Afraid to be a good husband...

[Muzna]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband...

Anil,

You need to focus on what Fayz is saying. You are reading it but don't appear to be "understanding" it.

Why must the wife "listen"....I'm sure you mean "obey" here.

If you have a good relationship with mutual respect, there leaves no room for "obeying". Both the husband and the wife turn to doing things because they "want" to.....not "have" to.

[aahmed]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband…

@Anil Khan

By defination, a good husband is NOT someone who provides food, clothing, shelter for his family; Those are his responsibilities that he MUST fulfill and doing so does not guarantee him the title of “Good Husband”. A good husband is someone who talks with his wife, spends quality time with her, listens to her problems (and doesn’t try to solve them but just listens), someone who is basically her friend.
However, I’m of the opinion that if one does those things, his respect or zor (in urdu) within the family will decrease. I feel the man of the house should have the final word and if a husband does all those things I mentioned above, the wife will not take him seriously. She’ll basically think she can get anything out of him or make him do anything she wants him to do.

So basically I’m a little pessemistic about the whole husband-wife being best friends concept.

Your thoughts?

Anil, i’ve said this before, you are VERY young. You obviously don’t know the dynamics within a relationship. You admittedly haven’t been in a single relationship with a woman. I don’t know what your source of experience is for when you claim that if a husband treats his wife equitably that she will walk all over him. As far as showing your wife and kids who’s boss, that just shows your immaturity. You have to EARN respect, you don’t just get it simply because you have a penis.

[Anil_Khan]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband...

@aahmed

Anil, i've said this before, you are VERY young. You obviously don't know the dynamics within a relationship. You admittedly haven't been in a single relationship with a woman. I don't know what your source of experience is for when you claim that if a husband treats his wife equitably that she will walk all over him. As far as showing your wife and kids who's boss, that just shows your immaturity. You have to EARN respect, you don't just get it simply because you have a penis.

If by relationship you mean participating in haraam actions then no, I have been fortunate enough not to indulge (by the grace of Allah).

Yes, I'm young but I know a thing or two about life and its realities.

Its important for everyone to understand that I DO NOT condone treating your wife like sh*t. She is leaving her family behind to come join yours and is basically starting the most important part of her life with you; I GET THAT.
In no way am I saying that I will treat my wife like a slave or as an object who's just there to cook and accompany me in bed. However, I'm not sure if I can be best friends with her because I'm afraid she'll lose that fear (again, for lack of a better word) of "What if he doesn't like this". I just want my wife to know that there is someone looking after her and that she's responsible, and not neccessarily answerable, to me. (The whole idea is hard to explain on a discussion forum)

[MYwish]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband…

Did I hear someone mention the word Zor here, Anil dear, the only zor that you would ever need in a relationship is in the bedroom and that’s it. For the rest of the relationship, you need brains.

Btw, Johnny bravo is still single.

[purplepassion]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband…

@MYwish

Did I heart someone mention the word Zor here, Anil dear, the only zor that you would ever need in a relationship is in the bedroom and that’s it. For the rest of the relationship, you need brains.

Btw, Johnny bravo is still single.

[shweetdreamz]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband…

they are waiting for u anil k

[hussain87]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband…

@MYwish

Did I hear someone mention the word Zor here, Anil dear, the only zor that you would ever need in a relationship is in the bedroom and that’s it. For the rest of the relationship, you need brains.

Btw, Johnny bravo is still single.

lol kuch sharam kiya karo people:dixsi:

[MYwish]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband...

^Lol. I object. People are trying to promote fahashi here. Stupid mod muslims. (shweety dat's for ya)

[Anil_Khan]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband…

@shweetdreamz

they are waiting for u anil k

Good one

[Anil_Khan]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband…

@MYwish

Did I hear someone mention the word Zor here, Anil dear, the only zor that you would ever need in a relationship is in the bedroom and that’s it. For the rest of the relationship, you need brains.

Btw, Johnny bravo is still single.

I’ll be honest: the Johnny bravo joke went over my head. If the implication is that I’m gay or something to that effect, I didn’t find it funny; if something else then please do elaborate.

[hussain87]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband…

@Anil Khan

Good one

hi bro:) …tum hi aisi wife nahi chatai…main bi issi boat main hoon:blush:…wife ko apnai sar par ziyada nahi charhana chaiye baad main bahoot gharhbarh hoti hai:D

[shweetdreamz]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband…

@MYwish

^Lol. I object. People are trying to promote fahashi here. Stupid mod muslims. (shweety dat’s for ya)

tis true though…in hunza girls get married off young and for some reason i thought anil likes it young.

[MYwish]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband...

^we will give him bath bombs as a wedding prersent. :)

[shweetdreamz]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband…

@MYwish

^we will give him bath bombs as a wedding prersent.

mywish stop confusing the poor fella! u still have to explain the johnny bravo joke to him…and now u come up with bath bombs!
anil khan i apologize if i flooded your sincere thread. good luck to you!

[fghd]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband...

marriage scares me now :(

but im still wiling to marry someone who is willing to suicide :D

[Anil_Khan]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband…

@shweetdreamz

mywish stop confusing the poor fella! u still have to explain the johnny bravo joke to him…and now u come up with bath bombs!
anil khan i apologize if i flooded your sincere thread. good luck to you!

Koi masla naheen; I’ve got no problems with you or mywish for that matter.

Jazak Allah.

back to the topic

[hussain87]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband...

@evilmastermind

marriage scares me now :(

but im still wiling to marry someone who is willing to suicide :D

sorry evil and meani larkiyoun sa koi shaadi nahi karta...app ko intezaar karna paray ga:D

[Anil_Khan]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband...

hussain bhai, good to have some support.

[musicmaniac]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband...

Just when i thought u got a little mature and u came up with this thread.

Lmao mywish and shweetz

Anil so ur basically worried about her controlling u in a relationship or being the head of the house.

Tsk tsk (thats all i got to say)

[Anil_Khan]

Re: Afraid to be a good husband...

I'm old fashioned; a throwback (sports terminology)

I believe in defined roles: husband financial provider, wife queen of the house. If in case of dispute...listen to all sides and the husband gets the final word.