Hey crown. Don't bother with OCPs just yet. Not till U have a talk with husband. Now if that talk is more comfortable happening later, you can always easily get condoms, or use a morning after pill the next day (or within 72 hours of unprotected sex) and ull be safe from pregnancy.
if u are in pakistan the morning after is sold as "ECP" over the counter and for minimal cost. Condoms are also over the counter.
the morning after pill isn't a pleasant experience. plus, prevention is better than cure, no?
have the discussion with your fiance. you will be marrying him and spending the rest of your lives together iA. thats a big enough step as it is- makes the sex talk pale in comparison, no? plus i'm sure he has his own ideas/expectations about your first night together - wouldn't you rather discuss those with him too and share your own?
Man, makes me wonder just how our mothers managed it… Most of them having had arranged marriages… And a sex talk in that era being non existent… Heck ANY talk being non existent… Not all of us were born within 9 months of marriage!
I don’t see the issue here tbh
I didn’t take any precaution… And just thought for myself that sex would be the last thing I would wanna do on the wedding night… And if by miracle it did happen… The guy better be prepared… (MOST are)… And if he had not been… Tata sex.
Simple… Thankfully mr was miles away thinking the same thing.
*the morning after pill isn't a pleasant experience. plus, prevention is better than cure, no?
*
have the discussion with your fiance. you will be marrying him and spending the rest of your lives together iA. thats a big enough step as it is- makes the sex talk pale in comparison, no? plus i'm sure he has his own ideas/expectations about your first night together - wouldn't you rather discuss those with him too and share your own?
The morning after isn't bad at all SGC. Perhaps you had a bad time with it, or know of people who did. I never did.
I don't feel it's right for her to have that discussion with the fiance. I think if it were possible she would have done so. Once he is her husband, she can easily do it (in a week or so post marriage) but there must be reasons she is not doing it now.
K guys thank you all for your advice which has been noted,,,,, i spoke to my doctor yesterday and she said to start taking the pill straight away. Like mentioned before by MissFreudianit is a typical arranged marriage and I seriously am not comfortable with talking to him about birth control. Basically, I’m from the uk and he’s from Pak. Once married I’ll be calling him over isa. The reason I was thinking of going on the pill is because I dnt want to risk getting pregnant straight after marriage. I know if it happens even if I use protection I cant beat myself over the fact I never used anything to stop it from happening. Don’t get me wrong isa I want to have children one day and the situation would have been totally different had he been from here. But because of these new law changes I cant afford the double my salary if you have children and cant bring up a baby on my own. I was thinking of taking the pill then on the wedding night before anything happens telling him that I’m on the pill and why, and hoping he will understand. Also my friend did say that most men don’t like using condoms on the first night. I will immediately stop taking the pill once I am back. I’m only going to be with him for about a week.
Hey crown. Don't bother with OCPs just yet. Not till U have a talk with husband. Now if that talk is more comfortable happening later, you can always easily get condoms, or use a morning after pill the next day (or within 72 hours of unprotected sex) and ull be safe from pregnancy.
if u are in pakistan the morning after is sold as "ECP" over the counter and for minimal cost. Condoms are also over the counter.
Hey thanks for the infomation. The doctor didn't mention this. I'm here in the UK so assume i can get it from the Pharmacy. It sounds better than taking the pill for a whole month or two.
the best option, if you cannot discuss things with him now, is to marry on your "safer" days, when your ovulation period is over and the risk of un protected sex resulting in pregnancy are minimum. you can discuss things out and plan BC anytime afterwards.
I don;t actualy know how that works.... i dnt mean to sound stupid but i've heard of this before but not sure how to calculate the days.
and just for some male perspective, i bet most guys run thru 3-4 condoms before they figure out how to put the damn thing on. and by then, mm things have subsided. and then there is the whole, does this condom make me look fat, why did you buy me blue ones etc.
The morning after isn't bad at all SGC. Perhaps you had a bad time with it, or know of people who did. I never did.
I don't feel it's right for her to have that discussion with the fiance. I think if it were possible she would have done so. Once he is her husband, she can easily do it (in a week or so post marriage) but there must be reasons she is not doing it now.
yeah, i got quite sick from it. maybe she didn't bring it up because she wasn't sure how? hopefully we've given her some different perspectives so she can decide what to do next.
K guys thank you all for your advice which has been noted,,,,, i spoke to my doctor yesterday and she said to start taking the pill straight away. Like mentioned before by MissFreudianit is a typical arranged marriage and I seriously am not comfortable with talking to him about birth control. Basically, I’m from the uk and he’s from Pak. Once married I’ll be calling him over isa. The reason I was thinking of going on the pill is because I dnt want to risk getting pregnant straight after marriage. I know if it happens even if I use protection I cant beat myself over the fact I never used anything to stop it from happening. Don’t get me wrong isa I want to have children one day and the situation would have been totally different had he been from here. But because of these new law changes I cant afford the double my salary if you have children and cant bring up a baby on my own. I was thinking of taking the pill then on the wedding night before anything happens telling him that I’m on the pill and why, and hoping he will understand. Also my friend did say that most men don’t like using condoms on the first night. I will immediately stop taking the pill once I am back. I’m only going to be with him for about a week.
don't stop immediately, it'll mess with your cycle. if you start taking it, commit to being on it. remember, the pill has to be in your system for at least one cycle for it to be effective.
maybe the morning after pill is the right solution for you after all since you're not sure if you want to stay on the pill...
You all have been great. Yes somegrooveychick I think i will go for the morning after pill. Do you know what the side effects are. I'm on my monthly cycle at the moment and the next will be during the week i'm with my husband so I don't think the pill will realy help.
the side effects are nausea and vomiting at times, dizzy spells, stomach upsets, and late periods because of the high dose of hormones. But i have used it safely and without any side effects (except late periods by a week)
I don;t actualy know how that works.... i dnt mean to sound stupid but i've heard of this before but not sure how to calculate the days.
You can search google for ovulation period. Roughly its the week after your cycle is over which is considered to be the danger zone if you want to avoid pregnancy. But as it is, nothing really is infallible. Seeing all your situation, I think you will be fine to be on pills since you have to avoid pregnancy for some time anyway. Good luck.
