Re: Afraid to be a good husband…
eghjactly bro:clap:
Re: Afraid to be a good husband...
I believe in defined roles: husband financial provider, wife queen of the house. If in case of dispute...listen to all sides and the husband gets the final word.
Y should the hubby get the final word?
Re: Afraid to be a good husband...
^ because he's the leader of the family. The head of the family; he's responsible for all the members of the family.
And its the feminists of today that have a problem with this ideology.
Re: Afraid to be a good husband...
^ dude both the hubby and wifey are responsible for the family. Anil quit being a backward person.
If the hubby is the head of the house then the wife could tilt or even move the head in any direction she wants.
and how would u define a feminist?
Re: Afraid to be a good husband...
Feminist: a girl who always argues that women have equal rights as men (which they do) but doesn't accept the fact that Allah made the two genders phsyically different. Thus, we can do certain things that women can't. Its a fact. Oh, and men can't do certain things that women can do. We are all equal but we have defined roles.
Re: Afraid to be a good husband...
so wht does the physical difference has to do with ur theory?
Re: Afraid to be a good husband...
^ basically because they are physically different they are more suited to certain types of work. However, feminists don't realize this and they wanna do everything that men do cause "we're equal".
We're equal, yes. But we're also different; not better or worse but just different. We have different roles to play.
Re: Afraid to be a good husband...
I believe in defined roles: husband financial provider, wife queen of the house. If in case of dispute...listen to all sides and the husband gets the final word.
How can your wife be queen of the house if you are living with your parents and elder brother and bhabi? Household servant is probably a bit closer to what she should expect.
Re: Afraid to be a good husband...
hahaha won't it be a sweet repemption if Anil marries what he thinks is a demure little girl and once she has his trust after marriage she very wickedly takes over the reigns of the household and rules the roost ( directly or inderictly).
Believe me you women can have u running rounds for them without you even realising it!
Re: Afraid to be a good husband...
LOL @ chloe.
Like Sadaf said above, this makes me appreciate my husband more and thank God more.
It's amazing how many couples miss the blessing that is marriage because of this "she has to fear me" concept.
Re: Afraid to be a good husband...
^ good so you're married. Now I can apologize for the "see you in hell" comment. Sorry.
Re: Afraid to be a good husband...
the best piece of advice i got when i got married was "dont do anything in the first couple of yrs of marriage that you dont want to spend the rest of ur life doing"
anyways, back to the topic,
it depends on what your env is/was like growing up, if u were brought up in an env where any kind of softness/affection/friendlyness was immediately considered as being weak then u will always think like that, that may not be the case for ur wife.
Re: Afraid to be a good husband...
Yes, I'm young but I know a thing or two about life and its realities.
Its important for everyone to understand that I DO NOT condone treating your wife like sh*t. She is leaving her family behind to come join yours and is basically starting the most important part of her life with you; I GET THAT.
In no way am I saying that I will treat my wife like a slave or as an object who's just there to cook and accompany me in bed. However, I'm not sure if I can be best friends with her because I'm afraid she'll lose that fear *(again, for lack of a better word) of "What if he doesn't like this". I just want my wife to know that there is someone looking after her and that she's responsible, and not neccessarily answerable, to me. (The whole idea is hard to explain on a discussion forum)
*
the thing abt her thinking "what if he doesnt like this" will come naturally to her when she gets to know you and how u think, it will happen that way for both of you when you get to know each other properly and to get to know each other you have to let ur guard down and let each other in. Life will become a pain if u dont let ur guard down.
Re: Afraid to be a good husband...
Apology accepted :)
Re: Afraid to be a good husband…
Exactly. And though you say this, you continue to make declarations about how your wife should be or how marriage should be, without knowing the person or experiencing marriage. Go in with some fixed and inflexible plan, you’ll screw yourself and your partner. Get out of your dreamworld.
Re: Afraid to be a good husband...
Sahar02: Totally agree with u. Ppl dont have a clue what its like to be married until they actually are. Im married myself (have been for abt 3 years) and im a housewife and a mother as well. I read some of the stuff on this forum and i, like Sadaf, really count my blessings that i didnt end up with a typical husband type. From what i can see they just want some1 to control and manipulate cos they have some kind of twisted insecurities within themselves. It's all abt control to make themselves feel better. And no im not a feminist-im a full time mum and housewife!
Re: Afraid to be a good husband...
it's not that women do not accept and believe alot in feminism . it's just the connection or the link b/w the two people that is weak .
the relationship b/w a man and a women always needs understanding and alot of it .
women may be weaker then men in many cases and men have to take care of them ..... this does not mean .. women are wrong everytime :)
Re: Afraid to be a good husband...
The man is the head of household, doesnt mean he should just go do whatever he wishes, he should discuss with his wife, get opinions from other relatives, but after that its ultimately his decision.
Re: Afraid to be a good husband...
Amani06: You have my respect; your kids are very lucky to have a loving and caring mother; your husband too is very lucky. Its rare that in the west ladies will sacrifice their "ambitions" to look after their family.
Re: Afraid to be a good husband…
Well, as a Muslim our example is the Holy Prophet :saw:…Who adored his wives, respected them and never talked harshly to them…There was no ‘zor’…You get respect after you make yourself worthy of respect…
The Holy Prophet :saw: stated, that if you wish to look at the Deen (faith) of a Muslim, look at how he treats his wife…
So, if you apply ‘zor’ to you wife or try to pressure her into respecting you, is that how you treat your faith? With ‘zor’ and zabardasti?
The Holy Prophet :saw: stated, that Allah :swt: is gentle and loves gentleness in all things…No doubt, wives are deserving of gentleness unless they happen to be miserable hags who whine, moan, ***** and are disrespectful to the relationship of man and wife…Then you hit them, but never on the face…Stop sleeping with them…
But, if the wife is respectful and wise, then she deserves great love and gentleness…
I pray all faithful Muslims receive the great bounty of a pious and righteous wife and all faithful Muslim women receive the same in men…Ameen…