My husband wouldn't invest in my dreams so there you go....all the dreams outta window.
No one believes in me and why should they? I have such a bad attitude. I hate myself.
You should not think like that!! I have to admit Ive thought like that about myself too. I got married at a young age when all my friends were off to college I had to run a home. I got pregnant early too, so I couldn't finish my studies. I feel so bad about myself when people ask me what Ive done. (as in studies)
But my husband is very supportive, he's pushing me to go back to school and get a degree.
I'm sure your husband will support you in what ever you wish to do. You need to believe in yourself first. If you believe in yourself everyone else will too. :)
I think the blog thing is a great idea, it'll help you sort out what you can and can't do, and it'll help you experiment, write lists and get a good feel for cooking.
I think the blog thing is a great idea, it'll help you sort out what you can and can't do, and it'll help you experiment, write lists and get a good feel for cooking.
Look at your current lifestyle and see what you're willing to give up or postpone in order to accommodate your choice.
I switched my career in such a way that I was able enjoy my new responsibilities without having to sacrifice too much. Yes we all have to juggle schedules. But if your household is not dependent on your income, I say pursue what makes you feel good, and has a potential to grow.
I dunno, I think people who are really passionate about cooking love cooking everyday no matter what. They make that everyday chore into something they really get into so it's never boring to them.
Can't say for sure if this applies here, but wanted to add an angle. Depression, even if it's low-lying, morphs people's personalities. Passion and motivation dies, focus is lost, and things you otherwise enjoy feel like dreary tasks. I can't imagine it's easy juggling 3 kids all day with little social outlet. I don't know OP personally, but maybe it's premature to conclude her interest in cooking isn't substantial enough to turn into a career since she hasn't had the opportunity to explore her interests/capabilities. It's easy to overlook since many of us were free to be kids, focus on school, and 'find ourselves' in our late teens/early twenties. It's natural for mothers, especially young mothers, to lose their sense of self taking care of others. But I agree she should take her time mulling her options. It's never too late to start being happy.
Hareem, best of luck with whatever you choose. Don't say nobody believes in you - you can't give anyone that power because it's not theirs to take. Start believing in yourself and the world will follow. I'd personally start with the BA. I think a vibrant college environment will do you good. It'll give you a sense of accomplishment along with a versatile degree, and you'll make new friends.
Bebo's idea is great. Start that blog. But also start something that isn't a solitary activity. There's no reason you can't pursue several things simultaneously.
I am sorry but I feel right now you don't have the right attitude and temperament to go and get yourself train'd as a chef .. You need to develop it first .
Getting your BA done is much safer route to take and then after finishing it , you may pursue your cooking passion by enrolling yourself in one of those apprenticeship programs.
chai - good points. it's just i've only ever read hareem saying how much she hates cooking... never the other way around.
i'm sure you don't enjoy homeschooling all the time either but i've never read you say you hate doing it. i don't want to discourage you at all but i do feel that when people really want to do something they need to have realistic short term goals to reach the end point. so you are busy with 3 kids and homeschooling which means you need to turn as many of your normal meals as possible into an experimentation or practice and use them as a basis for your blog. going on short courses for particular skills is a good idea too.
Thank you everyone for replying...found all the comments very helpful.
Stoppit, you're not the only one who said this. My husband also reacted by saying you always say you hate cooking. I've been cooking since the age of 13...mainly because I had to. Moved with bhabi at 15 and always received praises for anything I made for her....with inlaws, it was a different story though but never mind. The point is, I never hated cooking.
After being looked down by some feminist type of women I started seeing cooking and house chores as an obstruction, and the noble act of cooking didn't seem so noble anymore. I haven't cooked much in past 3 years but I know I'm good at it. So I want to kinda turn my weakness into my strength by not limiting cooking to just my kitchen. I want to let the world know that I can cook and I'm not ashamed of it. That will also help me enjoy cooking more by making new things for my blog and eventually for my portfolio.
About homeschooling, it was totally my decision and certainly there are days when I absolutely hate it but never have I regretted it.
Hope this explains it. I didn't wanna admit that I actually believed I was doomed and destined to kitchen just because I read a weirdo woman talking non sense.....but yeah, there are some housewives who are an absolute waste. I don't want to be like them but I don't want to be ashamed of something I'm naturally good at.
cooking.. blogging this and that... do you enjoy being at home all the times?? homeschooling.. doing online shopping waighara waighara... not that I follow all of your posts but** I** never saw you stating that you go out much to entertain Yourself...... first why dont you do something to entertaintain yourself outside of the house and see how do you like it??... how do you like meeting people and exchanging ideas etc. ...?? how is your and your husband's routine in managing house and kids (when u r out)? ...i say just take small steps first and see how it works for you and then take an important decision regarding your career....
Yes, I like being at home. Why, is that abnormal? I'm a mom of 3 homeschooled kids and I don't think I can afford to go out everyday. I don't really understand your question. We do go out as a family on weekend and vacations.
I just can't go out and start chatting with random people...that would be so weird.
Okay I have to warn you, just because you can cook doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to be able to make a career out of it. If you decide to get a job as a chef somewhere, you’re right, they’re going to ask for qualifications. So during your blogging etc if you determine that you’re really serious about this, then yes go ahead and get yourself proper cookery and health & safety training, without which the employers won’t even interview you perhaps. Even the waiters at my dad’s place had to take short H&S courses so forget about working as a chef without proper certifications.
If by “dreams” you meant starting your own restaurant business, I’d say Psyah bhai is right not to invest in it unless it was going to be a super posh, unique little place. There must be HUGE competition between desi restaurants in the UK so how unique is your business going to be? What will you offer the customers what others don’t offer already including cheaper prices, traditional food, comfortable and pleasant environment etc? So think about it practically instead of getting all emotional.
Here in Ireland, there’s restaurants closing down every other day. It’s not exactly a glamorous business, definitely not in the times of recession. Will your business be able to make enough profit for you to be able to afford £30,000+ annual rent? That’s just the rent, then there’s a million other expenses, bills, insurances, salaries, health & safety certifications and whatnot.
If I was you, I’d start small with the skills set I already have. For example, you did sewing courses… have you thought about creating your own alteration business? There’s a local shop here that does all this alteration stuff and charges like 20 euros just to fix something pretty simple like replacing zippers. People do pay that because no one really knows how to sew these days and the shop is actually doing pretty well. I know this because a friend of mine works there and loves it. They also provide other tailoring services apart from alterations. So perhaps advertise yourself in your neighbourhood, your circle of desi community, your family and friends … if it does well, only then make a little investment to further expand your business.
Or how about providing tuitions? You have the teaching skills as you homeschool your own kids so why not create a little tuition centre in your home? Tutoring pays well, I’ve been doing it for the last 4 years. If I wasn’t a full time student, this could be my full time job and I’d be making a decent income.
As for your degree in Psychology… I’m not sure how useful that would be… Here’s an article from last year on the majors with the highest unemployment rates The 11 Majors With The Highest Unemployment Rates. #1: Clinical psychology, #5 Educational psychology, #8: Industrial and Organizational psychology, #9: Miscellaneous psychology… This comment by a reader says it all:
BBC, I'm not sure about my husband's plans regarding opening up the deli. I was thinking if getting nvq in catering...it's cheap and flexible timings and you end up with 2 A-level equivalent qualification and a certificate of operating as commis chef in the kitchen. I'd like to go ahead with as the fee is pretty reasonable.
I can't do anything without making arrangements for a nanny. I can't hire a nanny unless the house is done (we are renovating the house for the past 2 years now and there is still a lot of work left...there are tools and equipment in the house everywhere and living here is like a nightmare for me but still husband is relaxed about it because he comes here only to sleep while I have to spend the whole day with kids in this dump). I've been doing a lot of DIY but there is just no end to this mess.
I want to take my kids and run away somewhere because he just doesn't understand.
I say load of things when in a bad mood. But cooking turns me on, specially if I'm cooking for guests. If I'm getting praises or money I won't be finding it boring. Cooking is like an anti depressant for me.
Cooking for guests and cooking for business are two different things. If you like cooking and you want that as a career don't be discouraged if the money aspects is not that high. Most people who do things that they love to do - don't worry about the amount of pay check.
Why don't you start small. Cater an event. Think and plan and print our menus. Get you name out there. You'll know whether you like doing this for life or not. If so, proceed with schooling.
and I am saying this from experience. my sis loves to cook and always thought she could run a catering business but found out that it was more stressful that she thought it was. Cooking for 20 guest at home was different than managing expectations for big events.
is there a reason why you wouldn't rather go in for a professional degree like accounting or something where you can find a job relatively easily, with a well-explored roadmap of careers, and a whole gamut of job locations and work timing choices?
I can't do anything without making arrangements for a nanny. I can't hire a nanny unless the house is done (we are renovating the house for the past 2 years now and there is still a lot of work left...there are tools and equipment in the house everywhere and living here is like a nightmare for me but still husband is relaxed about it because he comes here only to sleep while I have to spend the whole day with kids in this dump). I've been doing a lot of DIY but there is just no end to this mess.
I want to take my kids and run away somewhere because he just doesn't understand.
^ this is what i was talking about in my previous post..... most of the times you sound cranky and frustrated for whatever reasons (i m sure house renovating is just not the only reason) followed by your husband* choona lagaa-ing post :P ..... **I* personally feel it is just because of u being at home all the times and not doing something to make yourself happy.... it wont make you less of a mother and wife if you start going out alone once a week or so and take some classes or whatever that refresh your mind ... either it is some physical activity or some fun activity.... just do something that you enjoy...like i said it will also give you an idea how is your husband is managing his work routine and kids while you are away.....
no going out as a family doesnt count.... You go out alone and use that time just to think about yourself only....
Some really good advice from members here. ChaiBiskut is very right about college enviornmet doing you good and sense of accomplishment by completing a degree.
BBQ was on point about utilizing the skills you already have in sewing and start a small home based business. There are many famous websites like ETSY where small home based arts and crafts businesses sell their stuff. You can get inspiration from there and start making and selling your creations. No capital needed.
But before anything, you need to sort out your family issues. Gaging from your various posts, Your stress level seems really high and it is not healthy for you and your family. I hope you guys take serious time to work on your issues and set rules because communicating on GS really does not count or help.
