Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
As per me, I would like to follow this tradition , where Groom's family pay for all expenses, but ofcourse in a limit. I believe Pathans, Kayam Khanis and Arabs have this Tradition, And ofcourse no Dowry.
Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
Dope
just out of curiosity, how much
would you like to spend on your wedding?
Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
simple solution... stop seeking an ABCD girl
Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
Finally someone gets it. My 
to your madre.
I have invested my money wisely and have a nice nestegg put away for a rainy day (junior’s college fund, death in the family, a downpayment on another home), and I am not about to squander away 25 grand for one night of ephemeral feeling of merrymaking.
Anyone–man or woman–who exhibits such lack of common sense–thinking that blowing 25 grand on a wedding is acceptable-- needs a crash course in fiscal responsibility. period.
I still want to see if there are any men on this board who would oppose to a wedding taking place in a masajid with a few relatives and friends invited. No cake, no planner, no venue, nada.
I would rather give her a $10, 000 rock; at least it will have some salvage value in the future.
Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
u talking from experience…
Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
You are extremely naive if you truly believe this kind of lavish spending is limited to “ABCD” girls. Khair, that was the point I was trying to make which nobody seemed to comprehend.
There are plenty of girls, myself included, who would like an extremely simple wedding … a nikkah at the local majid is extremely ideal followed by a small reception. Whether or not that will realistically happen is another story. My family would be content with this, however, the vast majority of others would not be happy with this. You just need to continue looking. You will eventually find the type of girl who has a similar mind set as you, and if you don’t, then one of the two of you will have to compromise … assuming of course that you really want to marry the girl in question.
Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
Muslima, when are you planning to get married, And do you like Memons? because this community will really appreciate nikkah in masjid followed by a “Simple” Valima:blush:
Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
PartyGuyz, I am old enough to be your mother. Move on my son. 
Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
Okay question, Islamically who is responsbile for paying for the wedding?
Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
Dont get me wrong Amma Jaan, i aint memon and have no Such intentions either, i was talking in general though.
Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
Dope, i guess you have not seen weddings in pakistan and india.
Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
depends on your Maslak, i hate talking abt wedding expenses tho, in my opinion, Groom side should pay for all the expenses, but in our society(pakistani) its the other way around.
Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
Maslak? woh kya? I’m sure it’s one way in Islam but done differently with Pakis It’s so funny, women r pressured to giv up haq meher, but they HAVE to have dowry/jahez… gota love desis 
And lusi, yeah… i went to several weddings in pak and they are much more lavish and extravagant than the ones i’ve seen here… the ones here were kinda boring, but over there, well it wasn’t really paisa-wise better tho but rather there were more rasams like rasta rokhna, doodh pilai etc… it was fun :DI sooooo wanna do all those rasams,
Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
Now only if one of us was a guy 
If they guy is local it makes things much easier, just have a nikkah at home wiht immediate family followed by a reasonable wedding reception with the cost split between both parties. Ya that’d be ideal. Besides I don;t want to be stuck with the guilt of owning two very expensive outfits which i probably won;t even get to wear twice each!
Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
Personally, I have found ABCD girls more practical and realistic. I'm talking about the ones I got to know myself..., therefore I wouldn't generalize. However, if I were to generalize, I'd say the shallowness and greed is far more back in Pakistan.
As for spending on the wedding, you should do what the woman wants. Your money is safe unless you are marrying an idiot then your wedding day is just the start or your worries.
Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
i much rather have a small intimate gathering which would turn out to be way more elegant not to mention more organized than these huge carnival/circus of a wedding we see desi's have nowadays.
Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
o yaar shadi to waqai aise hi honi chahoiye perfect shaadi hogi jo is tareeqay yani saadgi se ho.par kya koi mujhe bataey ga k yeh ABCD konsi lardkian hoti hain?
Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
I agree that blowing $$s just for a wedding is wasteful, but I don't think just a plain and simple wedding is the solution either. Lets be honest here weddings are for women, most guys aren't that attached to the event. So it is entirely unfair to take that day away from the girl.
I would definately go for a smaller ceremony, but definately splurge a bit on the location, the classy touches. Basically, the goal here would be to make the girl feel special. I think that the memory alone would be worth it.
And yes, I am a guy.
Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
Actually its a lot worse in Pakistan. Girls are programmed to spend their whole life waiting for the culmination of their existence i.e. the big day. They want to be damn sure they don't forget it. And you'll be subjected to watching the whole sordid affair on video again and again and again........
Re: ABCD women are selfish and self-centered
My ABCD fiancee has big plans for our wedding, dholak every weekend one month before the wedding, a colorful mehndi night, a huge barat day, and then a never ending Valima. I, on the other hand simply can not afford such a wedding. But it would be a lie if I said I want a small wedding.