Advice please

Lifestyle Parenting, Household Affairs and Cuisine corner
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Hey all,
I’m not sure if I am posting in the correct forum. I am in a bit of a dilemma. Basically I’m due to get married next month and have read in a thread in the marriage forum that the pill needs to be taken a month in advance. Now the situation is I haven’t spoken to my future partner and I’m not sure what his take will be on me going on the pill but at the same time I don’t want to be in a situation where he doesn’t have protection and haven’t started the course of the pill. I am stressing over this and don’t know what to do. Any advice?

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Re: Advice please

talk to your future husband.. thats not something you can decide on your own!

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Re: Advice please

Have an open discussion with your fiance. Anything related to your future sex life needs to be a MUTUAL decision since it effects both of you.

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Re: Advice please

hey guys thanx for your advice the only thing is I don't talk to him its an arranged marriage. I know it sounds stupid that I havent spoken to him but I feel that this is now going to cause me problems and to be honest even if I was speaking to him I dnt think i wud have been able to talk about protection before marriage.

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Re: Advice please

Hey crown I was worried about the same thing a few months ago...but my friends told me that its not safe to go on the pill so quickly, condoms should do fine until you have your first baby. Pills play with your cycles and have bad effects on your health.

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Re: Advice please

Ok....fair enough.

If YOU don't want to start on BCP without talking to him.....then why don't you buy some condoms and make sure they're in your bag. That way, on the wedding night or days after........even IF he doesn't have it.....you'll have it with you.

After the wedding....have an open discussion with him regarding when you two want to have kids and decide if you want long-term birth control. Then talk to your GYN to see if pills are right for you. :)

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Re: Advice please

hey jewani,

Y arnt they safe to go on them so quickly? What are the effects they have on your health?

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Re: Advice please

Hey Paheli00...

Im scared that someone might find them in my bag and ill die of embarressment.

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Re: Advice please

Weight gain, dizziness etc...a doctor will give you better advice. I think Paheli has given excellent advice, you should follow it.

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i cant even think of getting pregnant otherwise ill be in trouble because of the new law change about salary if you have children

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You should discuss it with your husband then as condoms are not hundred percent effective

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too much generalization by your friends....

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Re: Advice please

Crown:

You really need to talk with your GYN regarding whether or not the pills is right for you. Also, look at actualy medical sites online to read FACTS about them. MANY women take with without any issues. How you will react to it depends on your body.

LOL.....seriously woman....get over it! EVERYONE knows you'll be sexually active after marriage! Get a lock.....once you pack your bag....lock it. Keep the key in your clutch OR give it to someone you trust totally (mom, sister, or best friend). But at the end....you need to get over this whole shy thing. Married people have sex. It's not a secret. No need to be embarrased. :) Besides, you don't plan on packing in sexy ligerie in your bag? ;)

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Re: Advice please

Jiwani: Your friends are wrong to generalize like that about BCPs. I've been on them for almost 10 years. Never gained any weight or experience any other negative side effects. And I know plenty of women in real life who also never had any problems.

While there's nothing wrong with getting opinions from friends.....when it comes to medicines, please consult a qualified physician before making any final decisions. :)

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Re: Advice please

I told abt my friends cz they have been married for a couple of years and none of them used a BCP. They all used condoms for protection for one year or two.

I am getting married in two months. So what do you think is better? BCP or condoms?

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I think it is your decision and yes the pill needs to be started 1-2 months before to be effective.

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Re: Advice please

Jiwani: This isn't a case of which one is better. As I mentioned earlier, if you're open to BCP.....you need to talk to your GYN about it asap. You need to start it 1-2 months before to allow your body to get used to it.

Which birth control method people use is a very personal decision. If your friends have made the decision to use condoms, there's nothing wrong with it. But that doesn't mean that there's something "wrong" with people using BCP's.

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Re: Advice please

I dnt mind condoms but im scared they may split then ill be in trouble. I was thinking of using both LOL double protection. But now that you say they need a couple of months in order to be effective ive only realy got one option :hoonh:

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why can't you do both..?

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Re: Advice please

No I did not mean that there is anything "wrong" with people who use BCPs. All I said that I have been told that if you use BCP before even having your first child, it will be harder for you to conceive later on. Is there any truth in that?