Absolutly fuming....!!!!1

Lifestyle Relationships
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Don't stress bout trivial things like dat use.ur energy in a positive way not worth da hassle.

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Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1

You were the FIRST to contact him after he gave you the cold shoulder. And then now you've texted an "I love you." So, you've done your part. The ball's in his court now. Your preggers...so instead of stressing yourself out by waiting next to the comp or the phone to hear from him....keep yourself busy in various activities. Give him space to sort out of his thoughts/feelings......he can't do that if you keep bugging him. Back off and let him call you....which he will eventually....as you are having his kid.

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Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1

I don't even know what your husband saw in you but then again you were just a 15 year old girl. No wonder you haven't grown up lol.

Don't you have any real friends that will smack some sense into you? seriously you're the most whiny mother I've ever heard of. I wouldn't tolerate it any longer if I was your husband.

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Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1

Text your husband and say your sorry for your behaviour over the last months, you have realised your mistakes and will make up to him when he returns?

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Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1

Nothing. Just let the man be.

You're going to give birth any day now. Stop dwelling on this nonsense. Take care of your daughter. Spend as much time as you can cuddling her, because when the new baby comes, their might be some jealousy issues. If you have not gone into labor yet when the wedding festivities start, call your in-laws yourself, not through the hubby, and tell them how much you are missing out, congratulate the hell out of them. Sound sincere.

When you go into labor, and your parents call to notify him, you'll have the joy of your new child to talk about. For God's sake don't turn into a screaming harpy and start yelling "Tumnay mera I love you ka jawaab kyoon nahai diya!!!!"

Do you think you can handle that?

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Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1

ok.

so il leave him alone then ...?

and i text him few times last night sayn love u etc, then he text me in the morning saying why u textn me when im slping, call me when am awake...etc....text him again cos my network was out of order anf my sms were not being sent either, so in the end got sent, then i called him and he said what jawab mein doun to ur texts, ( he normally does though) and he was givn me the cold shoulder, then he said we should on yl talk once twice a week, to save the fights -( WE HAVE HAD only one now not really had fights since ive been back) so i went all quiet and just said khuda hafiz...what can i say- if i had reacted wouldve made it worse, so i just said ok kh,

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Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1

helo, what have i done, am due in 2 weeks, am already not well, he knows all this, and we hav hd only 2 disafgreements since ive been back, since oct, and it was both this last week.......

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Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1

Ok mayb ur right that there is a cultural difference. They might not understand the desi stuff... but silly woman u need someone to vent to! they can help you in dealing with ur feelings... how can you say this?! The therapist is not going to tell you wether its right or wrong that ur name wasnt put on the card damn it...but she/he can help you with dealing with this which is obviously disturbing for you....
Seriously stop this nonsense... ur driving urself mad and ur driving ur husband mad.... ur playing with fire right now, if you ask me. If you actually wanted advice on this forum then you would stop all of this.

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Re: Absolutly fuming…!!!1

:frusty:

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Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1

I don't think that what your husband has suggested (talking a couple of times a week) is a such a bad idea. The way things are between the two of you....calling just a couple of times a week may even help to keep things calmer between you two. When they stabilize a bit....you can up the frequency. Some distance is good in a relationship, it can heal.....whereas hounding him can hurt things even more. This can be tough to put into practice....but the post itself is not hard to comprehend, Nadz. And if you're going to ask "duh" type questions after receiving clear-cut advice (which you have a tendency to do for even more simple matters that don't have to do with relationships)....then I don't know what to say. That's just really sad. You have two kids now...and you continue to act like a child. I've noticed that most women who post threads about their marital issues......at some point....they'll say that they realize where they went wrong and what they need to do. But you don't...you post things that only fuel matters for yourself, others, and readers. That's what makes me wonder if you're trolling. I don't think anything more can be said for you. Your in-laws are nuts...but you're a madcap as well. Best wishes.

