on a seperate note- i do appreciate the advice and time you all spend on here..for me esp...thankyou.
Nadz, A LOT of people have suggested it and I'm going to second their recommendation, instead of opening threads, create a blog. Funny enough, people "judge you" less when you vent in a blog because that's your own personal space to let out your thoughts, moods, ideas, etc. People will give you the same sort of "advice" there if that's what you're looking for.
And as for doubting your husband's love and being pessimistic, your thought to become regular in namaaz is a wonderful idea. Ask Allah (swt) to grant you happiness, peace of mind and your husband's love and support in your prayers - He listens to us all and will give you the serenity and ability to cope with life's small and big hiccups.
Wishing you a safe and healthy delivery and happiness for you and your family, ameen.