Advice please

Lifestyle Parenting, Household Affairs and Cuisine corner
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Re: Advice please

LOL @ Crown. :hug: Yes, BCP’s need at least 1-2 months so regulate your system. You should’ve started this thread 2 months ago. :slight_smile: BTW, no method is 100% effective. There’s always a chance of pregnancy.

Jiwani: I’m not aware of any reliable medical study that’s proven that to be true in women who don’t have any other medical conditions that reduces that chances of pregnancy. Again, talk to your GYN b/c much of this also depends on your specific health.

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Re: Advice please

break the barrier and talk to your future husband about it. i find it more weird that you will be taking up the subject of birth control on your wedding night. you both must be mature and sensible persons and since pregnancy unplanned might involve a risk at your job, you need to be straight forwardly articulate about it.

Once you take your husband into confidence, any thing whether it be condoms or BCPs wont be a piece of embarrassment for you. Specially when you believe (as people say) there is still a risk in both, (condoms may split and pills may not be effective) your husband can help by adopting some natural way of avoiding pregnancy. I hope you know what I mean.

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Not all the people get along with pills so well. Again, its just what I have heard, but people do have problems with BCPs sometimes, like skin break outs, weight gain, hormonal imbalance and even problems in conception later on.

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^ I completely agree Mirage! Different people have different reactions to medications. And other medical issues can also have an effect on how the BCP effects women. This is why it's important to have a full medical (including GYN) check-up, and discuss everything with a qualified GYN before making any final decisions regarding BCP.

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Re: Advice please

to put them in bag is not a good idea, i think

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Re: Advice please

Talking about contraception can get awkward in an arranged marriage, in particular, where the couple hasn't had much communication. Therefore I don't agree that pregnancy should be a joint decision at the start of a marriage. If the girl believes that she is not ready to get pregnant straight away, then she should be able to take precautionary measures without the need to discuss it with her husband.

Crown, I'm surprised that you haven't discussed this with your GP. Your Doctor would be the best person to advise. They can tell you about all your options for birth contol since they know your health history and what would be safe. Please make an appointment with your GP as soon as possible rather than seek medical advice here.

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Re: Advice please

But if she has a talk about it with her husband, it will be equally alright. Because its the husband who matters and yes it will be awkward if anyone /husband finds a pack of condoms in the bag out of the blue.

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i very very strongly disagree.

First, a decision like planning/starting/not starting a family should be the decision of the both. One person deciding it, and HIDING it (or anything else, for that matter) from the other is not a very nice idea. A fair edifice wouldnt erect on such foundations, I am afraid. At any time later in life, it will be revealed to her husband that she had been on contraceptives or what and I dont think it will create a nice picture anyway. Why invite problems in future when she can and she should avoid it.

That is why I insist communication is important. I am sure once she confides in her to be husband and tell him there are problems he would understand and agree to cooperate I am sure.

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Re: Advice please

My response is based on OP's disclosure that she hasn't had any communication with her fiance since it is a typical arranged marriage. The idea therefore that they will discuss contraception any time before the wedding is just ridiculous. Surely any sane husband wouldn't expect his wife to get pregnant the first week of their marriage. One can assume that In a week or two after the wedding, the couple would be comfortable enough with each other to discuss everything, including family planning. The idea that something is being 'hidden' is just silly.

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Re: Advice please

Hey crown. Don't bother with OCPs just yet. Not till U have a talk with husband. Now if that talk is more comfortable happening later, you can always easily get condoms, or use a morning after pill the next day (or within 72 hours of unprotected sex) and ull be safe from pregnancy.

if u are in pakistan the morning after is sold as "ECP" over the counter and for minimal cost. Condoms are also over the counter.

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Oh yes, that will be so appropriate. 'Oh wait honey, put these on. I always carry them with me just in case'

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and how would she look like handing down the condom to her husband on the first night? giving a surprise?

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exactly. wont sound as bad if they have discussed it already.

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the best option, if you cannot discuss things with him now, is to marry on your "safer" days, when your ovulation period is over and the risk of un protected sex resulting in pregnancy are minimum. you can discuss things out and plan BC anytime afterwards.

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There are condoms for females also

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wrong thread

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:hinna: Am I the only one who didnt know that! :frowning: wow.

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is he in pakistan or coming from pakistan? i'd suggest having a talk with him (after all he IS going to be your husband) and ask him directly. it can't possibly be more uncomfortable or embarrassing than the awkward first night of hanky panky in an arranged marriage.

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what
you've never watched sex and the city because there was an episode about it!

actually they teach you in sex ed too..

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:rotfl: