Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
man oh man
if you believe in two Gods it is defect in your belief nothing to do with my opinion or anything i say whatesoever - if you dont see it then your thinking is biased (now this is my opinion)
Again, I repeat, IMHO, that is your opinion, and you have a right to it.
Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
the bold bits make me think..........you need to seriously re-consider this.......
if liitle issues like birthdays are making you concious now, a lot more is in store when it comes to children and their religoius upgringing...
Let's use the birthdays as an example. You have a child with your husband and want to throw a blow-out first birthday party for the kid, but oops! it's in the first 10 days of Muharram. He'll never celebrate it and do you know why? Because he'll want his family to be there as well and his mom and brothers would never countenance it. He will have to choose between you and your family and his family - and that very rarely ends well unless you're prepared to make compromises. But that requires a mature discussion between the two of you about the practicalities of life. Time to move on from the romance and get to discussing real life issues. If you guys are capable of compromises, this may work, if not, then God be with you.
Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
I want to marry him, and if i ever tell him that i am leaving him for this reason he will go mad how little i love him.. i'm like his family, **his mother is very close to me.. **his little sister thinks im his sister..
im sorry my reply is abrupt but my niece is taking the laptop from me.
Here is an idea. His mother was shia right? If you are close, why don't u find out how her life has been. She married out of sect. Perhaps she can set u at ease. Secondly, get a better idea of what they believe in as shias. Perhaps they have the "label" and don't necessarily subscribe to the entire following of the sect as strictly as you may think. Perhaps your views and hers actually resonate?
Kuch puch taj toh karo, phir socho
Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
Two gods? Are we talking about muslim shia and muslim sunni, or HINDUs here???
man oh man
if you believe in two Gods it is defect in your belief nothing to do with my opinion or anything i say whatesoever - if you dont see it then your thinking is biased (now this is my opinion)
btw, are you a shia?
Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
so? man talk to the point
Well, my point is... Wine and dine me first and then let's talk.
Slow and steady tiger!
Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
that was just an example
Two gods? Are we talking about muslim shia and muslim sunni, or HINDUs here???
Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
it was a very inflammatory one I must say.
that was just an example
Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
n/a
Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
Let's use the birthdays as an example. You have a child with your husband and want to throw a blow-out first birthday party for the kid, but oops! it's in the first 10 days of Muharram. He'll never celebrate it and do you know why? Because he'll want his family to be there as well and his mom and brothers would never countenance it. He will have to choose between you and your family and his family - and that very rarely ends well unless you're prepared to make compromises. But that requires a mature discussion between the two of you about the practicalities of life. Time to move on from the romance and get to discussing real life issues. If you guys are capable of compromises, this may work, if not, then God be with you.
hain g??
Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
.
Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
hain g??
I quoted your comment, but the response was directed at the OP. My long post can be simplified as - talk to him to understand him and figure out if you've enough in common and are able to compromise to make the relationship work.
Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
yar
u and awesome?
who two?
Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
.
Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
guyz hold your horses. we are not discussing religious debate here.
Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
U are cool :k:
Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
Its a difficult predicament that you're in.
All I will say is...you need to be ready for a lot of compromise if you wish to marry him. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that either...as long as you understand and are ready for it.
Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
Waise I'd like to add crazyfool that you are just engaged at the moment. You have the option of backing out if it seems too much to handle. The way you are talking, it does seem like it may become too much to handle. Nothing is set in stone yet with respect to you two getting married. So think about it carefully.
Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
we had the talk about his sect, and he said he believes some of sunni stuff and some shia stuff.. he has no issues about the kids, he said you can give them an option to choose.. we cant ever have any discussion on religion cause hes never interested in it and he says he has no knowlodge so he doesnt wanna comment. i know people change, but that change will be bought together.. it wont be the change in which we wont be together.. we will inshAllah get married in the coming year hopefully.. I want to marry him, and if i ever tell him that i am leaving him for this reason he will go mad how little i love him.. i'm like his family, his mother is very close to me.. his little sister thinks im his sister..
Firstly....that bold part you wrote....I know that sounds great and in a perfect world....that's how it should be. But...you need to come back to reality and accept that marriages don't always work out like that. Do you not read the threads on this site? How many wives here mention situations where their husband's changed after marriage? Do you think it's all just made up stories and those things don't happen in real life? And if there are other marriages out there where couples change separately....what makes you think you and your fiance are so different?
It doesn't really matter whether or not his little sister think of you as her sister....do YOU see her as your sister? Do YOU consider him to be your family?
You wrote you guys have talked about the "sect" issue...well talk about it again! Obvioulsy there are unresolved issues about this that is bothering you.....so bring it up with your future husband and resolve those issues like a mature couple.
Honestly ask yourself this.....lets say you marry him....and 5 years from now....all of a sudden he tells you that he has started to lean towards Shiaism......what will YOU do? Do you consider him and his family as your family enough to "deal" with HIM being Shia? What will you do IF/when he starts expecting that your children will follow Shia practices (for example: no celebrations durimg muharram)? Will you be ok with that or will you whine/cry/complain about it and be miserable? You don't need to post your "answers" here....but just sit down and really be honest with YOURSELF.....and think about what you would do in the above situation.
Re: About my relationship with my fiance.
Although I agree that the OP made a very poor choice of words when trying to express herself, I disagree with your comments about making peace. **You can't get into a relationship making peace **with things that don't quite take your fancy..
to my knowledge she's already in a relationship.
and the statement i made about making peace was **preceded *by the words *"depending on how much u love him"**