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Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1

Nadz...perhaps instead of constantly requesting advice you don't intend to use, your time would be better spent in some serious introspection. Every thread you've ever started has to do with how you found something offensive/wrong/rude/inappropriate/etc. Has it ever occurred to you that YOU may be the problem? Because quite honestly, a good majority of rational minded people would look at a mehndi invitation and think "wow, that's a lot of glitter" and then move on. They wouldn't go into a berserk-er rage about not having their name printed on it. Most people don't read emotions into texts because that's an asinine thing to do...you simply can't read that type of nuance into a "call me later" text without actually HEARING someone's voice as they say it or SEEING the expression on their face. Most people would simply shrug off/laugh at the idea of someone telling them to send their infant overseas with a sick grandparent because that's exactly what you DO with such an absurd request...you laugh it off with a "oh hahahahahahaha that's sooo funny...no seriously, it sucks that we have to miss the wedding because of my pregnancy and because precious is too little to travel with my sick Baba but whaddaya gonna do right?"

And even if all of these things were done with the intention of getting to you...you LOSE because you're LETTING them get to you. If they're doing this to purposely cause trouble, then GUESS WHAT???? THEY'VE SUCCEEDED. Stop letting them win!!!

Also, therapists don't only come in a gora flavor. There are plenty of desi counselors out there. So maybe a little less time on gupshup and more time on google looking up a good candidate to vent to...it's not a bad thing to see a therapist or a counselor. It's actually a reflection of maturity to seek help when you know you have problems.

Sorry for my harshness.

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Re: Absolutly fuming…!!!1

yeh, ok . maybe u guys are right. but i dont think i need to see someone. i think i need to maybe read my namaz and start being more practising, maybe my religion may help calm me first.

so im backing off, wont call or text him then. and as much as you guys think i dont take advice or find ur views helpful, i actually do. i vent, and you all bring me down to earth when i need it. and it does help, as much as you all think im trolling. i actually find someone telling me maybe i could be wrong, soothing. i feel the need to then fix the problem, which sometimes doesnt work. im quite a pessimistic and find it hard to trust people, so yes i do trust my husband alot, and as much as people think i dnt like him, i love him alot. but as a person i can easily lose trust in people even if they say something like my husband just said oh lets call twice a week so we wont fight..see most of u think thats a good idea and that hes got his head screwed on, and i have to say he usually says stuff like this when we argue, but we ok aftwe a day or 2, this time im not physcially there with him, so who knows. but to me, him saying that sounds like i hate u nadz, thats it divorce time, no more…eveything sounds like that to me, although i do believe he doe slove me.

anyway, im still thinking should i really just leave him alone. or texthim once a day like i used to to say goodnight love u xxx. or would that be considered nAGGING…

jeez, i really shudve had boyfriends…maybe i wudve knows all this before then…:halo:

on a seperate note- i do appreciate the advice and time you all spend on here..for me esp…thankyou.

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Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1

I am absolutely fuming at the fact Nadz123 is fuming over something which I'm not too sure off.

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Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1

^Um...you're not being very saansitive right now, okay.

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Re: Absolutly fuming…!!!1

11 pages :woho:

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Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1

give her a break....

nadz you know best what to do, gud luc :)

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Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1

Honey just relax & don't let these choti choti baatein get to u, bhaar mein jaye shaadi aur bhaar mein jaeyin sub!
Tension is d last thing u need right now, jaan hai toh jahaan hai.
Have a safe delivery & don't get too worked up.

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Re: Absolutly fuming…!!!1

Seriously, some of the replies here are beyond annoying! :smack:

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Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1

if your name was left out intentionally.....wouldn't the joke/insult be on them if you didn't fuss about the exclusion?
if all their actions are intentional then they are looking for a reaction......and you seem happy to oblige every single time.
if they leave out your name then obviously others will notice too....and you NOT reacting to it will show one and all who is taking the high road and who isn't.

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Re: Absolutly fuming…!!!1

I wish she knew what to do… :halo: