what did you eat today? how many botis you had :halo:” or " i am going to x, y, z’s party should i wear red or black?" or " i wanna go to switzerland for honeymoon n u better make me stay at a 5-star hotel or i wl run away lol" or “i am scared of havin kids (rather suggesting something else)”…stuff like that…it starts from stupid questions to quite odd ones. Or so i feel but if you guys have other pov than thats ok too :). I just wanted to know how many felt the way i do or if any1 at this time and age feel the way i do lol…i am pretty much aware that majority perhaps thinks otherwise.
Re: After Engagement…
exactly…which is why some families are against it.
When a couple is married they are more willing to work through their problems…when they are engaged they’ll break it off for the most pettiest reason.
Getting to know the basic and most important information should be discussed BEFORE saying “yes” to someone in the first place. After that…what more do you need to know? Everything else you will find out after marriage…if you know what I mean.
p.s SAMAD…what’s up with this facbook thing 
Re: After Engagement...
engagement and marriage are two completely different things, alot of people get confused and try to create an intimacy that doesn't exist..hence it leads to crappage and whatnot. hence you should, in my opinion chat but not all the time and use the time you talk to find out about each other. So that you know the person you marry is one you can trust for life ~(or as long as possible) and then that way if someone ever trys to create negative feelings between you it'll be too hard to do. also, i don't think you should meet to often.
Re: After Engagement…
some more gems here: http://www.paklinks.com/gs/showthread.php?t=285044
Re: After Engagement...
when inshallah ill be engaged..I would just like to be in touch through email and email only!.. and beside..before marriage ...one cant predict how the other will be like becuz everyone tries to be the most humble person ever before marriage...