Why does everyone insist on replacing parents with others? I don’t agree with this at all! Everyone has their place and respect. No one can take my parents’ place. I am greatly offended when someone tells me, “aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain” or “inhain apna maa baap hi samjho” or “yeh tumhare maa baap ki jagah hain”.
What’s your opinion?
Re: Aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain
Are you talking about inlaws?
Re: Aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain
maan baap apnay apnay....
Re: Aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain
Are you talking about inlaws?
I suppose but it could be anyone, chacha/chachi, taya/tayi, mamoo/mumani, and others. It's when people already assume every elderly is like your parent.
Re: Aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain
Are you talking about after someone loses a parent? Or just in general after marriage and moving away from home for girls?
Re: Aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain
^any situation. Marriage or death of parents or whatever is the case.
Re: Aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain
I consider my inlaws as my parents. But I have learn that the rest aren't your parents, i did consider them as parents at one point. Even if you consider them like your parents, they won't consider you like their own (just my experience.)
Re: Aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain
Obviously if ones parents are alive and they have a normal relationship with them, no one can ever replace them.
If you* come from a tight knit family and are close to your aunts/uncles and you lose one of your parents, then if someone says that, it may just be a way of consoling you and saying you still have such a figure in your life (though it is not meant literally). I guess it also depends on what age you are when you lose your parent.
*(You meaning anyone and not specifically you)
Re: Aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain
Why does everyone insist on replacing parents with others? I don't agree with this at all! Everyone has their place and respect. No one can take my parents' place. I am greatly offended when someone tells me, "aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain" or "inhain apna maa baap hi samjho" or "yeh tumhare maa baap ki jagah hain".
What's your opinion?
Inlaws are not your parents. your parents are the ones that raised you, just because you got married doesn't mean that you can replace your own mother with the mother inlaw.
Re: Aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain
Obviously if ones parents are alive and they have a normal relationship with them, no one can ever replace them.
If you* come from a tight knit family and are close to your aunts/uncles and you lose one of your parents, then if someone says that, it may just be **a way of consoling **you and saying you still have such a figure in your life (though it is not meant literally). I guess it also depends on what age you are when you lose your parent.
*(You meaning anyone and not specifically you)
I don't understand how this can comfort anyone! I will throw a fit if someone said that to me. Yes, I am very attached to my family.
Re: Aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain
Inlaws are not your parents. your parents are the ones that raised you, just because you got married doesn't mean that you can replace your own mother with the mother inlaw.
Exactly! My parents raised me just like my parents-in-law raised my husband. This statement has been said to me on many occassions and it almost feels like I am being forced to accept them as my parents. I will never call them Ammi-Abbu. They just aren't! No one is.
Re: Aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain
Doesn't really matter, unless someone adopts u.
Desi people and their love for semantics.
Re: Aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain
I don't understand how this can comfort anyone! I will throw a fit if someone said that to me. Yes, I am very attached to my family.
It helps at the time to know that you have another person you can consider as a father or mother, if needed. These "parents" do help out the family. When my father passed away my chachu and my mamu stepped in and helped us in every way possible. For the longest time i considered my mamu to be like my father until something happened and he really showed he wasn't my father. Again, i think it was different for our situation because we were so young (i was 11.)
it not any different thn considering your elder brother as a father when the father passes away. It just helps to know you have someone whilng to treat you like a daughter.
Re: Aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain
I don't understand how this can comfort anyone! I will throw a fit if someone said that to me. Yes, I am very attached to my family.
Everyone is different. For some people it may seem like they have elders who they have always been close to, to lean on. For others it may seem like something callous after a loss of a parent because our parents are irreplaceable. I guess it all depends who says it and with what intent. I've heard people say some really obnoxious things to my mom after my dad passed, but also heard very warm support from those I am close to. At that time our emotions are kinda on hyper drive as well, so things have to be taken with a giant grain of salt.
Re: Aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain
It helps at the time to know that you have another person you can consider as a father or mother, if needed. These "parents" do help out the family. When my father passed away my chachu and my mamu stepped in and helped us in every way possible. For the longest time i considered my mamu to be like my father until something happened and he really showed he wasn't my father. Again, i think it was different for our situation because we were so young (i was 11.) it not any different thn considering your elder brother as a father when the father passes away. It just helps to know you have someone whilng to treat you like a daughter.
I simply do not care for it. I don't care if someone treats me like a daughter or not. The truth is I am not their daughter and they are not my parents. I have trust issues and it's very difficult for me to form any kind of relationship with anyone! I do not value relationships as most people do. I would be honest and tell you that I have no desire for human contact other than those I have been with since birth. I am quite possesive about the ones I do value. For me, it doesn't help to know that there is a father figure still in my life.
Re: Aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain
Why does everyone insist on replacing parents with others? I don't agree with this at all! Everyone has their place and respect. No one can take my parents' place. I am greatly offended when someone tells me, "aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain" or "inhain apna maa baap hi samjho" or "yeh tumhare maa baap ki jagah hain".
What's your opinion?
I've never heard "maa baap ki jagah hain". It's been more "maa baap ki taraah hain" (like your parents). I have a problem with the first because no one and nothing can replace my parents. The second, I actually like because it means I have a second set of people who care about me and treat me like a daughter. But again, it depends on the kind of in-laws you've got. I lucked out, alhamdolillah.
Re: Aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain
I've never heard "maa baap ki jagah hain". It's been more "maa baap ki taraah hain" (like your parents). I have a problem with the first because no one and nothing can replace my parents. The second, I actually like because it means I have a second set of people who care about me and treat me like a daughter. But again, it depends on the kind of in-laws you've got. I lucked out, alhamdolillah.
My in-laws are great. I have not seen or heard of better in-laws than my own. If there's any issue, it's my personality. I do not open up to others easily. As a matter of fact, I don't open up to people at all and it has nothing to do with them being a certain way. All those statements about being like my parents bother me.
Re: Aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain
who says that? no-one has ever said that to me...
Re: Aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain
nobody can take place of ur parents... inlaws or anyone else can never feels the way ur parents do.. so these r false statements....
Re: Aaj se yehi tumhare maa baap hain
p.s i could never call my inlaws as ammi abbu... as it sound weird to me.. even many ppl in my inlaws really mind that bcuz my dewranis/jethanis cal them ammi abu, bt i can never.. as i only got one mum n dad who i call by this